Sinner
by TillThatTime
Summary: Ichimaru had wanted to jar him, to frighten him, to pick up where they had left off and continue their little game that always left him feeling less than he was by the end. And Hitsugaya had played beautifully and pathetically into those cruel hands. YAOI
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Don't own

** A/N:** First bleach-fic and I am immensely excited. It's Gin/Hitsugaya, because it's sexy no matter what anybody says. Also, I have officially decided that Ichimaru Gin is one of the greatest characters to write. Reviews are appreciated! Thanks!

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**Prologue**

Ichimaru Gin was a man of many fixations.

Power, of course, was the thing that held his fascination the most. It came in so many delightful forms and each seemed to be as intoxicating as the next. There were some powers that had a way of flaunting themselves openly to any eyes that paused to linger or were forced to stare, dangling seductively in front of the greedy hands and hearts of the masses who were not immune to that type of charm. Yet, then there was that quiet power, often stronger in its covertness, and all the more alluring. Perhaps, this was the type of power that drew Ichimaru in the most, and perhaps that was the reason why he had followed Aizen in the first place.

Though Aizen Sosuke could charm his way into the hearts of the people who surrounded him, his exploits had always been clear to Ichimaru Gin. And he had always known that behind that polite smile there was a cold heart, a cunning mind, and an immense power that made the silver haired man's mouth water at the very thought of tapping into it. It was a winning combination in Ichimaru's book, one that drove him to show loyalty when he had always lacked it and instill enough respect to bow down graciously on his stubborn knees when given the opportunity to participate in the devil's game. Oh yes, Aizen Sosuke was a devil, but one that was destined to become God and who was Ichimaru Gin to stand in the way?

So Ichimaru followed along willingly behind the man that would mean the end for Soul Society, and he himself acted out the many games and tests the flowed intricately out the older man's mind, taking an active part in bringing his current home to its knees as he had been done as well. He did it all because Aizen-Taicho saw the potential that dripped freely from him, Aizen-Taicho had offered him a chance to stand unashamed in God's light, and Aizen-taicho had what Ichimaru craved and he had never been one to stand aside while power engulfed those who did not deserve it.

Some would say the Ichimaru Gin was wicked but he preferred to view himself as an opportunist.

It wasn't as if he didn't have a heart, his was just slightly distorted in the sense of what would be considered normal. He was man who knew what he wanted and consequence and guilt be damned.

His intentions were thinly veiled to the prying eyes that grew in number as the years passed and the smile that cracked his features offered little comfort to the his many suspicious comrades that watched out warily for Ichimaru Gin.

That fox-like grin offered him the appearance of a snake in the grass, biding his time before administrating a poisonous bite that could be fatal to anyone who happened to stand in the way.

But if Ichimaru was the snake then Aizen was the grass, and in the end which one was the most deadly? The snake makes no allusions to its deadliness. It is often blunt in its sinful prowess, and if you don't want to be bitten then you step out of the way. But the grass is what lures you into a false sense of security, hiding the otherwise viewable enemy. Offering safety in its cool and clean richness only to end of being the true betrayer for guarding the beast and allowing the fools who fall unaware into its lie to be bitten. Yet Ichimaru would always be the first one to be suspected while Aizen would always be the last because that conniving grin and those slitted eyes demanded more suspicion then a kind smile ever could.

Yet all of Soul Society would soon be the victim of both.

Ah, power, it made his hands tremble at the very thought.

Yes, power was the thing that Ichimaru craved the most, but it was not the only thing that held the third division captain's attention.

No, in fact there were many other objects that provided entertainment for the cunning man, and a little white haired captain was one of them.

He would suppose the reason he first started taking interest in the young shinigami was due to his childhood friend's, Rangiku Matsumoto, own relationship with the icy chibi-taicho. She would often ramble on, as she was prone to doing, her large breasts jiggling as she chuckled merrily over some sake while discussing the latest news on her newest captain. And Ichimaru would listen with growing interest at the descriptions of the genius-child that Matsumoto was so keen on describing.

And genius seemed to be the proper word when referring to the boy, especially considering he was the youngest shinigami in Soul Society history to be promoted to captain. He gained a lot of attention on his rise to fame, what with his immense power and exceptional ability to turn into quite the icy little bastard. He commanded respect even in his child body and that was something the Ichimaru covertly respected even though it did nothing to stop his open teasing of the boy.

But the boy's fighting ability, commanding presence, and snarky attitude were not the only things that drew Ichimaru to the child-prodigy. No, it was often whispered under the breath of those who did not want to appear perverts and drunks who were too far gone to care, that Tenth Division Captain, Hitsugaya Toshiro, was quite the gorgeous little thing.

And Ichimaru was not oblivious to this fact.

That snowy white hair that stood out stark in its unusualness and yet matched his icy demeanor and those wide green eyes that still held a sense of innocence even when scrunched in annoyance to compliment his pointed and elegant features that still held a trace of baby fat in his cheeks, and that body so small and lithe yet promising the hint of strength beneath that milky white skin was something that Ichimaru could not ignore. So while he carried on his deceit he also let his eyes wander to Hitsugaya-Taicho.

Yet, Ichimaru Gin was not well liked in Soul Society and Hitsugaya was of no exception to the rule. The boy seemed to develop a distrust for the silver haired man from their very first meeting and perhaps the animosity that he felt from the small taicho was even stronger then the one others held for him. Still, hatred was not the only thing he read in those piercing eyes, for Ichimaru had always been able to read people, and he could easily see that small hint of curiosity and the confusion that it brought along with it. This only proceeded to amuse him further and he spent what little free time he had tormenting the pretty prodigy.

Whether it be a small jeer or a lingering brush of contact, Ichimaru reveled in any reaction that he could bring from Hitsugaya. He played many games and this was one he had grown quite fond of. And still, even with the teasing and the seemingly innocent chats Ichimaru would not even attempt to deny that his little game was so much darker then all of that. For there were times when he wanted to break that pale skin and see what it would take to make that pretty mouth open in a scream of mixed pain and pleasure, and other times he merely longed to run his hands along that flesh and alight a blush the would be sure to follow in its wake. The boy was like a sin that a sinner like him had yet to indulge in, intoxicating as much as forbidden. And he knew he should have been disgusted by these thoughts and half of him demanded it but the other part of him was too amused by his own lack of decency to truly care at all.

He enjoyed those short moments of getting the boy riled up and being able to see a spark of passion that would be much better suited for his eyes and his alone.

His fondest memory of this had been so fleeting and exhilarating that he had spent hours later eternally laughing at it all. They had passed each other in the main office and Hitsugaya had shot him a well rehearsed glare and Ichimaru had felt that his only option was to step right in front of the short boy and with a snide grin reply. "Ya got so much anger pent up in the tiny body don' ya, 'ittle taicho-brat."

Hitsugaya had promptly proceeded to snarl, "Teme" coming out clearly through his clenched teeth. Ichimaru had merely laughed before reaching to cup the boys cheek, causing an involuntary gasp from the beautiful captain. "Careful 'ittle one, or I might jus' 'ave ta wash yer mouth out with soap." He had purred in a voice that was openly seductive and his hand had lingered a little too long for Hitsugaya's taste and a blush had formed on those baby cheeks and it was delicious moments like this that Ichimaru enjoyed reminding him that though he may command and deserve the respect of an adult, he was still a child in many ways.

When little Hitsugaya had become apart of their plans it was exciting and yet off-putting in a way. It meant more time to harass his little captain and yet the game was far more dangerous now, and Ichimaru often wondered at the relief that he felt that the object of his desires was still breathing when he fell bleeding to the floor. And as the bright light enveloped him and led him off to his new life of the power he had so craved, the single thought that lingered through the haze of anticipation was, _I'll be seeing ya again, Hitsugaya-Taicho._


	2. Seeing Red

Disclaimer: Don't own…thank God.

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! I am very excited about this story. First, let me clear a few things up. This is the second part to the prologue, the next chapter is where the plot actually begins, but before I got into it I felt that I should show the view points of both Hitsugaya and Gin. I really would like to keep both of them as in character as possible because that is one of my personal pet peeves. Also, I do realize that Gin's eyes are actually blue green, however the first time I saw them was in the anime when the manga volume showing his true eye color had not come out yet, so I'm going to go with the anime red eyed Gin…because I'm the author and I want to. Also, I want to rant for a second, and if you are a Hinamori fan, please stop reading here because I do not wish to offend you. Ok, I realize that Hitsugaya will not end up with Gin in the anime, however I've come to the conclusion that I don't care who he ends up with as long as Hinamori keeps her damn hands off of him, because it's obvious that the bitch has completely lost it. "Ohhh, by the way Shiro-chan, if you run into Aizen, don't hurt him, because even though he stabbed both me and you, I'm sure he means well. XOXOXO I heart Aizen-sama forever!!!" I mean, come the fuck on, how many different ways can you spell crazy? Ok rant done. On to the wonderful reviews.

Vixen-Ra: Thank you so much! I'm glad that I could deliver something that you've been waiting for.

Fan Girl 666: Thank you for your review and I hope to keep it interesting.

SecondtoNon: I'm happy that you like it and I would love for you to keep reading

DoYouFindMeDreadful: It is an honor that you like my story because I adore your work! Thank you so much for the review!

qwesdefloki2007: Oh, thank God you find it in character! I work really hard to keep it that way.

Don'tGiveMeThatCrap: Glomps Aww you are so sweet! You make me feel special. Thank you, sweetie.

Tyan: I am so glad that I could introduce you to the sexiness that is GinHitsugaya, and the fact that you like it is flattery enough for me.

Ana: Yay! I got you interested! More people should feel the love for this pair and now that I've turned one person, I feel as if I have made the world just a little bit better. snorts oh yeah, I rock. Thanks for the review!

Demonlifehealer: I know, Gin has become one of my favorite characters to write and I'm glad that you think I'm doing a good job so far! Thanks for reading!

I love you all! Reviews make me deliriously happy. I'm such a whore….Ok, finally onto the story.

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**Seeing Red**

If there was anybody in the world who truly confused Hitsugaya Toshiro, it was Ichimaru Gin.

He didn't want to admit it, even if only to himself, because admitting something like that would mean confessing that he had enough room for Ichimaru in his mind to think passed the hatred that he held for the fox-faced bastard. He really wanted to loathe the man who had betrayed the whole of Soul Society and a part of him whole-heartedly did, but still…

Something about Ichimaru made him pause long enough in his rage to do unwanted and serious damage to his already confused thoughts.

That bastard…

If anything, he should have had these thoughts when it came to Aizen, but no, he knew exactly where he stood when it came to _that_ man. Aizen Sosuke had been someone that mostly everyone looked up to, and in the privacy of his own thoughts, Hitsugaya could admit that he had been one of the many. So when it became known that Aizen had always been behind the entirety of the covert plot against Seireitei, his betrayal had been far worse than Ichimaru's own, because Hitsugaya had always known what to expect when it came to Ichimaru, had always known never to fully turn his back on that devilish grin, but Aizen had shocked him, floored him, and every other phrase that could never be used to describe the feeling properly. And, as he lay there bleeding out on the stone floor, his near death at the hands of someone who had been a beacon of kindness, Hitsugaya knew without a doubt how he felt. He knew that if he were to be given the chance, he would run Aizen Sosuke through without hesitation and only after he too lay helpless on the ground, surrounded by his own pool of blood, would he pause to ask the treacherous shinigami "Why?".

But when it came to Ichimaru…well, he wasn't quite as strong in his resolve. Not to say that he wouldn't like to permanently wipe that smirk off his face, but perhaps there would be slightly more hesitation.

And that was what was the most troubling of all, the fact that Aizen and even Tousen held the majority of his jaggedly divided detest rather then the man who had proven every untrusting suspicion that he had held right.

He could remember clearly, down to the finest detail, the reasons that Ichimaru had given him to fuel his hate. Two people, that he perhaps cared for more than anybody in the world, though he was hard pressed to admit it aloud, had been directly hurt by this man. He could still see visions of his childhood friend standing before him, sword aimed, tears streaming down her broken face, ready to kill him and that man standing not far off, wide smile distorting his features as always. And whether or not her brainwashing had been his plan, it still did not change the fact that he had been the one to act it out. And after Hinamori, there was his fukutaicho to think about. She had been Ichimaru's close friend, and though Hitsugaya could not figure out for the life of him why someone like Matsumoto would even care for an evil fucker like Ichimaru, that didn't change the fact that her hurt had been evident when he had left or that she still continued to hurt even now. Though Matsumoto put up a good front when she was not alone, being, in his opinion, as loud and obnoxiously cheerful as ever, he would sometimes catch a pained expression on her face when she thought no one was around. She was a strong woman no doubt, but she wasn't immune to the betrayal that everyone else felt, and hers was worse then most. And often times when he would catch her in that state, he found himself wanting to comfort her in some way, but being as socially inept as he was despite his wide range of talents, he always discarded his genius persona and feigned ignorance.

Ichimaru had turned his best friend against him and had played cruelly with the emotions of his second in command. It should have been enough, it really should have, and part of him believed that it was. And still there was that other part of him, however small it was, that tugged incessantly at the back of his mind and demanded that he acknowledge the fact that Aizen was the one who had really manipulated Hinamori and had tampered so calculating and sadistically with her thoughts and opinions that even after being stabbed in the gut by his sword, she would run willingly and eagerly to his side given the mere opportunity. And that, perhaps, Ichimaru did care on some level for his childhood friend and any hurt that he may have caused her had not been intentional and only an after effect of his loyalty to Aizen that was destined to happen whether he wanted it to or not.

He didn't want to think that way. He didn't want his brain to try to rationalize Ichimaru's actions. However, being every genius' downfall, his brain did so without his consent. It was infuriating and unsettling to wonder that if he were to once again come face to face with Ichimaru Gin, a known traitor following willing behind an ambitious monster as he ruthlessly climbed his way to the top, would he hesitate in delivering the fatal blow?

And what was an even more unnerving thought; would Ichimaru?

He wondered what Ichimaru had done to make him think this way, and even as the thought wormed its way into his mind, he already knew the answer. All of this uncertainty was because of the way Ichimaru made him feel. He'd worked so hard to prove to everyone around him that he was someone to be respected, that he shouldn't be underestimated, that he was not a child, and yet Ichimaru destroyed that work so easily and effectively that it left Hitsugaya feeling even smaller than before. He believed that he could scream over and over again that he was not a child and all it would take was for Ichimaru to say "Yes, ya are" it would make him feel as if it were so. Not even Aizen, who he was almost certain could defeat him in a fight and do it easily, made him feel this way.

And that's what he hated above all else about Ichimaru Gin.

It was because of those private encounters that he had with the deceptive man. Those times when they passed each other in corridors or vacant streets, when Ichimaru used mocking words to tease him, making all of his counter remarks feel almost childish in comparison no matter what he snapped back. Or like how sometimes in taicho meetings he would catch Ichimaru with his attention directed towards him, those hidden eyes searing right through him, the glances ranging from deceptively innocent to openly lewd, causing shivers to race unwelcome up his spine no matter how much he tried to suppress them. And Heaven forbidden that the man actually touch him, which he did without Hitsugaya's consent often, that condescending grin always, always present, seeing right through the glares that Hitsugaya vehemently threw towards him. Just a simple brush of a hand across his shoulder or a more blunt gesture of that same hand cupping his cheek, bony, long fingers caressing lightly across the skin below his eye, so taunting and yet at the same time somehow genuine. And he was never able to suppress the blush, never able to pretend he wasn't affected, never able to brush aside that lingering sensation of Ichimaru's callused and cold skin against his own.

How dare he touch him like that! How dare he make Hitsugaya Toshiro, Tenth Division Taicho, feel so inferior?

And to make it even worse, when Hitsugaya had actually fought him, he felt as if the third taicho was holding back, merely toying with him. His rage at seeing Hinamori lying unconscious on the floor, sword falling from her limp and bloody hands had driven him to attack who he believed to be the cause of it all, but it had been that look of amusement and those half-assed defenses that had egged him on. No matter how much strength he achieved was Ichimaru always going to view him as a helpless kid? And even if he did, why should that matter to Hitsugaya? And yet…it did.

Still, there was one crucial moment in that battle that refused to leave his thoughts. At that one moment, when Ichimaru had underestimated him just a little too much and he had caught him unaware, those forever hidden eyes had opened and that grin had been discarded and Hitsugaya was able to catch a glimpse of the true Ichimaru Gin, the real man who lay behind the fake mask. And that face haunted him and intrigued him and he wished to forever burn it from his mind and yet it refused leave.

And he saw it once more before the three traitors had left Soul Society. As he lay left for dead, he caught one last glimpse of the man who he had known all along was no good and yet had still managed to play him for a fool, and the expression that he saw on that pointed face puzzled his already hazed mind. Where he should have seen sadistic glee, there was an edge of remorse and perhaps relief? But relief about what, Hitsugaya did not have the slightest idea, but it was there, uncaught by Aizen, but seen clearly by him. And those eyes were once more wide open and that grin was once again gone and the last thing Hitsugaya saw before he blacked out was red.


	3. Welcome to Hueco Mundo

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its characters. Period.**

**A/N: **Alright kitties, I am taking a lot of creative license from here on out. For example, Hitsu-chan is going to be heading for Hueco Mundo to retrieve Ichigo…so I guess you could say that it is A/R from now on. I'm the author…I can do that sort of thing.

On to the reviews: 

fan girl 666: Thanks very much love. I wanted you all to see what Hitsugaya was thinking, I couldn't let Gin have all the fun.

qwesdefloki2007: Thank you so much. I am so glad that you think that I am keeping them in character and that you enjoy my writing. Oh no, this is not a one-shot. I couldn't very well end the story without a little bit of smexing, now could I?

Vixen-Ra: Yay! I'm really glad that you like it, and hope that you'll continue to read.

You guys are made of awesome.

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**Welcome to Hueco Mundo**

He was losing quite a lot of blood and he was losing it fast.

His breathing was ragged as he attempted to dodge yet another attack that was thrown his way, and as he felt his body slowly shutting down, he couldn't help but think of how he'd gotten himself into this situation in the first place.

A Taicho Meeting had been called shortly after he had arrived back in Seireitei after his extended visit to the living world. Yamamoto-Taicho had stood in the center of the hall as always but his calm demeanor had done very little to mask the heavy aura that surrounded the 13 Gotei captains. Even Zaraki Kenpachi, who was prone to dozing and/or making threats towards Kurotsuchi-Taicho during meetings, was giving off indications that his attention was in fact directed towards Yamamoto-Taicho.

The oldest captain then had proceeded to tell them that not only had Kurosaki Ichigo and a group of his friends entered Hueco Mundo against orders to retrieve their friend Inoue Orihime, but Abarai-Fukutaicho and Kuchiki Rukia had done so as well.

If they hadn't been before, all eyes had then been focused completely on Yamamoto, except for one Kuchiki Byakuya who had had his attention focused on the wall at the mention of his adopted sister "suddenly" disappearing on an unapproved rescue mission.

Hitsugaya had known what was coming next and showed no surprise when Yamamoto-Taicho stated that someone was needed to retrieve the stray shinigami. Kenpachi's eyes had shone with unveiled glee at the prospect of getting to fight top ranked hollow and perhaps also having another go at Kurosaki and Kuchiki-Taicho had seemed ready to step in as well for the sake of coming to Kuchiki Rukia's aid if need be, but before either of them could do so, Hitsugaya had taken one step forward, his green eyes focused squarely on Yamamoto-Taicho and without so much as a second thought, had said the three words that had sealed his fate.

"I'll do it."

He was not sure of the exact reason why he did it. Perhaps he'd felt it was his duty, being one of the 13 Gotei captains, or maybe he had even acquired some affection for Kurosaki and his friends during his stay in the living world. Or maybe, and this was something that he refused to dwell on, he had jumped at the opportunity to perhaps come face to face with Aizen Sosuke and even more so with one Ichimaru Gin. But he argued vehemently with himself that his only reason for this was so that he could thoroughly take down Ichimaru.

So he had entered into Hueco Mundo with the help of Kisuke Urahara and after he had done so he had almost immediately regretted his decision to refuse the offered help that Yamamoto had provided for him. His pride really did seem to effect his sense of reasoning, but he refused to admit that as well.

Yet he had somehow managed to infiltrate Las Noches barely scathed, and had little time to think on the fact that it was odd that he had yet to run into any formidable enemies or that he had not found any trace of Kurosaki Ichigo or any other of his comrades since his entrance into Hueco Mundo. However, once he had entered a well lit and vast room of white, his suspicious luck had run out.

An arrancar had already been there to meet him and as he had felt the massive reiatsu wash unwelcome over his body, he'd known that it was going to be a life or death battle with this guy and he hadn't been too sure of his odds.

It hadn't taken him long to find out that the arrancar's name was Jiruga Nnoitra and that he was, unfortunately, the fifth ranked Espada of Aizen Sosuke's army, as the hollow had pointed out himself, sticking out his tongue in a rather lewd gesture to show the young captain the number five that was tattooed there.

From there the battle had commenced…

…and currently the odds didn't seem to be in Hitsugaya's favor.

He moved quickly to the left to avoid yet another cero blast from the over-sized espada, and though he had lasted quite a while against Nnoitra he had the most aggravating feeling that the hollow was toying with him, much like Ichimaru had done during their own fight.

In fact there were quite a few similarities between the two, and Hitsugaya found it to be most unsettling. The most prominent of these features that made the small taicho uncomfortable was the wide grin that seemed to be ever present on Nnoitra's face, It was such a reminder of the fox-like smile that Ichimaru always wore that Hitsugaya found himself wanting to close his eyes against the familiar image, but realizing that such and act would certainly lead to his death, he forced his attention on the condescending smirk.

Another similarity between the two was the vulgarity that both Nnoitra and Ichimaru seemed to possess. As he fought with the fifth ranked espada he felt that both pairs of slitted eyes, one familiar and one new, were focused on him, sizing him up and devouring his body with gaze that would seem more appropriate in a bedroom.

But the most important of the similarities between Jiruga Nnoitra and Ichimaru Gin was their uncanny ability to make Hitsugaya Toshiro very uncomfortable. To make him feel humiliated, small and much like the child that his body showed him to be.

And he hated it.

However, he could admit, even if it was only in his head and even if he really didn't want to, that he preferred Ichimaru over Nnoitra greatly. Because with Nnoitra, there was no tingling feeling to accompany the detest. There was no blush to go along with the lewd remarks. There was no hesitation.

Only hatred.

And though he felt that with Ichimaru as well, there had always been something to soften the blow.

But not now, not here, and not with this bastard.

"What's the matter, getting tired there, brat?" Nnoitra called out cruelly, his one visible eye shining with barely contained mirth.

Hitsugaya could only glare as he took ragged breaths, wondering vaguely if his lungs were collapsing on him. He could feel the trickle of blood falling into his eyes and reached up to hastily wipe it off, knowing that his dizziness and nausea must surely be caused by the head wound he was currently sporting.

He had to contain a gasp of surprise when Nnoitra appeared right in front of him, his face mere inches from Hitsugaya's own. Momentarily caught off guard, Nnoitra took the opportunity to kneel down in front of him as one would do to a small child--Hitsugaya wasn't sure if Nnoitra did this because of his incredible height or just because he wanted to piss him off-- and grasped his chin firmly in one long hand.

"You know kid, you're quite the pretty one…even when you're covered in your own blood." Nnoitra finished with a lecherous smirk and a delighted giggle, and Hitsugaya let loose a furious growl as he swung Hyorinmaru, hoping desperately that the blade would slice through the bastard. However, Nnoitra quickly dodged, leaving Hitsugaya to swing through the air, and lurch forward from the dizziness that the act caused him.

"Aw, you don't seem to be doing so well, babe. I'm not too rough on you am I? I'd hate to break such a pretty little bitch" The quinto espada teased, watching with apparent amusement as Hitsugaya struggled to remain standing. "Though I do have to congratulate you for keeping it up for this long. Makes me wonder if you have this much stamina in other activities." The meaning to Nnoitra words were clear and Hitsugaya felt his blood boil at the implication.

"Shut the fuck up!" Hitsugaya growled, sword aimed once more.

Nnoitra feigned mock shock at young taicho's choice of words "Careful there, Taicho-chan, or I may just have to wash your mouth out with soap."

Hitsugaya froze at the arrancar's choice of words, his hands shaking slightly and not entirely from fatigue. Those words were so familiar, he'd heard them before, only back then the voice had been different…back then the words had been accompanied with a gentle and mocking touch…back then…

How dare this bastard use those words on him! Only one person could…

Fuck!

Hitsugaya let out a cry of rage as he raised his sword once more. "Bankai!"

Nothing happened.

He only felt a sickening pulling in his stomach as he screamed the word. He faltered in his stance and fell heavily to his knees, Nnoitra's laughter ringing coldly in his ears.

He didn't have enough reiatsu left. All that time he had been saving his bankai for when he ran into Aizen or Ichimaru, and now he didn't have enough energy left to produce it at all. He had made a fatal mistake, one that was surely going to cost him his life.

_Is this really how it ends?_

Hitsugaya braced himself on his hands as he watched Nnoitra slowly advance towards him, his grin widening with each step that he took. He had a bad feeling about the way that Nnoitra was currently looking at him and he struggled desperately to get to his feet. The espada was merely two feet from him, when a monotone voice rang through the air. 

"What do you think you are doing?" Both Hitsugaya and Nnoitra turned their attention towards the voice. There, near the entrance to the room, stood another arrancar. This one was far shorter than Nnoitra, Hitsugaya vaguely noted, and yet the reiatsu that leaked from him was perhaps even more suffocating. Hitsugaya let his eyes trail up to view the arrancar's face, and the first thing he noticed was the twin trails of green tears that led from equally green eyes, giving the must be espada a rather melancholy look opposed to his lecherous comrade.

"Ah, Ulquiorra, I see that your timing is as impeccable and unwelcome as always." Nnoitra's grin had changed into a sneer at the sight of the new occupant in the room.

"I'll ask you again, Jiruga, what are you doing?" The shorter espada seemed unfazed by the look he was receiving, and merely raised an eyebrow at Nnoitra, waiting for a reply.

"I'm just having a little bit of fun is all." Nnoitra answered in a tone that was meant to appear innocent as he let his eyes trail up and down the fallen taicho once more. "Isn't he adorable?" Nnoitra crooned, roughly grasping Hitsugaya's chin and forcing his face towards Ulquiorra

"Hn." Was the arrancar's noncommittal reply as he nonchalantly eyed the battered boy. "Aizen-sama sent you to capture him, not play with him, Jiruga."

"Oh, but that's no fun!"

"That's not the point. Now come on, Aizen-sama is waiting." Hitsugaya didn't have time to react as Ulquiorra raised a single hand towards him and in the next instance everything was black.

He didn't even feel his body hit the floor.

When Hitsugaya awoke, the first thing he saw was Ichimaru Gin. He stood quietly beside a throne, his hands joined under long, white sleeves, and his infamous grin plastered on his face. He was just like Hitsugaya remembered him being, and as Ichimaru gazed at him and stared back, he once again felt that familiar feeling of discomfort and heat throughout his entire being.

"Ichimaru" Hitsugaya awoke from his daze and quickly jumped to his feet, but the action was too much, too fast and he sunk back to the floor on his knees.

"Are you feeling alright, Toshiro-kun?" A devastatingly familiar voice rung in his ears and he sharply turned his gaze away from Ichimaru to let his green eyes rest on the throne that he stood beside. Sure enough, there sat Aizen Sosuke, his head resting against a lazily placed hand, with a seemingly concerned expression on his handsome face. However, Hitsugaya knew what truly hid under that kind façade and his eyes narrowed at the sight of Seireitei's greatest traitor.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that, you bastard!" Hitsugaya threatened in a low voice, his fists curling in wards as his eyes stayed locked on the man that he hated most in the world.

Aizen's lips twitched slightly at the response that he received and he leaned forward in his chair. "I see that you're as pleasant as always…Hitsugaya-taicho."

"Fuck off, Aizen. Let me go." He knew that it was a ridiculous request, but since Hyorinmaru was nowhere in sight and he wouldn't have been able to fight anyways, he felt it was his only option.

"Oh no, I don't thinks so, Toshiro-kun. You see, we've decided to make you a permanent guest here in Hueco Mundo." Aizen finished with a wave of his hand, as if dismissing the request altogether.

"Like hell!" Hitsugaya shouted, eyes darting around frantically, noticing finally that he was surrounded by what must be Aizen's espada.

"Now, don't be so difficult." Aizen scolded lightly, and Hitsugaya swore that he had never wanted to kill somebody quite as much as he did right then. Aizen scanned over his appearance and made a tutting sound as he took in the state of Hitsugaya's clothes. "That wont do at all. Why don't we get you changed into some more appropriate attire. Nnoitra?" Hitsugaya's eyes widened as he felt strong hands grasp his shoulders. Yet his expression went from shocked to one of pure horror when he felt those same hands begin to work on the tie around his haori.

"No, stop! What are you doing?!" Hitsugaya struggled against Nnoitra, but it was futile in the state that he was in.

"Changing you, of course, Toshiro-kun." Hitsugaya could only struggle harder as realization hit him fully. They were going to undress him in this hall, in front of everyone. No one had ever seen him naked before. Even when it came to bathing, Hitsugaya had always opted to bathe alone. He was sure Aizen knew this and that's why he felt it was necessary to begin the process of stealing his dignity away. Hitsugaya felt a cry of desperation rip from his throat and in Aizen's eyes there was a glint of something that bordered on sadistic. And as Nnoitra continued to fumble with his haori, Hitsugaya's eyes focused on one man and one man only.

Ichimaru Gin.


	4. Friend

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**A/N: **Yay! Another chapter! I am glad all of you guys are liking this fic. I really enjoy writing it. Yet, I just wanted to make sure and say something. I…don't do rape. I just can't bring myself to do it. The closest I can willingly get is dubious consent. So if you guys were expecting this to be a non consent fic…er, sorry. Please keep reading anyways? Alright, on to the reviews!

fan girl 666: You have no idea how glad I am that you like this fic. Also, thank you for being such a devoted reviewer, it really helps me to keep going.

qwesdefloki2007: I know, I should really stop being mean to little Hitsu, but he's just so cute and fun to torture. Oh, and thank you for seeing the similarities between Gin and Nnoitra!

Neko Oni: I love adorable!Hitsu too! Though adorable, bitchy Hitsu is tops. I'm glad you think they are IC, like I've said many times, that's a big pet peeve of mine. Oh, and I like Ichi/Hitsu as well!

lysori: Thank you so much for complimenting the way I set up their relationship. I want to keep it believable, because I really just don't like those stories where they are both so OOC that's it's like they are different people with the same name and they fall madly in love in the first chapter. It…ruins it for me. So thank you again!

Vixen-Ra: Your review had me rolling. I can just picture Toshiro walking around with "fuck me" tattooed on his forehead. I officially love you, thank you for making me laugh. Also thank you for sticking with this story, it's reviewers like you that keep me going.

Crescent-Moon-Love: I updated! Thanks for reading!

DoYouFindMeDreadful: Yeah, so I pretty much freaking love you. First you make me adore your fics and then you leave me that beautiful review. I'm so glad that I could not only meet but exceed you expectations of this fic. And I am even happier that you like it. I write for you guys! Thank you so much for the review, it made me deliriously happy.

ying9: Nope, no secrets hidden under Hitsu's clothes, just the fact that he's a little prude who doesn't like being eye-fucked by a bunch of strangers. I hope that I have eased the suspense for you and that you can get some sleep, love. Thanks so much for the review!

Kazuya Arsashi008: Alright, you have scared me into updating faster! You really think it's one of the best? Oh my blush thank you so much. I hope you continue to enjoy and you continue to read it. Ja ne.

HI: Hi back! I feel sorry for him too, but don't worry, things wont always be bad. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I love you guys!

* * *

** Friend**

Ichimaru watched as Nnoitra's slender fingers fumbled with the tie around the small taicho's waist. The once purely white haori that Hitsugaya wore was now covered and smeared in the captain's blood. Once a seeming symbol of purity and now just as soiled and tainted as everything else in this hell of a world. Ichimaru would have figured it to be rather poetic if he had a taste for a such a thing.

His condescending grin stayed firmly in place as he watched the boy desperately try to fight the espada who was working quite joyously on undressing him. He continued to eye the child's appearance, noticing how the blood that trailed tauntingly down his baby cheek had also found its way into his shock white hair, matting it and discoloring it the same is it did to his captain's robe. Hitsugaya was breathing harshly in apparent panic and overwhelming fear, no longer worried about not acting like the child everyone viewed him to be, and only desperate to retain that innocence that being a child brought. And those eyes, those bright green eyes, were wide, helplessly desperate and…

Planted directly on him. It was as if Hitsugaya was almost…pleading to him.

Ya wanted ta be a man, Hitsugaya-taicho. This is wha' happens when ya play with tha big kids.

He broke the eye contact that he held with Hitsugaya and instead let his slitted eyes wonder across the meeting hall. While his eyes scanned over every arrancar in the room, all the arrancar had their eyes focused unwaveringly on the struggling child prodigy in the center. Some faces were cold and just as vacant as they always were, only watching because it was expected of them, while others watched with a type of carnal glee that one might look on a helpless dog with just before they kicked it in the ribs. But most of all the emotion that he saw in those hollow eyes was…lust. It was not often that something so innocent and pretty was presented so deliciously helpless in front of them.

Some even began to adjust their pants, there hungry eyes never leaving the show. Ichimaru had the oddest feeling that he just perhaps wanted to viciously rip their eyeballs out of their sockets. In all actuality it wasn't that uncommon of an urge for him, but it was what was causing the emotion that was the most puzzling. He pushed the feeling aside, his grin only widening.

Finally his gaze came to rest on his leader. Like everyone else, Aizen's focus was in the center of the room, watching the display take place with a sadistic satisfaction hidden behind that warm and welcoming smile. Ichimaru expected no less from his eternal captain.

Ichimaru's focus was ripped back to the center of the room by a small whimper, followed quickly by an outraged cry. "I'll kill you Aizen! I swear it! Dammit…dammit, stop!" Hitsugaya's voice was rasped by this point, tightened with desperation. He continued to struggle, never fully submitting, his pride not allowing him to.

"I'll advise you against making threats in your position, Toshiro-kun." There was a sharp smack heard throughout the room, and green eyes went impossibly wide as Hitsugaya's head was forced to the side, his cheek already reddening as a small and pathetic cry of shock and pain fell from his parted, bloodied lips. Nnoitra only laughed cruelly as he continued with his task, the white and soiled haori falling forgotten to the floor. "Now be a good boy and be quiet." Aizen finished, his voice as kind and unfazed as ever.

Ichimaru was not enjoying the show quite as much however. Of course, it was definitely a delightful bonus to see the little taicho bared before his eyes, discarded of those heavy robes that hid his tiny yet toned body from sight, but it wasn't necessarily a view that he wanted to share with everyone else in the room, and Hitsugaya had such lovely skin that it was a shame to see it welted and reddened from the abuse that the espada's hands could bring. He found himself not nearly as pleased as he would have liked. He was well aware of what this feeling was however. They called it jealousy…perhaps even possessiveness. Ah yes, he seemed to be slightly possessive of the child taicho.

How troublesome.

He felt something inside him snap as one beautifully paled shoulder was revealed to him- and the rest of the occupants of the room- reddened slightly from the blush that had undoubtedly spread its way over Hitsugaya's entire body.

"No." Hitsugaya's voice was soft, barely heard over the somewhat quickened breathing of the espada in the room, but it was no less distressed then before, perhaps even more so now. And once again those eyes were on him. Looking at him as if he somehow could, or would be willing to help. Looking at him as if Ichimaru Gin had not stabbed countless people in the back hundreds of times over. Those eyes were far more trusting then they should have ever been when directed at him, and he found it to be disgusting, amusing and rather adorable all at once.

But it was enough.

"Aizen-sama?" Ichimaru called out in his usual cheery voice. Aizen held up a hand for a moment, ceasing Nnoitra's attempts to undress Hitsugaya, and turned his attention fully on Ichimaru.

"Yes, Gin, what is it?" Aizen asked in a pleasant voice, but no less pointedly.

"Perhaps ya could give tha brat ta me, ne?" He threw out casually, his smile never leaving his face as Aizen raised an eyebrow at his request.

"Oh?"

"He's sucha ornery little thing, ain't he? Perhaps, I could teach him ta be mo' polite…privately." He added on with a very convincing leer. And he saw Aizen's eyes shine with amusement at the idea of just how Ichimaru could teach the boy to behave. He almost had what he wanted. He just needed one more little push. "Think o' it as a gift, Aizen-sama. Fo' bein' yer oldest and mos' loyal companion." Ichimaru knew that last part was a bit much, and Aizen surely did as well, but he understood how Aizen's mind worked better than anyone else, and he would find Ichimaru's words more amusing then they actually were.

He let out a light chuckle and waved his hand at Nnoitra, signaling for him to stop his ministrations permanently.

"How very right you are, Gin. Very well, you can have your new pet, but do teach him how to be a proper slave of Hueco Mundo, would you?" Aizen said lightly, beckoning Nnoitra forward, who in turn drug Hitsugaya with him.

"Gladly, Aizen-sama." He assured, watching as Hitsugaya was led towards him by a very annoyed looking Nnoitra, only to be tossed roughly in his direction. The boy was already exhausted from the brutal treatment he had received, so he began to plummet helplessly to the ground, only to be caught in Ichimaru's arms just before hitting the cold marble floor. "Careful there, Snowy-chan." He whispered tauntingly in Hitsugaya's ear, knowing that only he could most likely hear it. He felt Hitsugaya tense in his arms and emit a low growl, yet unable to keep his head up as it rested unwillingly against Ichimaru's chest, grudgingly finding comfort there.

Without so much as a thought of the people around him, he hoisted the small boy up into his arms, completely dismissing Hitsugaya's groans of embarrassment and rage. "It's either this o' I drag ya." Hitsugaya quickly quieted down, reasoning that the alternative was worse.

Ignoring the glares around him from the arrancar that were very disappointed that he had stopped the show, Ichimaru snatched Hitsugaya's new clothes from Nnoitra's clenched fists, giving the espada an amused grin and exited into the hall. He began to head quickly in the direction of the room where they would be keeping their new "guest."

Once inside, he let his gaze wander over the small room. It was nowhere near the size of his own, but that was to be expected, Hitsugaya was a prisoner after all. The only furniture in the room was a twin sized bed, a nightstand and a sink, but it was clean. It could have been worse, it really could have, but Aizen liked to play the nice guy…it worked well when covering up the fact that he was an evil bastard.

He sat Hitsugaya down on the bed, uncaring that the boy's blood was sure to get on the clean sheets. It wasn't his problem after all.

He held Hitsugaya by the shoulders, making sure he was steady before he let go, taking a step back to study him. "Ya don' look s' good, taicho-brat." Ichimaru sing-songed, as if he found the entire situation to be quite delightful.

Hitsugaya could only muster a glare for a moment, but it was fleeting and his gaze softened slightly as he opened his mouth to speak. "I…thank you…" He mumbled, his eyes diverting to the ground.

At that moment Ichimaru stepped closer to him, bending down slightly, yet still forcing the short boy to look up at his face. "No need ta thank me. In fact, I wouldn' if I were ya." Hitsugaya looked at him with a slightly puzzled expression as he spoke. "I'm not yer friend, try ta remember that."

Hitsugaya's expression hardened once more. "I wouldn't dream of it." Ichimaru's grin only grew at Hitsugaya's harsh reply.

"Good. Now let's git down ta business, shall we?" with that he reached forward, his hands coming to rest on Hitsugaya's black hakama.

"No…" Hitsugaya tried to jerk away from Ichimaru, but the older man held fast.

"I could always take ya back out there." He leaned in close to Hitsugaya's ear, his breath ghosting over the shell, causing the young taicho to shudder. "All those eyes watchin'. is that wha' ya want?" Hitsugaya looked at him in disbelief, before slowly shaking his head. Ichimaru chuckled slightly before beginning his task. However, his hands were different then Nnoitra's had been. Though both had the same goal in mind, Ichimaru's hands were far more graceful, far more careful. He slowly slid one sleeve off of Hitsugaya's shoulder, only to gently pull the other one away as well, mindful of the cuts that were there. He let the material slip off of both of Hitsugaya's slender shoulders, revealing his upper body to his eyes. Hitsugaya's skin was a snowy white and soft to the touch, flawless besides the cuts that he had received. He muscles were forming nicely and toned, but they weren't as refined as his own, Hitsugaya's body was still growing. And those nipples, so small and pink in color that Ichimaru found himself wanting to graze his nails across them, but he restrained himself. Hitsugaya tensed when Ichimaru let the tips of his fingers linger for a little longer then necessary. He blushed under the scrutiny of Ichimaru's gaze.

"Kuso, get on with it." He said heatedly, trying to hide his humiliation by looking away. Ichimaru merely tutted at his words, and Hitsugaya was surprised when hands didn't immediately begin to work on getting the rest of his clothes off. Instead Ichimaru ripped a length of material from the sleeve of Hitsugaya's haori.

"Ya won' be needin' it no more anyways." He said pointedly before heading over to the sink in the corner and filling the bowl that had been placed beside the sink, along with medication, with some water. He made his way back over to Hitsugaya and knelt in front of him. And Hitsugaya couldn't help but look on in disbelief as Ichimaru slowly wet the torn material, only to wring it out and place it almost gently against one of the many cuts on Hitsugaya's chest. Hitsugaya let out a hiss at the contact and Ichimaru giggled. "Hush, o' I might jus' have ta treat ya like the baby ya are." Ichimaru teased. Hitsugaya growled in response and in retaliation Ichimaru pressed down harder than necessary, causing Hitsugaya to let out another hiss of pain.

After that they were silent as Ichimaru continued to clean and treat his cuts and Hitsugaya watched him work. At one point, Ichimaru let the cold material run over Hitsugaya's nipple and the silver haired man let out a chuckle of delight when Hitsugaya jumped in surprise and the bud hardened involuntarily.

"Bastard." Hitsugaya grumbled and then fell silent once more. It was only after a few more minutes of the gentle cleaning that Hitsugaya became curious enough to ask the question that had been bothering him. "Why are you doing this?" He questioned softly. Ichimaru paused in his ministrations to look at Hitsugaya, who, even when he was kneeling, was at his eye level.

"I could jus' let 'em git infected and let ya die. It don' bother me none. I jus' figured ya'd wan' 'em clean, ne?"

Hitsugaya nodded hesitantly, not really liking the answer but figuring it was the best one he was going to get.

Ichimaru carefully wrapped the tips of fingers underneath Hitsugaya's slim jaw, tilting his head up as he began to clean the blood that was caked there. Hitsugaya sat transfixed as Ichimaru worked, staring as best he could at the slowly moving digits. The silence between them was far more comfortable then it should have been.

"Mah mah, such baby soft skin…" Ichimaru mused as he glided the damp cloth over Hitsugaya's cheek. Hitsugaya couldn't help but blush once more.

"I understand why you are doing this, but…" Hitsugaya hesitated as Ichimaru studied him with those unseen eyes. "Why are you being gentle? I wouldn't expect it from you…"

"I can be rough, if tha's wha' ya wan'."

"What do you care what I want?" Hitsugaya snapped, his icy glare set back in place.

"Really, I don'. If I wanted ta, I coul' rip away yer clothes an' fuck ya 'til ya screamed. O' better yet, I coul' git one of tha espada ta do it fer me. I jus' don' feel like it… O' maybe perhaps I am jus' a caring person."

Hitsugaya gaped at the other man for a moment, shocked by his words, though he really shouldn't have been. This was Ichimaru Gin after all. "I hate you…" Hitsugaya knew the words were childish, but they left his mouth faster then he could stop them.

Ichimaru only snorted at the remark. "Ya soun' like yer tryin' to convince yerself." He said simply before pulling the boy to his feet. Hitsugaya had to hold onto the sides of his hakama to keep it from falling completely to the ground.

"What are you doing?" Hitsugaya questioned, mildly alarmed.

"Ya didn' like me treatin' ya nice, so I won'." with that he pulled away Hitsugaya's hands that were holding his hakama up, and began to slide it down the boys legs, resting his hands on Hitsugaya's slender hips in the process. "I'll continue ta undress ya like they did in tha hall."

Hitsugaya gave a soft cry as his hakama pooled at his feet, leaving him exposed in front of Ichimaru, only left with his underwear to block his most private parts from Ichimaru's eyes. "Gods, stop! Ichimaru!"

"wha's tha matter now? There's jus' no pleasing' ya, is there, Shiro-chan?" Ichimaru said the words like a cruel joke as he hooked his thumbs in the material of Hitsugaya's underwear, preparing to pull it down only to hesitate at the end as he took in Hitsugaya's appearance.

Hitsugaya was shaking violently, and as Ichimaru looked down at him, he noticed that his eyes were squeezed tightly shut and the word "don't" was forming silently and repeatedly on his cracked lips. His skin was even paler than usual and this time there was no blush on his soft skin, no hint that perhaps he didn't hate this as much as he let on. Hitsugaya Toshiro was terrified, absolutely fucking terrified. It was a pathetic sight really.

Ichimaru clicked his tongue in mock disapproval as he pulled away, detaching himself completely from the still trembling boy. Hitsugaya slowly opened his eyes in confusion, and Ichimaru merely walked passed him, picking up the clothes that had been discarded on the bed and tossing them at the child.

He began to make his way towards the door, only stopping to call back over his shoulder. "Git yerself dressed, Hitsugaya-taicho. Call it a gift from a friend." He let a soft laugh escape him for the benefit of his own joke, before stepping outside of the room, shutting the door and locking it behind him, leaving Hitsugaya to stand in the middle of the room, clutching the worn and plain material in his small hands.


	5. Child

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or any of its characters.

**A/N:** Oh yes, thank you so much for all the reviews. They are simply wonderful. I am glad that you all are enjoying this story and I hope to not disappoint. Just a note…yes, I am trying to make Gin and Toshiro's relationship as complicated as hell, but you've got to admit, it's more fun that way.

Anyways, onto the reviewers.

fan girl 666: I believe the reviews deserve just as much credit as I do for keeping this story going. And of course I had to save little hitsu-chan.

DoYouFindMeDreadful: Ah, but there clothes making the smexing all the more easier, and who doesn't want to see Gin molest Toshiro? And don't worry, the sex will come and I don't think that it will disappoint. ;)…so, do you want to have the love-fest now? Like in a corner?

qwesdefloki2007: Sorry to have kept you waiting. And yes, I couldn't have too many bad things happen to little Hitsu-chan with out Gin coming to his rescue.

Vixen-Ra: Thank you for sticking around, you kick so much ass in my book right now. So, how about a tattoo with neon ink? It's a compromise of both visions and rather affective I think.

ying9: Yes, I wanted to make Gin different from rapist!Gin, but still keep him in character. I hope it is working.

DontGiveMeThatCrap: Oh yes, I must admit that I am quite the tease, and it was my goal all along to seduce you into liking my story…I am glad it worked! Heh, am such a review whore.

Iron Reaver: I love you, and yes, I mean in the creepy stalker way…there's a longer reply on AFF

TheGreatMillz33: Yes, I wanted to start the story off as an eye-catcher. Glad it caught yours. And never fear, the lemon will come…pun definitely intended.

Kazuya Arsashi008: Thank you for not putting pressure on me, but I wont keep you waiting for a year. Ah yes, isn't Gin/Hitsu just so freakin wonderful?

Kuroi Kitty: Lookey Lookey, I updated! Thanks for reading!

Ah done! Sorry if there are typos in the review responses, I didn't get a chance to edit them. Ja!

Much Love,  
TillThatTime

**Child**

He looked down at the simple robes that they had given him to wear. His teal eyes scanned over the material as he took in the shock white that almost matched perfectly to his hair. They had given him no clean underwear to go along with the plain garment, and he wasn't sure if it had simply been forgotten or if this was just another one of Aizen's ploys for his own sadistic amusement. Something told Hitsugaya that it was the latter.

Easy access.

Hitsugaya couldn't suppress a shiver at the thought.

Though he was loathed to admit that he was virtually helpless, that didn't make him any less stubborn, and he'd be damned if that bastard got the better of him in that respect. No, he left his underwear on, despite them not being clean and he would leave them on as long as it took.

He sighed from his position on the firm mattress, his eyes leaving their scrutiny of his attire to look around the room, taking in its near emptiness, before his gaze settled on the door. There was no visible handle, and from where he sat it just looked like another plane of the white walls. Impossible to open from the inside, and probably code entry from the outside, he had been too out of it when Ichimaru had brought him in to take notice, but now he wished that he had paid a little more attention. Perhaps then he might have been able to figure out a way to get out of this place.

Even he had to suppress a snort at that thought.

He was in a sealed tight, reiatsu constricting room. Hyorinmaru was nowhere in sight, and he was weak from the wounds inflicted by the quinto espada. He had been defeated, completely and utterly defeated, and the only thing he had left to hang onto was his pride, and even that seemed to be dwindling.

He fell back slowly onto the mattress that he was currently occupying. His eyes squeezed tightly shut and he gritted his teeth as his muscles contracted painfully and he fought to relax them. Ichimaru had cleaned and treated his wounds, but that didn't mean that they were anywhere near being healed.

Ichimaru…

Hitsugaya emitted a low growl through his clenched teeth as the image of that man appear before his shut eyes. That manipulative bastard had done it again. Had made him feel small and helpless in the eyes of some vicious monster. Had made him beg and plead to not be undressed, to not be humiliated, to not be completely and thoroughly fucked. He had won again.

He always did…

Hitsugaya clenched the sheets under his fists as his memory reminded him of only moments ago when he had stood trembling and frightened like some blubbering…child. He could still feel Ichimaru's fingers as they had hooked into his underwear, could still feel the man's fingernails as they had scraped along the battered skin of his hips, could still feel his skin, scorching against his own cold flesh.

Ichimaru had wanted to jar him, to frighten him, to pick up where they had left off and play their little game that always left Hitsugaya feeling less than he was by the end. And Hitsugaya had played beautifully and pathetically into those hands. He had whimpered and cringed and…

Dammit!

But what else was he supposed to have done!? Allowed Ichimaru to rip away his clothes until he stood nude in front of the fox, standing upright and determined as if he still had his dignity left? Ichimaru had acted just as Hitsugaya should have suspected him to act. He had manipulated him cruelly and decisively as if Hitsugaya was a simple pawn in an elaborate game of shogi. And yet, when it came down to the end, when there had only been one thing left between them, he had…

…stopped.

And perhaps that is what angered Hitsugaya the most, the fact that no matter how hard he tried, he could never completely figure the bastard out. The tenth division taicho hated not knowing things, hated not understanding them, and Ichimaru was something that continued to confuse him, and no matter how much he insisted inside his own mind that Ichimaru was the enemy and that he shouldn't care that he couldn't figure him out, it bothered him nonetheless, and that was the one thing that he didn't dare try to understand why.

So Ichimaru had stopped when he could have gone all the way and stripped every last inch of pride that Hitsugaya fought viciously to hang onto, and instead of getting to hate the man like he longed to, instead of feeling that same burning desire to kill him as he did when it came to Aizen, he was left feeling relieved, almost grateful, and far more used than any harsh deflowering fuck could ever bring him to feel. And it sickened Hitsugaya to think that of all the things that Ichimaru had done, all the harm he had done to the home that he fought so hard for, that was the only thing that could really bring him to hate Ichimaru Gin, and even then it was a mutated and mocking version of an emotion that should be so clear.

Troubled by his thoughts, and a new throbbing in his head to accompany the rest of his aching body, he turned over abruptly onto his side, ignoring the pain that the action brought him. He stifled a groan as he pulled the crisp sheets over his head burying his face into the hard mattress, and cringing as the slightly rough material rubbed against the soft skin of his cheek. He wondered vaguely if doing this would help to block out his unwanted thoughts and if it was childish to hope so. It wasn't long before exhaustion made itself apparent and his features relaxed and his breathing deepened as he began to drift towards sleep, and not for the first time, Ichimaru Gin was the last thing he thought of before he surrendered himself completely.

The first thing he felt when he began to awaken from his slumber was warm fingers against the skin of his forehead. They ran almost teasingly through his hair before coming to cup his cheek, tilting his head slightly until he felt hot breath against the shell of his ear. He shivered slightly at the not-so-unpleasant sensation, and through his hazed mind he had to admit that the gentle hand felt quite nice, and he didn't stop himself as he nuzzled absentmindedly into the palm.

"Wakey wakey, Taicho-brat." A familiar voice crooned tauntingly into his ear and his eyes shot open automatically. Ichimaru's face was mere inches away from his own, and Hitsugaya felt the all too familiar sensation of a blush painting his cheeks. He quickly tried to squirm away from the former captain, but the task proved more painful than he had thought and he ended up landing heavily back on the mattress with a groan. "Careful there, 'ittle one. Hate fer ya ta open up yer cuts." Ichimaru said in that same sickeningly cheerful voice, his unwavering grin cracking his cheeks as usual.

"What the hell are you doing, Ichimaru?" Hitsugaya growled, attempting to swat away Ichimaru's hands which had continued their task of tracing along his face.

Ichimaru cocked his head to the side in mock thought, before reaching op and flicking Hitsugaya's nose and Hitsugaya had never wanted to bite someone's fingers off quite as much as he did at that moment, but viewing it as a very undignified thing to do, he held back from the urge and instead opted to glare death at the man's audacity.

"Jus' checkin' the wound on yer head there. I wouldn' want my pet dyin' on me, now would I?" Letting out a huff of rage, all tiredness completely gone, Hitsugaya raised his fist to punch the silver haired man, but his wrist was caught by slender fingers before he could even get close, and Hitsugaya found his arm soon pinned above his head and the long form of Ichimaru hovering over his body. "Now now, Shiro-chan, tha's not a very smart thin' ta do."

"I am not your fucking pet, Ichimaru." Hitsugaya spat out venomously, choosing to ignore the fact that Ichimaru was practically on top of him.

Ichimaru let out an amused chuckle at that. "Oh, ya really think not? Lemme make somethin' clear ta ya," Ichimaru leaned down until his breath was once more ghosting over the shell of Hitsugaya's ear and against his will the small taicho let out a gasp. "Only a pretty 'ittle bitch whimpers tha way that ya do."

Hitsugaya raised his free hand, pushing it roughly against Ichimaru's chest in an attempt to get the other man off of him, but Ichimaru merely grabbed onto that one as well, pinning it above Hitsugaya's head along with the other one. "Plus, ya make sucha good pet, the way ya nuzzled my hand jus' moments ago, like a kitty." Hitsugaya found his face growing hot once more at Ichimaru's words and the near purr in his voice. Ichimaru peered at him through unseen eyes as he took in the small taicho's red face, his grin widening. "Somethin' wrong, Neko-chan?

"Get the hell off of me, Ichimaru!" With renewed anger, Hitsugaya began to try to buck the fox like man off of him, not caring that he wasn't necessarily being dignified and only eager to get as far away from Ichimaru as possible. In his attempt to dislodge himself from the grinning man, he felt a searing pain in his side, and immediately stopped his violent struggle, letting out a small cry of anguish and reaching down to grip at his stomach. He let his green eyes travel down his torso until he saw the blood that was now seeping through his hand and spreading to stain his clean, white clothes. His eyes stayed wide in shock as he stared for a moment before turning his focus on Ichimaru. What he saw on the man's face was not what he expected. Ichimaru was not looking at him, but instead at the blood that was flowing between Hitsugaya's fingers. The grin was completely gone from his face as he continued to stare down at Hitsugaya's opened wound, and almost hesitantly he reached down to place his hand over Hitsugaya's own, pushing the white haired boy's palm harder against the wound. Hitsugaya stared at their combined hands in shock and he jumped when he heard Ichimaru's voice.

"Keep applyin' pressure." Ichimaru said softly before removing his hand and standing up from his position on the bed. Hitsugaya looked up at Ichimaru's face and noticed that as quickly as the smirk had gone, it was now back in place. "Naughty Neko, ya shoulda known better than ta struggle like that. Next time, I might jus' punish ya."

With that said he hoisted the small boy up into his arms, earning a startled and pained groan from Hitsugaya, followed by an enraged glare at the indignity of having someone as traitorous as Ichimaru actually carrying him. Ichimaru merely shrugged when he noted the scandalized look Hitsugaya was giving him. "Ya remember wha' tha alternative is, right?"

Hitsugaya turned his head away then so he at least wouldn't have to look at the man as he was carried out of the room. "Where are we going?" He inquired as Ichimaru made his way down the long hallway, he tried to ignore the way his stomach was beginning to turn, or the sticky sensation of blood covering his skin.

"I'm gonna feed ya ta tha Menos." Ichimaru answered simply and Hitsugaya turned his gaze sharply towards the other man, shock written clearly on his features. Ichimaru giggled merrily at the younger taicho's expression before continuing on down the hall.

Luckily, they didn't run into any arrancar on the way, and Hitsugaya was grateful, because he didn't want anyone to see him being lugged around, even if they were the enemy. It wasn't long before they entered into a room, this one being much larger than his own. It was crisp and clean, rather nice in all actuality, but at the same time, it was just as plain as everything else seemed to be Hueco Mundo. The bed in the center indicated that this was someone's sleeping quarters, and it really didn't take a genius to figure out whose.

"Why did you bring me here?" Hitsugaya asked suspiciously, momentarily forgetting the pain in his side, and instead opting to feel uncomfortable for an entirely different reason.

"I thought it would be mo' private." Ichimaru said with an unmistakable leer, and Hitsugaya couldn't help but shiver at the implication of those words.

"Look, you bastard, whatever you think you're going-"

"Do shut up now, Snowy-chan." Without really thinking about, Hitsugaya's mouth snapped shut at Ichimaru's words and instead he continued to glower at the man. That was until Ichimaru opened another door and they stepped into what appeared to be a very shiny bathroom. Hitsugaya was then deposited almost carefully onto the floor, his hand still clutching at his side. "Lemme see." Ichimaru ordered, and he didn't really even wait for Hitsugaya to remove his hand before pulling it away himself. "Tsk tsk, look wha' ya did." Ichimaru scolded, feigning disappointment. "Ya got yer new clothes all bloody. Wha' would Aizen-sama say?"

"I don't give a damn what Aizen-_sama_ says." Hitsugaya sneered, attempting to take a step back from Ichimaru, only to find himself held in place.

"S' impolite. Ya really need ta work on that." Ichimaru told him, though he gave no real implication that Hitsugaya's 'rudeness' bothered him at all. Ichimaru turned away from him then and headed towards the bath at the end of the chamber. It was a personal one, much like the one he had had in his own private quarters in Seireitei. Ichimaru turned on the faucet and Hitsugaya watched in a sort of daze as water began to fill the tub, he also noted that Ichimaru threw in a substance that made bubbles spread over the surface. He continued staring until Ichimaru's voice brought him back to attention.

"Git undressed, and git in the tub. I'll be back in minute ta help ya wash. Ya stink, Taicho-brat. And hurry up, 'o I may jus' have ta throw ya in myself." With that he stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him, but not before throwing out "I thought a kiddy like ya would like tha bubbles." he left Hitsugaya staring after him. It only took a moment for Ichimaru's words to register in his shocked mind before he began to peel away his clothes as fast he could, not knowing when Ichimaru would decide to waltz back in. By the time he got the now soiled clothes off, and had hesitantly stepped out of his underwear, he noticed that the wound was not bleeding near as much as he had first thought. He walked unsteadily over to the edge of the bath and with a grunt he swung his legs inside, letting them sink under the water, before maneuvering his body over the edge as well. He slowly began to lower himself when he noted that the water was almost scalding hot.

"Itai." He hissed as he continued to sink further into the water.

"Hot?" He turned sharply at the sudden sound of Ichimaru's voice, and accidentally ended up slipping the rest of the way in, a startled gasp emitting from his lips at the heat of the water and Ichimaru's sudden appearance.

"Bastard." Hitsugaya seethed once he had adjusted somewhat to the water.

Ichimaru's smile only widened at the harsh retort. "Child." He shot back, knowing that to the icy taicho, that was the cruelest insult there was.

Hitsugaya's eyes widened momentarily and then quickly narrowed at the word. "I am not a child!"

Ichimaru threw his head back, his silver bangs falling away from his eyes as he laughed loudly. He stepped towards Hitsugaya, kneeling behind the boy's back, his fingers coming to trail lightly along his neck, causing Hitsugaya to flinch away before he closed his fingers around his neck completely, warning him silently not to move. "Ya know, _kid_, an adult wouldn' feel tha need ta defend themselves s' much." Hitsugaya shivered despite the heat as he felt Ichimaru's breath ghost along the back of his neck. When he felt the hand loosen he jerked away immediately.

"Don't touch me, dammit! And don't you dare speak to me as if you know anything about me." Hitsugaya hissed, his voice barely above a whisper and betraying that fact that he wanted to pretend like those words didn't effect him at all.

"Oh no, but I know ya better than anybody else, 'ittle one." Ichimaru said softly, before producing a cloth from seemingly out of nowhere, soaking it in the water and then trailing it lightly over the skin of Hitsugaya's exposed shoulder, and smirking when the boy's body went rigged but for some reason didn't pull away. "It really bothers ya, don't it? Ta have worked s' hard and then ta not be seen as anything mo' than a mere baby." Ichimaru whispered, his voice dangerously close to Hitsugaya's ear, and between the gentle strokes of the cloth and the heat of Ichimaru's words, Hitsugaya's eyes fluttered closed, but he still hung onto every word that was being said to him. "Ya want their respect, their admiration. Ya want them ta bend over an' kiss yer pretty 'ittle toes, until they realize yer worth and see ya fer the man ya think ya are." Ichimaru's lips were so close to the skin of his neck that he could feel them move against him as he spoke, and he didn't even notice as he slightly tilted his head to the side. "But ya will always be, 'ittle Shiro-chan ta them and ya know it. But here's tha real kicker, if ya can't even convince them that yer no kid, how will ya ever convince yerself?"

Hitsugaya's eyes flew open at those words and he once more jerked himself away from Ichimaru's touch. He knew the man was right, and Gods he hated him for it. He knew that their denial of his maturity made him sometimes disbelieve it himself. He knew that there were times when he caught lesser shinigami looking at him like a piece of meat and he wondered why they would look at a child that way. Those thoughts were always fleeting, he always caught them before the progressed, but they were still there.

He clenched his fists as his sides as he spoke in a low voice. "And you, Ichimaru? What do you see me as?" Ichimaru didn't even seem to have to think of his answer and even though Hitsugaya wasn't looking at his face, he knew that smile was ever present, ever cruel, ever knowing.

"Why that's easy, Neko. I see ya as innocence. Pure an' pretty. Jus' something else ta break an' watch as the infection spreads." He heard Ichimaru stand behind him, and he didn't even turn as he heard the retreating footsteps. "Hurry up an' finish, then I'll re-dress yer wounds…child."

The door clicked shut.


	6. White

**Disclaimer:: **I only own the plot.

**A/N**: Hello my lovely readers, I missed you! Alright  
then, I just wanted to point out that at the beginning of this chapter Shiro-chan complains a bit, but the whole problem is on a much deeper psychological level that has been running around in my mind, that I may or may not delve further into in later chapters. So, I just wanted to point that out so you didn't think Hitsu was being a drama queen and bitching about his hair. Also, sorry to all Nnoitra fans for this chapter. I don't hate him, he's just easy to put into this roll. On a side note, just to share some useless bit of information with you all, one of the reasons why I work so hard to keep them IC is because Hitsugaya and Ichimaru are my favorite characters. Though I go back and forth on who is my favorite, sometimes they duke it out for first place and I have to scold them and remind them that there is much better ways of taking out their aggression.

Awww, Hitsu-chan is such an adorable little "fuck me" bunny.

To my reviewers, thank you all so much, I can't address you personally for lack of time at the moment but I promise that I will make up for it in the next chapter! You all rock so much!

Ja ne!

TillThatTime

* * *

_White_

His petite fingers traced idly over the white gauze that was wrapped snuggly over his stomach and other various parts of his body where bruises and cuts made themselves apparent. Enough layers of the gauze had been wrapped around his lithe frame that no spots of blood could be seen. The material was purely white, like his ruined hatori used to be, like his hair was once more after being washed clean of the blood and grime that had caked and caught and tangled in his spiked locks.

His hair…he _hated_ his hair.

It drew more attention in its unusualness then Hitsugaya would have liked. No, he didn't like attention in the first place, but if people were going to notice him he wanted it to be because of his talent, because they looked up to him…or at least on the same level as him. Instead people noticed the hair.

They would come up to him, stare down at him, and ask him if he dyed it that way. Or if he was born an albino. Or other idiotic and presumptuous questions that really were none of their business in the first place. He would never answer, just glare in response and walk away with as much dignity as he could…always, always feeling their downcast eyes watching his retreating back. He didn't care if they called him an icy little bastard behind his back while calling him taicho to his face.

He didn't care.

It was none of their business.

He could remember on several occasions when Matsumoto would lay her large breasts on his head, swishing them slightly back in forth, creating a type of static electricity and frizzing his hair. Or how when they were living together as young kids and even after he adorned the white haori that indicated that he had surpassed her, that he out-ranked her, Hinamori would often reach out a delicate hand and ruffle her fingers through his hair.

Then in the darker places of his mind, he could remember those names that Ichimaru used to call him. The way he would chuckle out a taunting "snowy-chan" before reaching out to tangle his long fingers into his hair, sometimes just smoothing out the disarray, other times making it more chaotic and unorganized then usual. And sometimes pulling and yanking…not enough to hurt, but enough to make him glare death upon the man, which always ended with an amused giggle, and sometimes the words, "Oh, but ya hav' such pretty hair."

And…

Bastard…_that bastard!_

Dammit, he hated his hair!

It was only then that he realized the grip he had on his hair. It was only then that he realized how hard he was pulling, or the fact that some strands had already broke and ripped away under the strain. He closed his eyes, letting out a long and calming sigh before pulling his hand away from his hair, noticing some white strands still caught on his fingers. He felt ashamed for his actions, for letting something so minor have such a great affect on him.

After all, white was something he could not escape. It seemed to be everywhere, marking everything. It was revered as such a pure color and yet it taunted him. Even as he looked around the room, or for that matter, the entirety of Hueco Mundo, practically everything was white, from the walls, to the sand, to the outfits that everyone wore. Perhaps there was something ironic about the fact that the shinigami, the good guys, wore black, while the enemies, the monsters, wore white. Such a clean color hiding something so dark.

Yes, he hated the color white.

He always had.

It seemed to touch everything he was, from his physical appearance, to the snow and ice he wielded, to the captain's robe he wore, to the way people viewed him, perceived him, his heart, body and soul. Everything covering him, drowning him in a foul sea of white in which there was no escape.

You're pure, you're clean, you're innocent, you're white.

_"Why that's easy, Neko. I see ya as innocence. Pure an' pretty. Jus' something else ta break an' watch as the infection spreads."_

"Dammit!" He growled out, slamming his fist on the wall beside him, breathing heavily, trying desperately to calm himself as his mind jumped to Ichimaru against his will. He wouldn't admit that Ichimaru had started this, but he could admit that the man was the reason that he thought so much on the topic. Back in Seireitei he could suppress these unwanted thoughts. He didn't have to acknowledge them if he didn't want to, didn't have to believe every suspicion, every worry, every accusation that people, including himself, held for him. But here, in this hell, he could not escape it, and Ichimaru seemed to love to help along his thought process, seemed to love to point out every flaw and play on every insecurity. He was such a crafty man, the way his words fell from his mouth as easily and as soft as feathers, but as sharp as knifes.

Hitsugaya thought briefly to only a couple of hours ago when Ichimaru had brought him back to this room, his room, after re-dressing his wounds. He had sat him on the bed, and turned away from him without a second thought, only pausing before stepping out the door to say in his usual sing-song voice, "Scream fer me if ya git scared, I'll come rock ya ta sleep like a babe, and keep tha nightmares away."

Those words should have been so simple, so direct, but they were lewd, almost cruel and Ichimaru knew the affect they had on Hitsugaya, knew how to play him better than anyone else.

_"Oh no, but I know ya better than anybody else, 'ittle one."_

And perhaps that was true. Perhaps his enemy, a person that he was supposed to despise, supposed to eliminate, knew him better than anyone else. Better than Hinamori, better than Matsumoto. Maybe even better than himself, because in the end Ichimaru was not afraid to point out all the things that Hitsugaya knew but dreaded to admit.

Pulling him abruptly from his thoughts, there was the click of the lock opening on his door, and his head shot towards the entrance to his room in surprise. His eyes widened as a tall figure entered the room, crouching slightly as not to hit his head against the door frame. There was that grin, the one that seemed almost reminiscent of another's yet it did not provoke the same reactions.

He felt dull panic begin to seep throughout the entirety of his body. He was trapped in this room, with no means to protect himself and no reiatsu to begin with. He was small, defenseless and like a caged animal with this predator of a man. He did not have a very good feeling about this at all.

However, he refused to let any signs of worry show on his face. He'd be damned before he let this man see that he had any power over him. So instead he schooled his features into a glare of annoyance that clearly said "fuck you."

"What the hell are you doing here?" He baked out, never breaking the stare he held with the one eye that was visible to him.

The other just merely looked at him with an expression akin to sadistic delight before speaking smoothly. "I just wasn't sure if I ever got to introduce myself properly, I'm-"

"Jiruga Nnoitra." Hitsugaya answered blandly, not even letting the arrancar finish. "The fifth espada in that bastard traitor Aizen's army. I know who you are, I don't need to be reminded." Hitsugaya finished off coldly, holding true to his reputation. "That still doesn't tell me what the hell you are doing here."

If possible that smile only grew wider and Hitsugaya found himself silently cursing bastards who took pleasure in seeing him riled up. "Well, you see, Hitsugaya-taicho, I don't think it's very fair that Ichimaru gets to stake claim over something that I captured." Nnoitra stated, before taking a step closer to where Hitsugaya sat perched on his bed, and the white haired boy unconsciously scooted back.

"Don't you dare speak of me like I'm just some object!" Hitsugaya spat, feeling anger beginning to boil up in his gut.

"Oh no, I wouldn't dream of it." The espada agreed almost sweetly. "A mere object would not scream the way that I hope you do."

Hitsugaya felt his blood run even colder at the implication in those words, and the panic that had once been a dull thudding, was now very real. "Get out."

"I don't think so. See, since our little battle I've had a craving to see what you would look like covered in blood once more." Hitsugaya felt shivers run down his spine at the way that Nnoitra's tone stayed completely pleasant, despite the words he said. Nnoitra took another step towards him and Hitsugaya nearly jumped when his back hit the wall, and he registered with a slight pang of horror that there was nowhere else to go.

He was trapped.

"I've wondered what it would be like to have your pretty legs wrapped around me as you scream." Nnoitra was by this point standing over him, and the espada leaned down so his palm could rest against the wall by Hitsugaya's head. The position was awkward but Hitsugaya paid it no mind at the moment. He could feel the fifth espada's breath on his face and he fought against the urge to squeeze his eyes tight against reality. Never in his life had he felt so helpless.

"Get away from me!"

Nnoitra didn't even acknowledge the demand as he continued, seemingly lost in his own train of thought. "It's not fair that Ichimaru gets to fuck you himself, gets to pound into that virgin ass. And don't tell me you're not a virgin, Hitsugaya-kun, you reek of innocence. So why should Ichimaru get to keep that all to himself, I wonder. He should really learn to share." And with that the espada pounced and Hitsugaya found himself trapped against that heavy body weight, his arms pinned once more over his head, his wrists held together by one long fingered hand.

"No, stop! Stop!" Hitsugaya cried out, struggling desperately against the other male. Twisting his body in an attempt to free himself, and the action only caused him to brush against something, and he froze immediately once he registered that it was Nnoitra erection rubbing against his leg. "Oh gods…" he whispered in sheer terror and he blanched when Nnoitra laughed cruelly above him.

"You feel it don't you? Can't you imagine the things I could do to you with it?" Nnoitra thrust his hips down for emphasis and Hitsugaya began to struggle once more.

"Gods, no, I don't want this. Stop!" Hitsugaya tried desperately to get through to the arrancar, but upon looking up and seeing the wide grin, he knew that the hope for that was lost.

"Do you think I really care what you want or don't want? Oh, but please keep begging anyways, tenth division taicho." Nnoitra used his other hand to rake roughly through Hitsugaya's hair, causing small cry of pain to emit from the boy beneath him. "You have such pretty white hair." Nnoitra mumbled huskily before leaning down to burry his nose in Hitsugaya's hair while his free hand ran roughly along his neck, leaving scratches in its wake. That long, bony hand quickly abandoned its task and without any form of warning the arrancar reached between them to cup his groin fully through his thin pants. He let out a sharp cry of panic, much louder than the ones before and against his will he felt tears prickling at the corner of his eyes, something that had not happened in as long as he could remember. He felt outraged for letting it happen, for not being able to stop it.

No. No! This wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this, never like this! Where was_ he?_ He surely wouldn't actually allow this to happen. Where was Ichimaru!?

"Ichimaru!" He hadn't even registered that he had called out, only when Nnoitra paused in his ministrations to give him a quizzical look, did he actually realize what he had said, who he had called out for.

"Heh, whatcha calling him for? It's not like he's gonna-"

"Yer not playin' very nice, Nnoitra." A smooth, accented voice sounded from behind them and they both turned their attention towards the voice in surprise.

There in the doorway stood Ichimaru Gin, face as fox-like as ever and hands clasped together at his waist as he eyed the display in front of him in an almost bored fashion. "Now, if ya don' mind, I would like ya ta take yer hands off of what's mine." Ichimaru stated pleasantly. Hitsugaya almost had to bite his tongue to keep from saying that he didn't belong to anybody, he realized that probably wouldn't be the best thing to do considering what Ichimaru was doing for him.

Nnoitra sneered at him then, his expression clearly defiant even as he got off of Hitsugaya and straightened completely.

"I don't see why you should get to have all the fun, Ichimaru. You don't even use him properly. It isn't hard to tell that you haven't taken him yet. So, why don't you give him to someone who could put him to better use." Nnoitra slinked towards Ichimaru until they were standing only a few inches apart from each other and for a moment Hitsugaya had to marvel at how even someone as tall as Ichimaru had to look up into Nnoitra's face.

"An' I don' see how wha' I do with 'im is any o' yer business. Now, I'll kindly ask ya ta leave." Ichimaru stated, pointing one elegantly pale finger towards the door, adding as if it were only a side note "Oh, an' if ya touch 'im again, I'll kill ya."

Nnoitra only smiled at the words, his one visible eye challenging. "I doubt that you could, Ichimaru-sama, and even if you could, I don't think Aizen-sama would be too happy with you."

Perhaps it was the way they both spoke when addressing the other, their tones unwaveringly polite and pleasant, while their reiatsus flared dangerously against each other, but Hitsugaya felt as if he was suffocating, even though their attention was nowhere near focused on him at the moment.

"Do ya honestly think that Aizen-sama cares wha' happens ta ya? Yer jus' an insignificant pawn in a much mo' important game. Ya would do best not ta think otherwise."

Nnoitra let out a chuckle at those words, the tone harsh to Hitsugaya's ears. "What does that make you, Ichimaru? Do you really think that you're any different? Or is that your mistake as well?" With that Nnoitra brushed passed Ichimaru, but before he stepped out the door, their eyes connected once more. In that one second, in that one moment of eye contact, all hints of a grin vanished and they glared coldly at each other, their faces only for a mere instant showing the battle that their reiatsus were currently waging.

It was terrifying to know that these men could destroy each other without a second thought.

As the door clicked shut, Ichimaru finally turned his attention completely towards Hitsugaya, and without so much as a warning he closed the distance between them and hauled the startled captain into his lap.

"Yer shakin'." Ichimaru commented rather bluntly. Pulling the still trembling boy firmly to rest against his chest.

"Put me down, idiot." Hitsugaya snapped, but without the same desperation that he had shown moments ago, and he didn't even want to think about why.

"Naw, don' wanna." Was Ichimaru's answer before slender fingers wrapped themselves around Hitsugaya's chin, tilting his head slightly to the side, exposing his slender neck to Ichimaru. "He scratched ya." Another blunt comment, before Ichimaru leaned down swiftly and without warning grazed his tongue along the broken skin, causing Hitsugaya to hiss, shiver and jump all at the same time, which in turn caused Ichimaru to giggle against his skin.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing!?" Hitsugaya questioned, squirming in Ichimaru's lap.

Ichimaru gave him an innocent look before answering. "I'm cleanin' yer cut."

"Well, stop it!" Hitsugaya insisted moving his head away from any future attack, and yet even as he protested against Ichimaru's ministrations, he wondered why he continued to sit on his lap.

"Heh, yer not shakin no mo' though. See, I told ya I'd come keep tha nightmares away." Ichimaru teased lightly and Hitsugaya couldn't help but roll his eyes. It was strange to think on how indebted he was to Ichimaru now.

"Ichimaru, for earlier, I…well, thank you." Hitsugaya said almost grudgingly, turning away as his cheeks heated in a blush.

Ichimaru reached up a hand and flicked him on the back of the head. "I told ya not ta thank me."

Hitsugaya let out an annoyed sigh, even as his eyes drooped slightly as that hand rested on his head and began to run idly through his hair.

"I know, you're not my friend." Hitsugaya agreed, slightly pissed that the hand in his hair actually felt soothing in a way.

"No, I'm not." Ichimaru confirmed with a wide grin as Hitsugaya relaxed unintentionally in his arms. "Mah mah, such soft hair."

Hitsugaya growled softly as his eyes closed completely.

Yes, he hated his hair.


	7. Temptation

**  
Disclaimer: I only own the plot.  
**

**A/N:** Yay! New chapter! Excited? I hope so. Oh, this story was recommended on somebody's blog thingy and damn, that's a great feeling. I'm such a praise-grubbing nerd.

Special thanks to:

PureWhiteRose  
DoYouFindMeDreadful  
fan girl 666  
sapphirepheonix97  
Kuroi Kitty  
Shirou08  
Thistle  
animelover143  
TheGreatMillz33  
AmethystSight  
Kristine93  
Sei no Baka  
Vixen-Ra  
Sakura-Moonlight  
monkeygurl13  
fgfgghhyjuhhh  
Shiho

I am so so sorry for the lack of personal response, but I am really pressed for time, but I promise that I will try very hard to get back to the personalized review responses. And please don't think your reviews mean any less to me. I appreciate each and every one. Though the mental image that Vixen-Ra provided of Dog!Nnoitra had me cracking up. Anyways, love you guys!

TillthatTime

* * *

_**Temptation**_

He held the small bundle loosely in his arms, his expression as sly as ever as he ran his fingers repeatedly through now untangled white hair and watched as the chest below him rose and fell in even breaths. Even when he was alone, even when there was no one there to see, his expression remained the same.

Same slitted eyes.

Same wide, almost cruel, smile.

Same covertness that had long since lost its importance in the now closed eyes of the only other occupant in the room.

Perhaps there was some comfort in keeping up a tired charade in the face of nothingness.

Yet, Ichimaru really had no mind for such things. So as vacant as the kindness in his smile was, so were his thoughts on the matter.

He wasn't sure how long they had been sitting like this, with the icy taicho on his lap, his face relaxed and void of the usual scowl that adorned his pretty features. In all reality it was probably only half an hour, but Ichimaru had nowhere in particular that he wanted, nor needed, to be, so at the moment time held no significance for him.

Hitsugaya shifted slightly in his arms and Ichimaru paused in his ministrations as the little taicho's face fell into an annoyed frown and he mumbled something that vaguely resembled "Guh…tha's Hitsugaya-taicho t' juu…" before his expression calmed once more and he turned his cheek to rub unconsciously against Ichimaru's chest.

Ichimaru let out a small snicker at the chibi's actions. If Hitsugaya could see himself at the moment Ichimaru would finally have proof that it was indeed possible to drop dead from horrific embarrassment. Actually, it probably would be very entertaining to witness and Ichimaru debated silently with himself on whether or not to poke the sleeping boy into awareness.

In the end he opted on continuing his task of running his fingers through the pure white hair and mussing it into a disarray that he found so sickeningly adorable. In all truth, he found the disdain that Hitsugaya held for his hair to be quite amusing. Whether it was because of the color, the way it refused to be tamed, or the fact that it drew so much attention, Ichimaru  
wasn't sure, perhaps it was a combination of all three, but no matter the reason, the hatred the boy felt for it was apparent. Well, it probably wasn't as apparent to others as it was to him, but he was always better at seeing and understanding things more then others were. It was that talent that got him where he was in the first place. To be able to deceive properly you first must know the person you are deceiving.

And Ichimaru knew Hitsugaya. Of all the things he had lied about in his lifetime, this was not one of those things.

It was so easy for Ichimaru to see the uncertainty that was brought when people cooed and worried over him. It was so simple to understand the anger that soon followed hotly behind the uncertainty. Unseen eyes that saw better than most witnessed the grimace, the sneer, the frown, and the cold glare that meant more than simple annoyance as the harmfully unaware fingers of those who were beneath the young taicho threaded and kneaded and ruffled through his hair. A gesture of affection that only brought shame and it was deliciously clear to Ichimaru.

Perhaps that was the reason why he so often ran his own fingers through that hair, why he played so inconspicuously on the issue. He knew that the slightest bit of attention that those white locks brought was just another chip broken off of Hitsugaya's strong façade. The psychological connection that Hitsugaya held between his hair and his strength was much more deeper than what was seen at face value, and Ichimaru delighted in being the one to twist that line between his own finger much like he did to those white strands of hair, and in the end whether or not the breakdown made Hitsugaya stronger or destroyed him, it would be Ichimaru to sweep up the broken pieces with that ever present grin on his face.

And the thought of anyone else doing it in his place brought on a very strange sensation indeed. He thought to nearly an hour before when he had been making his way towards his little captive's room and he had felt it, that tingling sensation that told him that something was wrong and it had only been confirmed when he had heard that sweet and sour voice calling out in desperation, calling out his name, the tone high and strained with unconcealed panic. He had used shunpo the rest of the way to the reiatsu blocking room, and the sight that had greeted him had made his fox smile falter. He saw the flailing brat with one leg trapped helplessly beneath another's body while the other one was awkwardly spread wide. His hands restrained securely above his head by long, pale fingers that were not his own. His eyes screwed shut, tears running down his cheeks to catch on tight lips, and a hand cupping him, rubbing harshly at his young and unwilling cock. All of these things had burned themselves vividly into his mind and with it had come a cold feeling that he only knew well enough to be able to recognize it; fury. It hadn't been that intense and uncontrollable sensation that he had heard others describe it as. It had been ice cold, calm and collective, but it had been there. And even now, as he sat there with the boy in his arms and not someone else's, that feeling was there below the surface and he could easily slit Nnoitra's throat and watch the crimson tide that followed without a blink of an eye. And he would revel in that blood on his hands, muse over the fact that blood would be the only thing beautiful to come from the espada.

He chuckled at the dark thoughts. What interesting images possessiveness brought. It was very strangle indeed. "Scary, scary…" He snickered, effectively causing Hitsugaya to stir.

He peered down and watched in silence as Hitsugaya slowly came into awareness. First he shifted slightly, his butt rubbing unconsciously against Ichimaru's legs, which the silver haired man couldn't help but grin wolfishly at. Then one teal eye opened hesitantly, followed by the other to squint around the white room. Then suddenly that tiny body stiffened, and ever so slowly Hitsugaya turned his head to face him.

_3, 2, 1_

Those beautiful eyes shot open comically wide.

"What the hell, Ichimaru?!" Hitsugaya immediately began to struggle but Ichimaru just tightened his grip, effectively pinning Hitsugaya's back to his chest.

"I didn' see ya complainin' a minute ago." Ichimaru said in a mock hurt voice, though his amusement was clearly evident.

"Bakayaro, that's because I was unconscious!" Hitsugaya growled, trying in vain to dig his elbow into Ichimaru's gut.

"Ne, be careful Shiro-chan, yer words might jus' hurt me." Ichimaru warned with a small giggle, finding the situation to be delightfully entertaining.

"If only." Hitsugaya bit out as a feeling of helplessness washed over him at the realization that once again without any reiatsu he was just in the body of a child, fighting against a grown man.

Suddenly Ichimaru's hand shot up to grasp his chin, his grip only firm enough to serve as a warning, and Hitsugaya felt his head being turned and thin lips coming to rest against the shell of his ear. "Is that any way ta treat someone who jus' saved ya from bein' fucked an' deflowered brutally into a mattress?"

Hitsugaya emitted a small gasp and his body went limp as Ichimaru confirmed something that his mind had been trying to block out for the past few minutes.

Only once Hitsugaya stopped struggling did Ichimaru finally let go of him. Hitsugaya slowly rose from his position on the older man's lap and took a few staggering steps forward before his arms rose and his palms rested on the wall in front of him and he carefully rested his forehead against the cool surface as well. His legs trembled at the memory and his fists clenched abruptly in anger.

"How dare he…how could he…?" He began, but wasn't able to form the words completely.

He didn't even notice that Ichimaru had moved until there was a warm body very close to his back. His breath caught in his throat as two hands reached forward to rest on either side above his head, and slowly, almost sensually, those hands slid down until they rested atop Hitsugaya's own fists. They worked carefully to open his clenched fingers until both his and Ichimaru's palms were pressed flat against the surface of the wall. Ichimaru's hands remained astride his own, and not once did Hitsugaya make a move, his eyes content to watch in a sort of daze as he felt even breathing of the chest pressed against him and the warm breath puffing against the top of his head.

"Tha answer is simple, Neko. Tha way ya look, tha way ya smell, like clean an' pretty innocence that is so hard ta come by in this place." And suddenly one of those hands had abandoned its place atop his own and traveled up his arm, to trace deceptively gentle fingers along his neck, before sliding down his back in an exquisite fashion that had Hitsugaya clenching his eyes shut, until finally it stopped on the curve of his hip.

"Please, Ichimaru…" Hitsugaya began, repeating over and over in his mind that he only wanted Ichimaru to stop.

"That way ya beg. Don' ya know that all tha 'please stops' an' tha 'God nos' only make them wanna fuck ya harder and faster, jus' ta see yer pretty mouth open in a scream? We are not good men, Shiro-chan an' this is not a good world. How many times mus' I tell ya? Innocence like ya is only meant ta be broken in a place like this." Soon that other hand had joined its partner in resting on Hitsugaya's slender hips and they were inching forward, tracing soothing circles on the tender skin on the inside of his hips, and Hitsugaya couldn't help but wonder at Ichimaru's ability to be so gentle as pure venom slipped unabashedly from his lips.

"Stop, I don't want this." Hitsugaya whispered as one of those hands slid along the smooth skin of his cloth covered stomach, a finger tracing over the bellybutton that Ichimaru could feel just under the thin fabric. How many times had he said those words? He couldn't remember.

Ichimaru leaned down in what for anyone else would have been an awkward position and Hitsugaya could distinctly feel the upward turn of the lips that now rested lightly on the skin of his nape. He shuddered, and pleaded that it was in disgust. "Convince yerself first before ya try ta convince me." The same hand that had been resting on his stomach moved upwards, the palm lingering to run lightly over one already pebbling nipple before sliding up the column pf his throat until the tips of long bony fingers were tracing the outline of his lips, and he stood frozen in a combination of anger and something else that only brought terror.

"My mind does not want this." Hitsugaya tried to say it more firmly, but it sounded weak as his breathing became harsh as he noticed the way those fingers moved against his lips as he spoke.

"I don' think ya even believe that one." Ichimaru said simply, before his fingers dipped inside Hitsugaya's slightly parted mouth and he felt the brief touch of a slick and soft tongue before teeth were clamping down hard on his intrusive digits. He pried his fingers away, noticing with a slight giggle the purplish indentions that Hitsugaya's teeth left on the tips of his fingers.

Hitsugaya's head was once more leaning against the wall in front of him and he panted as his mind tried to work through the haze of rage and what he couldn't describe as anything else but arousal, and figure out why in the hell he had let Ichimaru touch him that way without putting up even a little bit of a fight. This wasn't like him at all. What the hell was he doing?!

His fist clenched once more and he slammed it into the wall.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit! Why do you have to touch me like that!?" He cried out, his voice already rasped from anger and tears and lust. Hands were on his hips once more and he was suddenly being spun almost violently around, his back now pressed against the wall, and Ichimaru holding him firmly in place, not only with his hands but the expression on his face as well. The intensity threatened to drown him.

"Don' be naïve, Chibi. My intentions are not nearly as pure as ya wish them ta be." Then Ichimaru was leaning down once more, only this time they were face to face, and Hitsugaya didn't, couldn't, break the eye contact he held as those thin lips came closer and closer to his own. It was only when they were a hair's breath away and Hitsugaya was trembling from fear, anticipation, and the urge to run for it, that Ichimaru spoke once more. "Even though ya won' admit it, ya cant hide it from me. Tha thought of someone touch ya, kissin' ya, fuckin' ya, scares tha piss outta ya, but at any moment o' any day, ya'd rather it be me then anybody else. Am I righ', Hitsugaya-taicho?" Before Hitsugaya could respond, before he could tell Ichimaru that no, he wasn't fucking right, chapped lips were pressed against his own. Hitsugaya's eyes went wide and his hands snaked upwards and wrapped themselves in Ichimaru's hakama in a feeble attempt to push the other away, but his fingers caught in the fabric as hands tightened on his hips, causing him to gasp out in pain and a clever and hot tongue to slither its way into his mouth.

And…

And…

Dammit, he couldn't think! He couldn't comprehend the completely new experience as the tongue flicked devilishly against his own before running over the sensitive skin at the top of his mouth, causing his knees to buckle and a groan to sound clearly from his throat.

His face heated as Ichimaru chuckled between their parted lips, and just as Hitsugaya contemplated biting down in retaliation, that tongue ran teasingly one last time over his own nonparticipating one before retreating fully, leaving Ichimaru to nip tauntingly at his bruised bottom lip before pulling away completely.

Ichimaru studied him for a minute while all Hitsugaya could do was pant and glare up at him in indignation.

"That's that first thing I'll steal from ya, Shiro. By the end yer gonna give everythin' willingly." Then Ichimaru was turning gracefully and leaving Hitsugaya alone in the room to wonder why everything felt so much emptier once the door had clicked shut. 


	8. Responsive

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. Don't sue.

**A/N:** I'm sorry about how late this is, but I've had a lot of stuff going on, so please forgive me. I'm exhausted at the moment but I will write the personal responses to reviews in the morning, so check back ok? I really hope you guys enjoy this!

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**Responsive**

He glared icily from his position on the bed at the door to "his" room, wishing silently for it to either burst into pieces so he could get out of this hellhole infested with groping perverts, or freeze over so at least said perverts wouldn't be able to get in. Neither seemed very likely to happen but Hitsugaya sure as hell tried anyways.

After several minutes of no change whatsoever in the door's appearance, Hitsugaya flopped back onto his mattress, wincing slightly as pain hummed through his system. The wounds left from his first encounter with the quinto espada still made themselves known, the restraining of his reiatsu causing the wounds to heal at a slower rate then they normally would.

He ignored the pain and huffed in irritation as he turned over onto his side. Hitsugaya usually appreciated solitude, but the complete lack of communication with someone other than Ichimaru was beginning to take its toll on him. He almost wished for the sound of Matsumoto's overly cheerful voice and the feeling of her breasts plastering his hair to his head.

He felt his cheeks heat at that thought, and he cleared his throat in embarrassment despite the fact that no one was there.

Not for the first time, he wondered where Kurosaki and the others were, he hadn't run into them when he had infiltrated Hueco Mundo, but they were supposed to be here, were they not? Perhaps they had already retrieved Inoue-san and were back where they rightfully belong, or perhaps…

The latter was not really a conclusion that he liked to think about, but he couldn't really rule out the possibility of it being true. After all, they had brashly barged into unknown enemy territory. The odds had never really been in their favor in the first place, but Kurosaki was strong, and so were the others, and though he wasn't likely to admit it aloud, Hitsugaya respected them enough not to jump to any permanent conclusions.

Still, perhaps they were being held captive like he was. Locked in a tiny room, or cell, prisoners of this war that they had been forced into, led on one side by a self-righteous betrayer and on the other, by the people who were betrayed. Everyone else seemed to fall somewhere in the middle, fighting for reasons that kept black and white blurred beyond comprehension.

Alone in this room, without the annoyance of another voice, left too much time to think. Usually, he had to fight for some free time to sort out all of his thoughts, now he only wished to stop thinking. The hours that passed endlessly seemed to bring on questions that he had thought that he already knew the answer to, but the more he wondered, the more that doubt filled his mind.

And even worse, if he wasn't thinking about Aizen, Seireitei, and the upcoming winter war, he was thinking about the feel of thin lips pressed against his own, and bony fingers tracing and marring the skin of his hips.

With a small squeak of embarrassment and outrage Hitsugaya turned to bury his face in his pillow, noting now that the color of his skin must be verging on the same shade as the watermelons that he was so fond of.

It was ridiculous and appalling, really. He knew that he shouldn't have been surprised by Ichimaru's actions. Actually he should have expect that man to do something sooner than he had, rather then wait so long. Maybe that would have made things easier, if Ichimaru would have just took what Hitsugaya knew he wanted from the very beginning, forcefully, painfully, instead of coaxingly and patiently. Maybe then things would have been easier to understand, less complicated, and Hitsugaya could have drawn the line distinctly between what he wanted and what he hated, drawn it clearly between Ichimaru and himself. But that wasn't the case, and now the situation was shaded in the same gray that everything else seemed to be, and Hitsugaya, though he cringed at the thought, almost missed the color white, because at least then everything had made sense and the ground he had stood on had been level, unmoving, and strong.

Now he was unsure on his own two feet…and he hated it.

It wasn't just simply the fact that Ichimaru had stolen his first kiss from him- well, it wasn't really his first kiss, there had been that one time he had grabbed Hinamori's face and smacked his lips against hers out of some strange curiosity he'd held, but that had been an entirely different sensation that had left him feeling very platonic towards his adoptive sister- or the fact that he could still feel the man's fingertips imprinted on his skin, as if they had been permanently burned there. It wasn't even the way Ichimaru had forced and drawn that gasp from his lips or that grasp of his own fingers. No, the thing that really left Hitsugaya reeling was the things Ichimaru had said.

__

"By the end yer gonna give everythin' willingly."

In that moment, with that same calm and cool confidence that Ichimaru always seemed to possess, Ichimaru had told him with those words that there would be no point in taking him, there would be no point in raping him, no point in stealing every kiss, every touch, every lick, every _fuck, _because everything the man wanted, everything he craved, Hitsugaya was going to give to him, without restraint and without remorse.

It wasn't a question. It wasn't a request. It was a statement, a declaration.

And those words…defeated him.

Because in the darkest part of Hitsugaya's mind, he wondered if they were true.

He hated everything the man was, everything he stood for, but his body arched, and his mouth gasped, and his brain forgot to remind him of what he hated. When Ichimaru had kissed him, for a moment every thought he had and every prejudice and every ounce of _hate_, had dissolved from his mind until all that was left was the nagging feeling that something wasn't right, because nothing felt wrong, and it should have.

Ichimaru enticed dangerous reactions from him that left him trembling in the aftermath, and he wondered whether Ichimaru was really the snake, or just the charmer. However, when it came down to it, Hitsugaya really couldn't see the difference between the two.

So, in the end, if those cruel and gentle hands touched him again, would he submit? Would he prove every word out of the man's mouth true, if he bent knowingly for the manipulative will of Ichimaru Gin? Would he throw away everything he had always told himself, just to feel the press of a body that both repulsed and ignited every nerve in his body?

__

No!

Hitsugaya gritted his teeth against the fabric of his pillow as he shouted that word repeatedly in his head, trying desperately to believe in its strength.

__

No! No! No!

He couldn't, wouldn't, cave to that. Not after everything, not after all the things Ichimaru had done to the people Hitsugaya cared about, to the entirety of Seireitei, to him.

"No!" In a flash of rage he grabbed the nearest thing to him and hurled it at the door blindly, letting out a sharp gasp when the pillow was caught by pale, slender fingers.

Hitsugaya stared rigidly at the grinning fox face, doubt washing heavily through his system as those unseen eyes settled tauntingly on him.

"Yare yare, aren't ya a fiesty 'ittle kitty."

"Get out."

"Tha's not very nice."

"Please, just get out." Hitsugaya tried, softening his voice slightly in order to somehow convey how much he didn't want the other man there at the moment.

"Tha's jus' pathetic." Ichimaru chuckled, stepping further into the room, his grin widening at the scathing look that was thrown his way.

"What do you want, Ichimaru?" Hitsugaya growled in frustration, flopping onto his back, ignoring the ache in his joints.

"Wha' a silly question, Taicho." Hidden eyes watched him as he shifted uncomfortably on the bed, wincing slightly at the sting the slight movement caused. "Does it still hurt?"

Hitsugaya didn't even choose to answer, but rather just rolled onto his side facing away from the man. He flinched however when he felt fingers on his shoulders, firm but deceptively gentle hands urging him onto his stomach. "What are you doing?" Was the question that fell coldly from his lips, even as he let the man turn him onto his stomach.

"Why, Chibi, I'm helpin' ya o' course." Ichimaru answered back lightly, his tone taunting, as usual. However, Hitsugaya felt his body go completely rigged when he felt lips pressing against the shell of his ear and warm breath dancing along the skin of his neck. "I'm gonna ease tha pain."

Those words sounded distinctly seductive and Hitsugaya began to struggle under the other man's hold, but Ichimaru's grip remained firm and Hitsugaya froze when he felt those lips once again next to his ear, a slight giggle making itself known, causing Hitsugaya to clench his teeth. "Relax kitten, I ain't gonna fuck ya."

"What are you doing then?" The smaller of the two questioned warily, turning his face up as best he could from the position in order to get a look at Ichimaru's face.

Ichimaru's features feigned innocence, and he raised one long finger to scratch at his chin in thought. "I woul' figure anyone woul' recognize a massage." Ichimaru said in wonder, before placing both hands on either one of Hitsugaya's shoulder blades.

"I don't need-"

"Do shut up now, Chibi." Ichimaru cut him off with the simple command, and for some reason Hitsugaya obeyed.

He felt like his body was sinking into the mattress as those delicate fingers moved over his back, tracing and pressing along his spine. The wounds still hurt but the tension that Ichimaru was releasing from his joints was causing him to be able to relax into the pain. He heard a soft humming from above him and his eyes rolled into the back of his head as those fingers pressed into his lower back, and he bit his lip as he heard his own whimper leave his mouth.

It felt good, better than it should have, and maybe it was the way those hands were working him into a state of relaxation, but he didn't even register the feeling of fingers tracing the skin of his hips or his thin shirt being pushed up slightly so Ichimaru's skin was touching his skin, fingertips leaving goose bumps in their wake.

He did, however, notice when those hands began to dip a little lower than necessary and his body went completely rigged once more. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He questioned, his voice shaking more than he would have liked. However, Ichimaru ignored the question and those hands traveled back up his back as if the incident had never occurred in the first place. However, now Hitsugaya was completely aware of every move that Ichimaru made, and a gasp emitted from his lips as he felt those fingers trace up the sides of his neck, before nails scraped lightly down his back, causing him to arch unconsciously. He felt his blood run cold when he realized that something began to stir in his nether regions.

Oh gods no.

"Ichimaru-" However his statement was cut short when Ichimaru let his fingers travel up his sides, and under his shirt before dipping between his body and the mattress to run briefly over his hardening nipples, earning a whimpering sound from the boy who so desperately wanted to be somewhere else.

He felt Ichimaru shift until he was leaning over him, his warm breath traveling along his partially exposed spine before coming to rest at the base of his neck. "Wha' is it, Shiro-chan?" and Hitsugaya felt the distinct feel of teeth scrapping along his nape and a small cry escaped him before he could stop it, the pressure already escalating as his hardness pressed relentlessly against the mattress. "Yer body is like a child's…so responsive." Ichimaru teased, though his voice had taken on a much darker tone to it. Those words, no matter how embarrassing they were, seemed to shoot like fire through his system, and he realized too late that his hips were rocking into the mattress, trying desperately to relieve some of the pressure that had built there. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and halted the movement, praying to anyone who was listening that Ichimaru hadn't noticed. However, Ichimaru was known for his perceptiveness and he gave a startled yelp when he was resolutely flipped onto his back, face to face with the man who had caused all this trouble in the first place.

"It's not what it-" Hitsugaya tried desperately to explain, his hands shooting down instinctively to cover the bulge in his pants as a heated blush rose on his pale cheeks. However he was cut off once more as Ichimaru snatched his hands and pinned them above his head as his slender body crawled atop Hitsugaya's own.

"No, Hitsugaya-taicho, I thin' it's exactly wha' it looks like." Hitsugaya nearly screamed as Ichimaru lowered his hips against his own, and his erection was met with an equal hardness, covered by the layers of Ichimaru's clothes but still there. Hitsugaya's back arched gracefully and unconsciously as his body began to seek for more contact, and an almost whine fell from his chapped lips. He felt like he was on fire. He was confused, and ashamed and so fucking _hot, _and he had no idea what to do, and he made a mental note in his hazed mind to kick his own ass for this later. Ichimaru bent to nuzzle his cheek against his neck, one hand settling underneath his straining back, almost attempting to comfort the body that was squirming so helplessly beneath him. A slick tongue slid against the column of his throat, leaving behind a wet trail, causing Hitsugaya's mouth to fall open in a silent scream, before Ichimaru spoke once more. "Though I gotta wonder, if yer like this because o' wha' I did, or because it was me who did it?"

Hitsugaya cringed at those words, his eyes sliding tightly shut, but Ichimaru didn't give him a chance to respond before he began to lightly roll his hips against Hitsugaya's own, and Hitsugaya wanted to cry at the delicious friction it created, but instead his head just rolled back, his mouth opening as he just _breathed_, each sharp and quickened intake of breath causing a high pitched sound to escape unbidden from his throat.

He couldn't fight this. He didn't know how to fight this.

Ichimaru just watched his reaction from above, his face the same as always, though his breath had quickened considerably as well. "Jus' look at ya. Yer flushed cheeks, yer body wigglin', those cute 'ittle sounds ya make." Ichimaru's pace began to increase as he continued to press Hitsugaya's hands into the mattress. "Can ya imagine wha' I coul' do ta ya with this? Look at me!" Ichimaru emphasized what exactly he was talking about with a particularly brutal thrust of his hips. Hitsugaya's eyes snapped open and he turned glassy teal eyes to look at the man above him, waiting for Ichimaru to continue. Those were the same words Nnoitra had said to him, but now, as Ichimaru said them to him, they were different. "Where's tha fight, Neko? Yer completely undone. Could ya imagine if I was actually fuckin' ya?" Ichimaru leaned down once more, his cheek rubbing against Hitsugaya's own, before teeth latched onto the lobe of his ear. "Ya'd be screamin'."

Ichimaru chuckled at the mix between a growl and a whimper that the boy made, and he slowed his pace down considerably until it was just a slow, sensual thrust of hips, amusement and arousal coursing through him as he felt the smaller boy's hips buck erratically on their own accord as they sought out more friction.

"Ngh, Ichimaru…" Hitsugaya gasped out helplessly and Ichimaru situated both of Hitsugaya's wrists into one hand as he threaded the other one softly through Hitsugaya's snow white hair, lowering his lips to the boy's forehead, before trailing them along the boy's cheek, ears, neck, to gently nip at the boy's collarbone, kissing everywhere but the young taicho's lips, all the while his hips kept up their sensual grind against Hitsugaya's own, causing the boy to make those delicious mewling sounds that Ichimaru knew he regretted even as he made them.

He nipped at the soft skin of his cheek. "Wha' do ya want?"

"Ichimaru, ah, ah-"

He ran his tongue along Hitsugaya's pointed jaw line. "Wha' do ya want?"

"Stop, I-"

He thrust his hips down hard, almost painfully. "Tell me."

"I don't know!" Hitsugaya cried out, tears brimming underneath his eyelashes as he clenched his eyes shut too tightly. Ichimaru, finally, without hesitation, lowered his mouth to Hitsugaya's. He ran his tongue teasingly along the lips of Hitsugaya's already parted and panting mouth, his hands sliding to cup a baby soft cheek, his fingertips moistened by the tears Hitsugaya probably wasn't even aware of. Hitsugaya didn't respond to the kiss, but rather just breathed heavily back into Ichimaru's mouth. This kiss was different then the first one, less demanding, more soft, but far more possessive, and when Ichimaru felt a tentative press of Hitsugaya's tongue against his own, he pulled back. A giggle already falling from his lips. Without hesitation he took one of Htsugaya's hands into his own, interlacing their fingers, before bringing it to rest against the bulge in Hitsugaya's pants. He pressed those small fingers against that straining hardness, moving Hitsugaya's hand back and forth with his own hand, conveying without words the motion that was needed, before removing his hand and leaving Hitsugaya's palm resting against his own erection.

"Ya will." He said simply, knowingly, before rising off of the baffled and panting prodigy, adjusting his clothes, and calmly exiting out the way he came.

And Hitsugaya wanted to scream at that retreating back. Wanted to curse him for doing this to him, for leaving him like this. And dark confused thoughts ran rampant through Hitsugaya's mind as he was left alone once more in that room, but all the while, almost without thought, that hand continued to move against his crotch, stroking roughly as Hitsugaya cursed, until he came hard, biting back a name that he wished he had never learned.

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	9. Of Shakespeare and the Quatro Espada

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or William Shakespeare's _Othello_**

**A/N**: Look, I know I suck…a lot, and I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, but know that I will never fully abandon this story. I just started at a very strict conservatory, that leaves very little time for anything but work. However, now that I've finished my first semester I am going to start managing my time better and updates will come more frequently. Thank you so much to all that reviewed, I probably wouldn't have even got this chapter up if it hadn't been for you guys. You guys are love.

Personal response to reviews should be up in a few days. Thank you all so much.

TillThatTime

Also, I added in some Shakespeare, I am not a fan of Shakespeare though I have read almost all of his work and I am very familiar with it. However I do love Othello, mainly for the character of Iago, but don't worry, you wont have to have read Othello to understand this chapter.

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_Of Shakespeare and the Quatro Espada_

Silver hair fell haphazardly into closed eyes as Ichimaru Gin leaned heavily against the door of his room. His grin was set firmly in place, though perhaps a little more strained than usual, and he could feel his erection straining uncomfortably in the confines of his white pants.

That boy had gotten to him.

Not just in the physical sense, though judging from his current predicament, that was certainly the case as well, but really in every possible way that one person could affect another. His memory flashed back uncontrollably to moments before when the brat had arched under him, his mouth open in panted pleas as his body and mind betrayed him in every sense of the word. Ichimaru had won. Had defeated the boy in every way possible, in every sense that he had always promised with his words and hands.

Ichimaru Gin did not lose.

Did not break.

Did not falter.

So why was it suddenly so hard to breathe?

His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest and he marveled at the fact that the quick paced beating was further proof that he had one at all. It would have been so easy for him to lose control. It would have been so easy for Ichimaru to rip those simple clothes from that tiny and graceful body and just...

...fuck...

And even now, Ichimaru wasn't so sure that it would have been rape. That Hitsugaya Toshiro wouldn't have felt every second of intimacy and wanted it. Truly wanted it, the way only his body could admit when his words would not.

But...

Ichimaru wanted the words as well.

_"I don't know!" _

He didn't want that. He wanted "God yes!" or even "Please no!" But he wouldn't take indecision. He wanted everything given to him, body and mind. He wasn't going to take it from him. It had to be given. In this matter, in this case, it had to be given. Only once Hitsugaya said what they both knew was true would he actually bend that little taicho's body and mind and fuck him until that word didn't even make sense anymore.

But why was this?

Why did Ichimaru, who never before had hesitated to take what he wanted, to steal what he felt he deserved, feel the need to wait until Hitsugaya knew for sure. Understood completely.

Actually wanted him.

Hitsugaya's words of indecision had struck him, and forced him from that lithe body, had walked him out that door and away from the object of his dark cravings. When all this time it was supposed to be Ichimaru who had the control, Ichimaru who called the shots.

It seemed Ichimaru did not hold all of the power this time around.

He wondered briefly if he actually ever had.

Perhaps they played a particularly dangerous balancing act in which both sides pulled and were pulled and neither knew who would win and whether or not they cared to.

Or perhaps Ichimaru Gin thought too much.

He had never really thought of it that way before. He had always believed that his thought process was the very reason that he had survived. Nothing had ever been given to him. He had always had to struggle and fight and scratch his way through, and by his mind and skills alone, he had made his way to the top. It was never easy for him, but ideas came quickly and irrevocably easy. His mind was his saving grace.

And right now it was killing him.

Every step away from that trembling body had been harder than the last, and this was no longer a game of cat and mouse.

Not when the cat had ceased to exist.

They were both being defeated, and it seemed neither one had a chance of winning.

It took him a second to realize the laughter that was piercing through the silence was his own. He wiped his hair from his eyes.

Smiling, always smiling.

He was going to lose, it was true, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to drag that little brat down with him. Ichimaru would succeed in at least that.

He would continue this little manipulation he had grown so fond of, and he would lightly poke and prod until everything was destroyed and all that was left was the knowledge of defeat and the feel of that tiny body pressed against his own.

He was Ichimaru Gin after all.

However, there was a slightly more important matter to attend to at the moment.

With quick steps he made his way over to the monitor that he had had set up personally in his room, apart from the actual control room that gave a visual look of all the corridors in the Las Noches. This was his own private screen, and it was to be viewed by no one but him.

He had discovered that he was quite the possessive bastard.

He flicked on the switch for the screen, the angle already set perfectly, showing him the young captain laying on his bed where Ichimaru had left him only moments ago, oblivious to the camera that was watching his every move.

Ichimaru coveted his own privacy, he didn't have much sense of others.

He licked his lips.

He watched with rapt attention as the petite figure writhed on the bed, his pink lips parted as high pitched whimpers came from that deliciously pale throat of his. His legs were spread as Hitsugaya planted his feet on the mattress, his hips thrusting up slightly into the air.

And that hand…

The very hand that Ichimaru had placed there was moving back and forth with unsure but honest movements. Disgusted eagerness reflected in the way it rubbed and pulled, itching to bring relief that was beyond the point of wanting.

It was innocence, pure and simple. The way Hitsugaya bit at his other unoccupied hand, though the sounds he was making emerged nevertheless. The way tears of desire, and pain and hate were flowing freely over those baby soft cheeks, unnoticed by their source. The way those toes curled into the sheets as those slim hips thrust in erratic movements. It was so dirty…and yet so…

Clean.

Hitsugaya never made a move to undo his clothes. He never touched his nipples or yelled out the obscene words of dark encouragement. And the way he moved his hand over the cloth of his pants…

Ichimaru wondered how often Hitsugaya actually touched himself.

Or was the young taicho too uptight for even that?

The whole display was oddly beautiful in its awkwardness, which was really a perfect description of the little neko himself.

Ichimaru's knees were trembling.

He was mesmerized.

He couldn't bring himself to look away, especially when that hand began to speed up and those whimpers of pained pleasure increased in volume.

It was only a matter of time…

And then it was happening.

That body was arching deliciously off the bed, his mouth falling open as a harsh cry ripped itself from his throat.

And the word Hitsugaya screamed as he came was unmistakable to Ichimaru's ears.

"ICHIMARU!"

And with that Ichimaru was leaning on his desk for support, the feeling of wetness already making itself known in the inside of his pants.

He hadn't even realized he was close.

He had come without touching himself, without being touched by another. Hitsugaya's words and actions were enough to push him to the edge, and the knowledge that there was only one person that Hitsugaya was thinking of as he drove himself to the brink of insanity was enough to hurl the ex-taicho off the cliff.

Ichimaru grinned as he struggled to regain his breath.

This was probably not good…

* * *

He remembered a time before he became a shinigami, when he had wandered the streets of Rukongai, unwanted and alone, and he had come across a discarded book thrown uncaringly into a pile of garbage on the street.

The Works of William Shakespeare

Some writer he had never heard of with a book he had never heard of that someone had obviously brought from the human world. He didn't have much taste for such useless objects.

However, even after he had already decided to try to sell the book in order to get some form of sustenance, he remembered his then much smaller fingers opening the torn and worn pages of the book, and his eyes falling upon a language he recognized, though he didn't know how-He didn't think much on his life in the human world- and he had sat down on the street and begun to read, unnoticed by the souls that passed him, unless they were turning there heads to sneer at him like the street urchin they viewed him as.

He flipped through pages upon pages, finding the writing to be difficult to understand, and even when he did understand he found the dialogue too contrived and too unrealistic to suit his fancy. However, to this day he still remembers coming across one play in particular.

It was entitled _Othello_, and though it was just as disgustingly eloquent as the man's other plays, something about it held his attention.

He didn't know how long he sat there, pronouncing every word in his head, even the ones he didn't understand, but the sky turned dark and the pages became harder to read and the air became cold, and still he squinted and shivered and read.

Captivated completely.

And after he had finished he had sold the book and ate some delicious baker's bread.

He had locked away the tragedy that was _Othello_, thinking not much on it as the decades passed…

But now…

Once again those words were making themselves known.

As he sat on his bed, his pants still sticky with sweat and come, he thought of _Othello_ and laughed, because even he didn't know how his mind worked sometimes.

His eyes drifted to the screen that was still on, watching the rise and fall of his chibi's chest, as he laid curled in the fetal position on his rumpled sheets.

And has he look at the beautiful, annoying, ethereal brat he was reminded of Desdemona, the leading heroine of the play. The symbol of goodness, beauty and all the other bullshit that had ultimately led to her own death.

As a child he had hated her.

He had always thought she was too naïve, too forgiving to ever be of any real interest, real depth. Her death had been the only thing beautiful about her in his eyes.

But now…

Hitsugaya was the beautiful Desdemona, and intrigue, lust and disgust warred inside of him at the thought.

Though he hoped that perhaps Hitsugaya would not be so easily broken as she was.

As a child it was always the character of Iago that caught Ichimaru's attention. The pronounced villain of the play, and villain he was. Iago manipulated and coaxed every single character into his hands, his only thought, his only desire, was to bring destruction in every way possible. It was almost as if Shakespeare had wanted to put a devil on stage and the end result had been Iago.

It wasn't so much Iago's end intentions that drew Ichimaru to the character, but rather the sheer intelligence that the character used to enact every part of his plan.

Iago's kindness to the faces of the people he destroyed was darkly intoxicating to the young Ichimaru.

And now there was no doubt in Ichimaru's mind who donned that role now. He had come across another Iago years after reading about the first and he had been just as equally intrigued and he had followed the villain of his own story into this world of nothingness.

However, he could not see himself as the hero Othello, the blubbering, passionate, good-natured idiot who had been so easily tricked, so easily manipulated.

He found it hard to believe that he would fall so easily prey to Iago's trap, no matter how blind he was to the evil that lurked there, because Ichimaru was not stupid. He knew full well that black had a far easier time corrupting white then the gray that consumed Ichimaru body and soul.

It seemed he didn't even have a place in his own comparison.

He snorted, it really was amusing to be captive in his own mind.

As he stood, his intention to turn off the screen that showed the resting Desdemona, he froze.

"Ah, Ulquiorra."

He turned to see that petite espada standing in his room, and he made a mental note to perhaps put up a better guard around his room.

Ulquiorra did not acknowledge him with words, but Ichimaru watched as green eyes fell briefly on the screen before turning back to plant themselves unwaveringly on Ichimaru's face. Ichimaru let his own eyes wander to the espada's neck, noticing the dark red spot contrasting on the pale white skin that was barely peeking behind Ulquiorra's collar.

"I see ya've been enjoyin' th' rather unruly pleasure that is Grimmjow Jeagerjaques." Those bright eyes narrowed slightly at the comment but other than that there was no sign that Ichimaru's words had affected him at all. Oh, how Ichimaru loved playing with this particular arrancar. All the others were too easy to rile up, and Ichimaru loved a challenge. "Do tell me, is he gentle with ya, or is he jus' as aggressive as always when he fucks ya?"

"Ichimaru-sama, this has never worked in the past before. Is there a particular reason that you keep on trying?" Was Ulquiorra's monotone reply, however Ichimaru did notice how the espada was clutching the hilt of his sword a little too tightly. He giggled aloud at this, and his eyes settled on the twin tails of green tears that adorned Ulquiorra's face.

"Mah mah, why sucha sad face, Ulqui-chan?"

The smaller espada failed to see the humor.

Ichimaru let out a long sigh, over exaggerating his disappointment at not being ale to get a rise out of the quatro espada. "Is there something you need, Ulquiorra-kun?"

"I have come to inform you that Aizen-sama has called for Hitsugaya Toshiro to be brought to his private chambers." Ulquiorra's reply was curt and Ichimaru's froze at the words, his eyes locked with the emerald ones across from him.

"Have ya come ta warn me then?" He saw Ulquiorra's eyes flit to the screen once more, a small smirk tugging rarely and almost unseen at the corner of his pale lips.

"No, Aizen-sama ordered me to tell you."

Ichimaru's grin faltered slightly at these words and though he recovered quickly he was sure the perceptive arrancar had seen it. When he spoke, his voice was steady, but much softer than it had been before. "Has he sent ya ta gauge my reaction, Ulquiorra?"

Ulquiorra's face was unreadable as he turned on his heel to leave. "Thank you for your cooperation, Ichimaru-sama."

As the door clicked shut, Ichimaru turned to face the screen once more, watching as Hitsugaya still slept soundly atop the covers.

He was right, this wasn't good.

And Aizen Sosuke was definitely the Iago of this story.

And no matter how many times your read it, Iago always won in the end.


	10. Fear

**A/N:** God, I'm so tired. Thank you everyone for being so patient, and I love all my reviewers. You all make me smile more than I have in months. Hugs and kisses all around, and for naughty services, see me out back.

**Fear**

He was being dragged down the white corridors of Las Noches.

The man who was doing the dragging, Hitsugaya immediately recognized as another one of Aizen's ranked espada. Said man did not look very pleased at the moment, in fact he looked downright pissed to hell that he was having to do this in the first place. He ran one large hand through a mass of shockingly blue hair as his other tightly held onto Hitsugaya's forearm, pulling him along at a pace that suggested that he better keep the fuck up, lest he wanted to lose his legs in the process. The arrancar's clothes were slightly rumpled, and his hair was disheveled in a way that said that he had been disturbed during the process of something by this particular order, whatever it was.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Hitsugaya shouted in indignation as his much shorter legs struggled to keep up with the far longer legs of the espada.

"Shut the hell up, will ya? It's bad enough that I was interrupted during what promised to be a fantastic fuck, but I'm not going to listen to the yappings of some little shinigami-bitch, so hold yer fuckin' tongue, unless ya want me to cut it out, twerp." The taller man growled in a low voice, blue eyes flashing. However, Hitsugaya didn't feel the same suffocating malice as he did when he was around Nnoitra, this espada was different somehow. He seemed to be radiating extreme annoyance rather than the true intention to cause inexplicable damage.

"You didn't answer my question, hollow. Where the hell are you taking me?" Hitsugaya bit out, his tone just as annoyed as the man's own.

The arrancar barked out a short, sharp laugh. "Yeah idiot, you're in a real position to be givin' me orders." However, the blue haired espada rolled his eyes and let out an over exaggerated sigh of the inconvenienced. "I'm under orders to take you to see our lord and savior, _Aizen-sama_."

All sarcasm that the statement might have held was lost to Hitsugaya as he froze in his tracks, his blood freezing along with his movements.

Why…?

The espada, not noticing that the small taicho had stopped, continued pulling, causing Hitsugaya to fall to the ground. The man turned back to look at the fallen boy. "The fuck? Get the hell up, idiot."

The words didn't register. Nothing did at that moment except the fact that he was being taken to the man who was quite literally the devil in his life. Why? What could that bastard possibly want? Hitsugaya really didn't actually want to know, because none of the outcomes seemed to lead to a bright future.

He remembered all to vividly the sadistic look in the falsely kind man's eyes as he ordered him to be undressed in front of the hungry eyes of his underlings.

He shivered at the thought.

"No." His voice came out a low whisper from his position on the ground.

"What?" The espada huffed, cocking his head to the side.

He couldn't face that man. Not without his zanpakuto. Not without any way to defend himself at all. Dammit, it wasn't supposed to be like this. None of it was.

"What is your name, espada?" He didn't know why he needed to know, he just did. The man above him looked down in confusion, his eyebrows knitting together as the question registered, but he shrugged anyways after a few moments of hesitation.

"I don't know why it's any of yer fuckin' business, but I guess it couldn't hurt none to tell ya. My name is Grimmjow, the sexta espada." The last part was said cockier than just about anything that Hitsugaya had ever heard in his life.

"Hollow…Grimmjow…don't take me there." Hitsugaya whispered after a few moments of silence, his head hung low, almost as if in shame and Grimmjow had to strain to hear him.

"I don't think that's really either of our choice, kid." Grimmjow said after the low plea registered, his voice filled with an almost disbelieving amusement.

"Don't…you can't…"

"I don't think ya underst-"

"GOD DAMMIT! You can't take me to that man!" Hitsugaya suddenly screamed, and if Grimmjow had been any less of a badass he would have taken a step back in surprise at the outburst. Hitsugaya lowered his head once more, his voice once again a soft whisper. "Take me back to that prison you've put me in, but don't take me to the Gates of Hell…please." Hitsugaya never thought that a single word could be so hard to utter.

Grimmjow was suddenly kneeling down beside him, and Hitsugaya rose his head to look into those hauntingly beautiful eyes, and they still held a mask of annoyance, but beyond that they had softened into something that Hitsugaya could only describe as pity and perhaps even empathy.

It made him sick.

"Listen Shinigami, it's not just yer ass on the line but mine as well and that fucker is sick enough that he'd probably threaten to kill _him_ as well." Grimmjow didn't specify exactly who he was talking about but Hitsugaya had the suspicion that it had something to do with that "fantastic fuck" Grimmjow had mentioned earlier. "So forgive me for choosing him over you, but ya wouldn't willingly let me fuck ya, and rape isn't really my thing…Now, I can either throw ya over my shoulder and carry ya there like the baby yer face leads everyone to believe ya are, or ya can stand up and walk there with me like a man. You may not have anything left, but dignity is something you can fake until the end. So, what's it going to be, Shinigami?"

Hitsugaya looked straight into his eyes, his heart struggling for each beat that it took, and he knew it was the truth, that there was no way out of this, not in his current state, but he could at least be the man he swore he was instead of the child he was called.

He rose slowly on shaking legs, willing his body to cooperate, and he began to walk. Grimmjow rose along with him, his expression hard as he stared straight ahead, refusing to look at the young taicho beside him. He wasn't an idiot, nor was he naïve. He knew more about the evils in this world than most did. Hell, he _was _one of those evils. The shinigami-bitch had been right, he was leading him to the Gates of Hell.

Through everything, every step that Hitsugaya took, one thought refused to leave his mind.

Where in the hell was Ichimaru Gin?

They reached the large doors that signaled that they had come to their destination, and Grimmmjow looked down at Hitsugaya as he heard the taicho's breath begin to quicken. Hitsugaya didn't meet those piercing eyes but instead stared straight forward, his jaw clenched and no matter how hard he tried, his body trembled in sickened anticipation.

He was scared…well, terrified may have been a more appropriate word, and if it weren't for the current situation, he might have laughed at that moment. What would his squad think now if they could see him like this? Their hot headed, always out to prove himself taicho, scared and trembling like a…child.

It was an appalling notion really, and so unlike himself, but it was true, and their was nothing he could do to change it. No matter how much he might hate himself for even thinking of letting the man that waited on the other side of those doors see even an ounce of the fear that he felt.

He was Hitsugaya Toshiro for god's sake! Did that not mean anything anymore?

No, it didn't…not in this place. Who he was and who he thought he was made no difference. He was just another weak prey, and rank and pride be damned.

Hitsugaya Toshiro was not afraid of dying. Oh no, dying was not something that scared him. He was always prepared for that, in his line of work he had to be. Death was just something that happened, an unavoidable event of life, and though he would prefer not to, it wasn't something he ran from.

But…there were other things that terrified Hitsugaya, things that he would much rather suffer death a thousand times before then have to endure while he breathed in this world.

And there was not a doubt in his mind that Aizen Sosuke knew what every single one of those things was.

As he stared at those unforgiving doors, he truly wished that death was the only thing he was facing now.

He felt a large hand snake once more around his arm and he was jolted from his thoughts as he finally turned to face the sexta espada. The expression before him was hard and the grip on his arm was tight, but somehow Hitsugaya knew that though Grimmjow was once again resuming the role of captor the hand that touched him was not meant to hurt him and that in his own strange way Grimmjow was trying to provide the closest thing to a kind gesture that he could think of. The hand on Hitsugaya's arm was warm and strong, and…it stabilized him. Though not gone completely, the trembles that racked his body eased and Hitsugaya took the moment to muse how truly fucked up it was that this "monster" was trying to offer him a small form of comfort…and it was working.

Grimmjow raised his fist to knock, and Hitsugaya waited.

"Come in, Grimmjow." That voice…it was just as kind as it had always been. That sick fuck.

Grimmjow slowly opened the door and with his hand still firmly placed on Hitsugaya's arm, he led the smaller male inside. The room was lush, extravagant even. A room fit for a king…or a devil. It showed all the cockiness that Aizen surely possessed, stating in everyway possible that this room was for someone who was far above everyone else…and it was white, pure white. That bullshit sign of goodness and light, holiness and purity. Aizen seemed to be obsessed with it. The room, in all its beauty was one thing that finally showed that Aizen Sosuke was a psychotic son of a bitch.

And Hitsugaya barely noticed any of it.

Instead his eyes were trained straight ahead, staring unwaveringly at the man that sat relaxed in the center of the room in a plush, white chair.

He secretly thanked whatever higher power was listening that his anger returned at the sight of that traitorous man lounging so cockily in that chair. For a moment, for a single moment, his body stopped it's trembling and terror was overshadowed by pure hatred and rage. It was a beautiful feeling. One that he recognized, one that was familiar. He welcomed it. And then…

"Are you afraid, Toshiro-kun?" That gentle voice was washing over him, nearly caressing him in its smoothness, and in an instant that fear was back, because that warm smile may have been on that handsome face, but there was no kindness to be found in those rich, brown eyes.

However, there was no way in hell he was going to let this man see his fear. He stood his ground, fisting his small hands at his sides, in an attempt to keep them steady. "I would never fear scum like you, Aizen." And he was truly impressed that his voice held the malice that he had wished for.

Aizen grinned at this, his hand coming up to lazily prop his head up. "What a pity, Toshiro-kun. We'll just have to change that wont we?" The words were said evenly, as if he was referring to the weather. Hitsugaya felt his blood run cold once more. This was not going to be good for him. Aizen turned his eyes to the other occupant in the room at that moment. "You may leave now, Grimmjow."

The hand on his arm hesitated for one blissful moment and then with a light squeeze the hand was gone, along with its warmth. Hitsugaya never thought he could miss such a simple thing so much.

"Hai, Aizen-sama." Grimmjow cut his eyes towards Hitsugaya one last time, and Hitsugaya told himself that there really was some form of remorse in their blue depths, before the espada turned on heel and exited the room, leaving him alone in the metaphorical lion's den to face his fate, alone and powerless.

He didn't even have a chance to turn back around before he found himself across the room and in the lap of Aizen Sosuke. "Wha-?" When had Aizen moved? Hitsugaya hadn't even seen it. He didn't really have time to ponder on that before he noticed how securely Aizen's arms were wrapped around his waist or how he was placed so fully on said man's lap. It was only in this sickening moment that he truly realized the difference in their sizes. How small and physically weak he was in comparison to this man. He stilled completely, not even attempting to struggle…trying desperately to think of any possible way out of this hellish situation.

"Aizen…let me go." He said softly, and he cursed the way his voice shook.

Aizen merely chuckled, his breath ruffling Hitsugaya's hair. "Tell me, Toshiro-kun, does it get tiresome repeating the same lines over and over again?" This time Hitsugaya did struggle, flailing in a desperate attempt to throw the man off of him, but the arms around his torso squeezed and Hitsugaya felt as if all the air was forced completely from his lungs, leaving him gasping and weak. "Now, let me ask you again, and do be honest. Are you afraid?"

The young taicho bit his lip, refusing to answer, knowing that anything he could possibly say would only condemn him in the end. Aizen clucked his tongue in disappointment behind him. "Disobedience is not something that will be praised, Hitsugaya-taicho. Naughty children will be punished." In an instant deft fingers were on his plain shirt, unbuttoning it without any sign of hesitation. Aizen had already slipped the shirt off of his shoulders, leaving his upper torso bare before he even registered what was happening.

He grasped at the hands that were at the drawstrings of his pants, trying to pry them away but they wouldn't budge. "No, don't do this! Fuck, stop! St-" suddenly one of the hands was gone and he felt a stinging sharp pain on his cheek, his head was forced viciously to the side from the force of the slap, and soon he could taste the metallic flavor of blood in his mouth.

"I will not tolerate such language, Toshiro-kun." Those words were said with the sternness of a father scolding a small child, and Hitsugaya truly wonder at that moment how such a fucked up and cruel creature could exist in the world. His breath caught when the hand that had just struck him reached up and gently began to caress his hair, he balked and tried to squirm away from the unwanted contact, but Aizen's other hand wrapped around his neck in warning and Hitsugaya stilled under the caress.

"Such a good child. You know, I've always liked this color." Aizen replied smoothly, threading his fingers through white locks and pulling sharply, causing Hitsugaya to squeak at the pain, before loosening his grip once more. "It gives you such an air of…innocence, Toshiro-kun." Hitsugaya growled at the comment, squeezing his eyes shut in a mixture of fury and horror. "Does that upset you, taicho?"

He did not answer. Aizen already knew anyways.

Soon knuckles were running almost affectionately over the skin of his cheek before they dipped lower, tracing his collar bone, causing Hitsugaya to involuntarily shiver at the contact. They trailed even lower and Hitsugaya felt his body jerk as a single digit traced teasingly around one of his nipples, causing it to harden, much to Hitsugaya's mortification. He wasn't used to this, he didn't know how to control his body's actions. Only one person had ever touched him like this, and in that moment he realized that only that one person ever should. Without registering the sound, he whimpered in frustration, and he could just feel Aizen smirking behind him. "Frustrating, isn't it?" He asked, his voice a mock soothing tone. "You really are a remarkably beautiful creature, Toshiro. Do you know that? Such beautiful, smooth white skin." The traitor mused, before running his hand along the flat plane of Hitsugaya's stomach, only pausing when it once more reached the drawstring of his pants. In a second, Hitsugaya felt Aizen's spiritual energy wrapping around him, suffocating him, and this time when Aizen spoke, his voice was so much colder than it had been before. "So, tell me Toshiro-kun, why hasn't he fucked you yet?"

He yelped when he was flipped over onto his stomach, resting on Aizen's knees, and his pants were ripped from him, leaving him bare before Aizen's eyes, except for his cock, which was hidden underneath him, and as the tears welled in his eyes as cool air hit his bare skin, he thanked the deities for small favors.

Those dangerous hands were back, running along the smooth and rounded skin of his ass, and Hitsugaya gasped for air as it took everything in him to keep from begging…just begging this man to kill him instead. "You're such a good little bitch. Such a pretty little ass, and I bet you're tight too…It's no wonder my Gin loves you so."

Hitsugaya's heart stopped in that moment. Aizen couldn't possibly mean that. Ichimaru couldn't possibly…it didn't make sense. Gods, nothing here did.

He screamed when he felt a stinging slap to one of his ass cheeks. "Itai…"

"Pay attention know, Toshiro, I can't have you drifting off." He gritted his teeth when another harsh slap came, quickly followed by a third, a fourth, a fifth, and after awhile Hitsugaya just stopped counting and closed his eyes, wondering if he truly had died and been sentenced to hell.

After what seemed like eternity, the vicious spanking stopped and the hand was back to caressing, but even the gentle touch stung the abused skin of his ass and he sobbed silently into the fabric of Aizen's robes.

"What a beautiful, angry red, Toshiro-kun. It fits your personality so well." Aizen cooed, smiling affectionately at the trembling captain on his lap. "Now, lets just see if I'm right about how tight you are."

There was a single digit running down the crack of his ass, inching towards his entrance and Hitsugaya knew then that he no longer cared about pride and turned his head to beg the man that hovered above him to kill him. However, before he could even open his mouth, the finger tracing his ass vanished along with his position on Aizen's lap. In a blink of an eye he found himself on the other side of the room, cradled in another person's arms.

The first thing he noticed was the white fabric of the person's robes billowing around him. The second was the way the person held him, possessively and protectively, turning his body inward to save him at least some form of modesty. The third and final thing he noticed was the person's face. A face that he would recognize anywhere. The fox face that had tormented so many of his dreams. The face that was now devoid of any sign of a smile, with crimson eyes staring not at him, but straight ahead. The face that no matter how many seconds, minutes or centuries he may live, he would never be more thankful for then in that very moment.

"Ah Gin, I was so hoping you would join us."


	11. Desperation

_  
_**Disclaimer: Still don't own.**

**A/N:** Once again, sorry this took so long. My grandmother just passed away recently. It's been hard to write. Anyways, if you read chapter 9 and 10 together there are hints to who Grimmjow's lover is, but I make it blatant in this chapter, so have fun with that. Thank you lovely reviewers, you make me sing...off-key, but continue to brighten my day_. _

* * *

_ Desperation_

It was almost cliché how much it seemed like time stood still at that moment. There he was, huddled and trembling in the arms of the man that had tormented him, the man that had turned his world ass-backwards and had laughed while doing it. It was ridiculous. It didn't make sense. It was the type of occurrence that Hitsugaya had spent the majority of his life desperately trying to avoid. His enemy was holding him, and still, even more disturbing, was the fact that instead of struggling to release himself from the admittedly protective hold, he was clinging frantically to the other man, his tiny hands fisted in cloth the same color as his hair, the color he hated the most. However, at that moment, that bit of white was the only source of comfort that he could claim as his own.

The fox had saved him. The bastard was holding him. Thank the gods.

It was almost as if in that one singular moment, Hitsugaya's pride didn't matter. It didn't matter that Ichimaru was a traitor. It didn't matter that the man made him feeling things that he had never wanted to feel in the first place. It didn't matter that a part of his brain still demanded at least an ounce of dignity, at least an ounce of animosity in the face of this monster. And Hitsugaya heard nothing from his pride as he buried his face in the fabric bunched in his hands, everything forgotten for that split second as he breathed in the now familiar scent of his enemy and savior.

However, time must have not really stopped at all. No, time didn't seem to care one bit for his feelings as he heard a smooth voice cut through the room. "Ah Gin, I was so hoping you would join us." And the fear was back, only it wasn't so much for himself this time even though, now that he was not stuck in a moment of indulgent cliché, he was having a hard time admitting it.

He felt the chest under his palm rise slightly as Ichimaru took a deep breath, and then the fox-faced man was shucking out of his haori with Hitsugaya still in his arms, which should have been a difficult task but Ichimaru pulled it off with a grace that would have probably pissed Hitsugaya off had it been any other time.

And now he was being set on his feet, his legs shaking terribly, threatening to stop supporting him at all. All of this reminding him of his current weakness, as Ichimaru's haori was being wrapped around him, instantly covering up his own indecency and leaving Ichimaru in only his black robes. It was almost funny. Seeing Ichimaru like that reminded him of Ichimaru's days as a shinigami, before the betrayal. A time when Ichimaru was a different man, or rather he was under the façade of a different man.

He had to hold himself back from jumping in surprise when he heard Aizen's voice cut through the air once more. "You are free to go, Hitsugaya-kun."

His eyes narrowed at the words as he turned sharply to the older man still sitting leisurely on his throne, as if nothing had happened at all. "What?" He asked lowly, feeling his anger rise slowly, and not really knowing why.

"It should be quite simple, you are dismissed." After all that? After Aizen had dressed him, had fucking _spanked_ him, not to mention had attempted to rape him, he was just being dismissed with a simple wave of a hand? What in the hell kind of fucked up God-complex did this man have? He couldn't just leave, no something was wrong about this situation. He couldn't just walk out of this room like nothing had happened, but still, even he didn't understand his own reasoning. Only mere moments ago he had been begging for any way out of this room, and now that it was being handed so simply to him, he was reluctant to leave? That didn't make sense at all. What in the hell was wrong with him? He couldn't even figure himself out anymore. Gods, this place was fucking with him.

Aizen grinned at the boy's obvious dismay before speaking once more in a falsely kind voice, the type that one might use when talking to a child. "I need you to leave now, Hitsugaya-kun. I need to speak with Gin alone."

And then suddenly it all made sense. With those words he knew why he didn't want to leave, because he knew, even before Aizen had said it, that if he left this room, he would be leaving it alone and Ichimaru would not be coming with him. Though he was the unlikely hero of Hitsugaya's story, and though Hitsugaya mentally scowled at the idea, Ichimaru had saved him, there was no looking past that, and by saving him, Ichimaru had directly defied his lord. Ichimaru had gone against the man that he had given all of his loyalty to, and he had done it for Hitsugaya, and something told the young taicho that turning your back on a creature like Aizen Sosuke was not something to be taken likely. Hitsugaya didn't know what would happen to Ichimaru once he left, and he somehow felt responsible and…scared.

Part of him wanted to kill himself at that moment.

"Like hell." He growled back at the king on his throne, wondering briefly where this new found resolve had come from when mere moments ago he had been ready to beg for death, but then of course, at that time it had only been his life on the line. He looked into Aizen's eyes and noticed the way something flashed in them, and Aizen's grin turned into a nasty smirk that made him wince, and he was just about to force his very reluctant legs to move into a probably very futile and very stupid and very anger-driven attack when he felt long and deceptively strong fingers clasp onto his shoulder, stopping any movement he might have made. He turned back slowly to look at Ichimaru, who had remained silent up until now.

He was once more grinning.

It made Hitsugaya want to hit him.

"Now now, Yuki-hime, don' go getting' all worked up, jus' cause yer worried fer me."

That also made Hitsugaya want to hit him.

He had had a pretty good idea what this feeling inside him was, but that did not mean that he wanted the bastard to voice it aloud…ever.

And he didn't want to believe that he was worried for the man who so mercilessly teased him, but he could not, nor could anyone else probably, find a better word to describe the sensation that had crept unpleasantly up the pit of his stomach and had speared through his heart and wrapped around his throat. He was worried, so fucking worried about leaving this man alone with the devil that it was making him sick.

And all Ichimaru could do was grin in the face of his impending punishment and Hitsugaya's unwilling display of concern.

Ichimaru never seemed to falter, but that was all Hitsugaya seemed to be able to do lately.

He wondered if he would still be able to recognize himself if he looked in the mirror now.

However, perhaps the fact that Ichimaru was even standing here in the first place was proof enough that  
he wasn't as unaffected as he appeared to be.

He knew that Ichimaru wanted him to leave, knew by the way the hand on his shoulder was squeezing ever so slightly, but his heart and his feet didn't seem to want to cooperate.

Then Ichimaru was leaning over him, and Hitsugaya cut his eyes to Aizen for a moment, noticing the way the man only stared on, not attempting to stop them, as Ichimaru breathed hotly in his ear, causing shivers to run along Hitsugaya's spine at a far greater strength than Aizen's caressing fingers had.

"Ya always seem ta forget, Chibi, that I am not, nor ever will be, yer friend."

It was those words again. Those same words that had been repeated to him before. Words that were taunting and warning at the same time. Words that defined them completely, and Hitsugaya fully understood it now. They weren't friends, they weren't now and they never would be, and though Hitsugaya could use so many different terms to describe what Ichimaru was to him, "Friend" would never be one of them…not when the word seemed so insignificant in comparison now.

Still, he had to know.

"Then why did you save me, Ichimaru…again?" He asked in a soft voice, silently cursing the lack of conviction his tone held. He cringed ever so slightly when he heard a soft chuckle against the shell of his ear.

"Why don' ya jus' call it a whim." The reply was smooth and once again it made Hitsugaya feel inferior and he noticed with some relief that his pride wasn't completely abandoned.

"You're a liar, Ichimaru. Don't fuck with me." He growled, his eyes narrowing, Aizen almost completely forgotten in that moment.

"But that's jus' it, Chibi." Somehow, Hitsugaya noticed with slight anxiety and mixed triumph, Ichimaru's tone of voice had taken a slightly darker tone, and then a boney hand was snaking its way around his neck to cup the back of his head, forcing his eyes up to peer into crimson. He was captivated by that rarely seen pair of eyes. "No one besides me is ever gonna _fuck_ with ya. That includes God himself."

And…there it was.

Ownership.

Though Ichimaru had stated such before, this was the first time he had ever gone so far to truly stake his claim on the small taicho.

Hitsugaya knew he should have been more pissed than he was.

"Now, git tha hell outta this room before I grab that pretty hair of yers and throw ya out."

"But-"

"Now." And then Ichimaru was grabbing him by the arm, leading his almost dragging feet to the door, before it was opened and he was shoved unceremoniously onto his ass in the hall, and the door was shut and locked behind him.

He was on his feet in an instant, his hand clasped tightly around the door handle, trying desperately to pry it open, but it wouldn't budge. Trying a new tactic, he raised his fist and began to pound it against the thick wood, ignoring and almost welcoming the way pain shot through his fingers as his pounding became more vicious in nature, while his other hand clung onto the robe that was wrapped around him "Ichimaru! Ichimaru, open the fucking door! Dammit, let me in! Let me in!…please." He didn't care anymore. He didn't care that everything that he had forced himself to become was slowly being washed away from him. He didn't care that even if he got into the room that there would be nothing that he could truly do. He didn't care that his skin was starting to crack and bruise and blood was smearing on the beautiful wood of the door. He didn't care that this wasn't right, didn't care at all. All he cared about was getting back in that room…to be by his side, consequences, guilt and shame be damned. None of that mattered anymore. At least not at the moment.

His voice was going hoarse, and Hitsugaya didn't know whether it was from the yelling or the sobs that threatened to tear through his throat.

He nearly screamed when he felt a hand close over his mouth, and he struggled blindly as he was pulled away from the door, his yelling muffled by the calloused hand. "Dammit, stop acting like a horse's ass!" Someone growled into his ear, and he recognized the voice instantly as belonging to Grimmjow, and as he quieted down and turned his head slightly, he noticed a shock of blue hair.

He relaxed slightly into the grip and the hand over his mouth moved away. "Idiot" Grimmjow mumbled behind him.

"You stayed?" Hitsugaya questioned, his voice coming out slightly raspy.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes, barring his teeth slightly. "Fuck you, asshole, don't think much of it. Someone was going to have to drag ya back to yer room if ya ever came out of that one." Grimmjow snarled, and Hitsugaya felt the corners of his lips twitch slightly despite the situation, but the sexta espada didn't seem to notice. "Speaking of which, I'm takin' ya back now."

"Wait, you can't-"

"Jesus, yer worse than a woman, always changing' yer mind and shit… Look, nothing short of a miracle is getting ya back in that room, and those are in short supply in a place like this. Besides, though I can't stand the sneaky bastard, ya really shouldn't underestimate Ichimaru's ability to talk himself outta a situation. There's really nothing more you can do now. So, come with me, because like I said before, brat, I'm not above draggin' ya."

He realized the truth of these words even though he didn't want to believe them, and his heart was still pounding painfully in his chest as Grimmjow led him down the hall. He didn't want to leave, didn't want to leave Ichimaru unless he knew the man was going to come out of the room with him, but dammit, what could he do? Helplessness was a now more familiar sensation than breathing to Hitsugaya.

He was almost back to his room, not really noticing how far they had gone in his daze, when another espada appeared before them. He recognized this one as well, the twin trails of green tears running down his pale, smooth cheeks, being very hard to forget.

"Escorting the prisoner?" The smooth voice of the espada inquired, a thin, black eyebrow arching every so slightly as he spoke.

"No kidding, dumb-shit." Grimmjow simply snorted back in irritation, and Hitsugaya wondered where Grimmjow got the audacity to speak to a higher rank in such a way.

"He doesn't look very hurt." The arrancar's monotone voice was almost unsettling as bright green eyes took in his lack of clothing in a calculating but almost bored way.

"Nah, Ichimaru showed up before he could do anything to him."

"Interesting." Finally the espada turned his eyes away from Hitsugaya and settled them on Grimmjow, something the younger of the three couldn't place flitted across them. "Don't get too attached, Grimmjow."

Hitsugaya watched silently as Grimmjow snarled and took a step forward until there was mere inches separating the two espada. For one moment, Hitsugaya thought Grimmjow was going to hit the smaller arrancar but he nearly choked on his own spit when Grimmjow reached a large hand up and tangled it in sleek black hair before crushing his lips to the pale ones below him, and despite all of his disaffected behavior, Hitsugaya noticed the way the green-eyed espada pressed himself almost unnoticeably into the taller man. Hitsugaya felt his cheeks heat at the intimate display. So this must be Grimmjow's "fantastic fuck." Grimmjow pulled back abruptly, a smirk forming on his kiss-bruised lips. "Wouldn't dream of it, Ulquiorra."

"I heard what you said about wanting to protect me."

"Spying in on people through the cameras again, Ulquiorra?" A blank expression was Grimmjow's only answer but his grin widened nevertheless. "Does it make ya feel all warm and fuzzy inside?" The blue-haired arrancar taunted.

"Hardly, it just makes me pity you." Though the words were just as dead as ever, there was a slight twitching of Ulquiorra's lips that indicated something else.

"Bitch." Grimmjow growled, though his grin still remained in place, and suddenly Hitsugaya felt like he was witnessing some sort of inside game of cat and mouse. Grimmjow's hands snaked down Ulquiorra's waist to grab his ass and pull him close against his body. "Mine."

"I see you've reverted back to monosyballic words. Not in front of the child, Grimmjow."

"He gets pissed when ya call him that." Grimmjow stated before Hitsugaya could open his mouth to retort.

"Further proof that he is one." If Hitsugaya hadn't been so afraid that he would lose the robe wrapped around his naked body at that moment, he would have lunged, he really would have.

"Heh, yer ass is mine tonight." At those words, Ulquiorra merely cocked an eyebrow before walking passed Grimmjow and down the hall, not even sparing Hitsugaya a second glance. Grimmjow watched his ass the entire time.

"Do you love him?" Hitsugaya surprised himself with his words, he hadn't even noticed he had asked it before it left his mouth. He wasn't sure why he wanted to know.

Grimmjow looked at him in surprise for a moment, before his expression hardened. "That's human shit."

"You're lying."

Grimmjow just merely huffed at this. "Get in yer fuckin' room, bastard." Hitsugaya for once did what he was told without complaint. The door closed and locked behind him, and he leaned heavily against it. Now without Grimmjow and Ulquiorra there to provide a distraction, he was left once more with his own thoughts, his own fears. He sunk slowly to the floor, wrapping the robe tightly around him and burying his face in it. He breathed deeply. It smelled like Ichimaru.

Now all he could do was wait. He wasn't sure what he would be able to say about his feelings if and when Ichimaru walked through his door.


	12. Expendable

**Disclaimer: For fuck's sake, I am never going to own it! We ALL know this!**

**A/N:** Please don't lose faith in me my lovely reviewers. I know I suck at updating, but I will never abandon this story so don't abandon me. This chapter was hard to write. It was emotionally complicated, and Ichimaru gets knocked down quite a few pegs. You may see a side of him you have not seen before. Also, Ulquiorra is one of my favorite characters behind Gin and Hitsu-chan…I am not very happy currently, so I knew I had to crank this chapter out or it would never get done, so here it is. I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you so much to my special reviewers, especially the ones who continue to stick with me through everything.

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**Expendable**

His hands were shaking. Probably not visibly-he had had years of practice keeping up a calm façade-but he could feel it in his bones, in his veins.

His hands were shaking.

His whole body was shaking.

He knew how powerful this man in front of him was. He had always known. From the moment he had seen those caring, lying eyes, and had felt that gentle pulse of monstrous reiatsu, he had known that no matter how strong he may be, and he knew he was, this man could destroy every inch of who he was in an instant.

He had met him as a child a hundred years ago, and a hundred mornings, a hundred nights, a hundred fucks and a hundred kills later, he was still a child in comparison. Only, he was able to admit it to himself, which was a far different cry from another child he knew.

However, there was one thing he held over Aizen Sosuke, one thing that made him far more of an asset than only being extremely talented and undeniably intelligent could have made him, and that was the fact that Aizen had never been able to fool him. For all those sweet smiles and loving eyes that he threw around like candy that had everyone foolishly flocking to stand blindly beside the generous man that would eventually stab them viciously in the back, he knew that he stood wide-eyed and willing beside a demon masquerading as a saint, and Aizen would never be able to take that away from him. That was why he had been chosen, right? Sure he was powerful, sure he had been a child-prodigy, but really it all came down to the fact that he was the perfect candidate; power-hungry, willing and far more perceptive than all those other powerful, child-prodigies in Seireitei. From the moment those warm eyes had smiled at him, he had sealed his fate. A smile, as equally as fake, coming to his own lips as he sing-songed into the evening air, "Ya don' hafta lie ta me, Aizen-sama."

Now, as he stood here in silence, same fake smile plastered on his face from a hundred years prior, this thought, this knowledge, was the only thing that brought him comfort. He had defied his God, and there was no getting passed that, and if he had meant anything less to the man, he idly wondered if he would still be standing. Was this fear he was feeling? Honest, true fear? He did not fear death. Before a few minutes ago, he thought that he feared nothing…yet here it was, tugging at his chest, because Aizen Sosuke could do so much more than merely kill him, and one thing he could always expect from his taicho was that he could never expect what those things were. So yes, it must be fear. He snickered internally at the thought, laughing at his own slice of cruel misfortune.

Still, he stood his ground, grasping onto the saving confidence that told him that above all else, he was important to this man.

"Did you think this uninvited entrance of yours was unexpected, Gin?" He didn't flinch at the words, but they were mildly surprising nevertheless. He had assumed that once he had been given the news that Hitsugaya was to be brought to Aizen's chambers, his lord would have expected him to be as loyal as ever and cut ties with the boy, leaving him to face whatever fate Aizen had deemed worthy of the little prisoner.

"I have no intention o' assumin' anything, Aizen-sama." This was a lie of course, they both knew it, but it was a simple game they had both grown quite fond of over the years. Besides, Ichimaru wouldn't have gotten nearly as far as he had if he hadn't learned to assume the worst in people.

"As cheeky as always, aren't you?" Aizen chuckled slightly, his voice as cheery as ever, but Ichimaru knew that his taicho had far more to say. "Now tell me Gin, do you find my little present to you unsatisfactory?"

"Unsatisfactory how, Aizen-sama?"

"Well, to put it simply, you haven't fucked him yet."

Ichimaru was not particularly fazed by these words. He was no fucking saint either. However, he did find it slightly hypocritical on Aizen's part to demand that everyone speak in a respectful manner while he himself had no intention of doing so, but such were the ways of a demigod. Equality was not something so easily grasped.

"I did not realize there was a time limit." His voice was calm. It had to be at this moment, and Aizen would expect no less from him.

"Surely not, however I believe your purpose for requesting the boy in the first place was for that very reason, was it not?"

"Are ya tha one assuming now, Aizen-sama?"

"Is it your place to question whether I am or not?" The tension was becoming more and more evident with each passing phrase, and still they kept their voices as calm as if they were discussing tea.

"I would not dream o' it. I was merely curious." He took a step closer to his taicho, and immediately after he did so he felt the gentle press of Aizen's reiatsu on him. It surrounded him, and cradled him, threatening sweetly to suffocate him, still he did not falter in his steps. "I was merely waitin' fer an appropriate time ta break tha child, Aizen-sama." He had to choose his words carefully at this moment.

Aizen's interest seemed peaked by the words as he sat up a little straighter in his chair, his chin no longer lazily supported by his chin. "Is that so? Well, then please continue on explaining this devious little plan or yours, Gin."

"He has a strong 'ittle spirit, Aizen-sama. His will is not so easily broken. Tha's why fuckin' 'im right away would 'o virtually done nothing ta 'im besides give 'im another reason ta keep on fightin'. So, I wanted ta gain his trust first. That way when it came time ta do what I wanted to him, there would be no hope fer repair." They were simple, perfectly chosen words. He had always been good at talking, at fighting and manipulating through his words, and this time was no different, yet still, he had to wonder why they left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"You really are rather extraordinary, my Gin. The way you think, the way you form plans, all of them revolving around the idea of destruction. It is almost the definition of the word sadistic. This little plan of yours is no different. It suggests that you have absolutely no feelings about what happens to your little pet, and I would believe every word of what you say, commend you on it even, if I didn't know that every word of it was a lie."

Ichimaru froze. For one sickening minute his world stopped, and this would have been fucking hilarious any other time, but now, in this moment, nothing was even remotely funny about this situation.

"Ya think I'm lyin?"

"I know you're lying. Now don't get me wrong, Gin, I believe your intentions may have started out that way, but now I think you have an entirely different reason for waiting to take that boy."

"And what might that be, Aizen-sama?"

"You're in love with him." If he would have been any different then he was, he would have sputtered at those words. It wasn't a very feasible idea. He wasn't entirely sure that he was even capable of the emotion. In fact, he was pretty sure that he wasn't. He almost laughed at those words…almost. However it wasn't the thought of Aizen ripping out his vocal cords that stopped him. Aizen would never do something so dirty anyways. No, he didn't laugh because he knew that something about those words, and what they meant, was nothing that he should be laughing at. He just didn't know why he had that feeling.

Interesting.

"Forgive me, but I think yer mistaken."

"No, I don't think I am, Gin. I think that is the only reason you haven't fucked him six ways to Sunday by now. I think you want him to want you as much as you want him, and I think the thought him not absolutely loving every moment of you thrusting into that tight little body of his, kills you. You want him to put his arms around your neck and positively scream into your ear how much he wants this and how much he needs you. You're willing to wait until he loves you just as much as you love him. That's why you refuse to share him. That's why you threatened Nnoitra, and that's why you burst into here against every fiber of the loyalty you have for me, because the thought of my fingers inside of him, the thought of my cock inside of him, the thought of me _hurting_ him, was too much for you to handle. You love him, you love him enough to throw away a hundred years of loyalty. I'm not sure you even know what you're feeling, so that's why I've chosen to enlighten you. So tell me Gin, when did you grow that pathetic little heart of yours?"

He wasn't sure what to say. All those years of perfectly calculating his words. All those years of knowing the exact thing to say in order to manipulate a situation, all boiled down to this…and he didn't know what to say. The things Aizen said, the way he described the first time he would take Hitsugaya, was true. He did want the little brat begging him, wanting him, needing him. He wanted every fiber of who Hitsugaya was to belong to him, but that didn't mean he wanted to belong to Hitsugaya just as much. That wasn't how it was supposed to work. It wasn't supposed to end up like this. This wasn't how he functioned. Ichimaru Gin was many things, but this was not one of them.

"Shall we agree to disagree then, Aizen-sama?" He smiled, because for the moment he didn't know what else to do.

The mightiest fall the furthest.

"Don't be snide, Gin."

"That was never my intention, Taicho."

"You lie so easily."

"I was taught by tha best."

"I disagree. I believe lying comes as naturally to you as breathing air. That's why this is so difficult for you now. I can read you just as easily as you can read me, and I know you don't think what I say is true. I know you're fighting it with every ounce of misguided dignity you possess, because you're as good at lying to yourself as you are to everyone else."

"Have I so greatly offended ya?" He asked, eager to cut to the chase, feeling like a child being told something that he didn't want to hear.

"You cannot be offended by something that you expected."

"Then, would I be so bold as ta presume we're done, o' are ya gonna kill me fer my insolence?" He was treading on thin ice here. Playing with a type of fire that could do so much more than just burn him, but he had spent his whole life playing this game, so why stop now? Who would expect any less from Ichimaru Gin?

"Of course I'm not going to kill you, Gin. Do you know why?"

"Because I'm a valued piece in yer 'ittle game, taicho." For once since entering the room, he felt that his smirk was real. If this was the game, then he already knew the rules.

"No."

He froze.

"What?"

"I said no, Gin. Do you really think that I value you that much? Well, of course you do, after a hundred years who wouldn't? Still, you're wrong though. You are expendable, Gin. I keep you around because you suit my wishes, but that does not mean that I hold you at a higher regard then I hold any of my other pawns…my other toys. What did you think? That I would mourn your death like a lover when you get killed? Or that I would nurture you back to health if you become frail and of no use to me? Do you think that I hold any type of feeling for you at all? You are talented, strong and perfect for fulfilling parts of my plan, but you are insignificant for the end result. You are nothing without me and you are nothing to me. You are my right hand man, that is true, but you are still an insect riding on the heels of a giant, and that is all you will ever be to me. My perfect little tool to be used until you are broken, and then thrown away without a second thought for what it might do to you. Learn your place, Gin. You may be above most, but you are still below me, and I hold no affection for such things."

At that moment, Nnoitra's words rang clearly in his head.

"_And what does that make you, Ichimaru? Do you really think you're any different? Or is that your mistake as well?"_

He should have expected this. He should have known that even though he had given his life to this man, he was still a tool. He should have calculated it. He should have realized. How could he think that he was a commodity? He should have known. Yet, why did he feel such a disarming pain in his chest, breaking down everything that he had built up? What was this? What in fuck's sake was this? He had given everything, and now all that was left of him was power and an empty smile, and nothing else. He was so fucking smart and yet so fucking stupid. How had he not realized?!

"Then why am I still alive?" He was entirely amazed that his voice was still the same as ever, as if none of those words had registered to him, even though every single one of them had, a million times over.

"Because I always love a good show, and you always put on a hell of a show."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I think you understand more then you let on. You were never dumb, my pet." There was silence and he refused to break the eye contact he held with the god before him. Refused to waver. However, Aizen simply smiled at him. "It hurts doesn't it?"

"Elaborate, Aizen-sama."

"It hurts knowing that this is what your life boils down to. Everything you've done, my favorite little pet, and still only ever a pet. You may be a sadistic monster, but there are still those pesky little things called human emotions inside of you. I wonder if you feel as pathetic as I perceive you to be."

"What make ya think I wont betray ya now?" He didn't know why he said this. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he spoke without thinking.

"Why, that's simple, it's because this is all you've ever known. Death, manipulation, destruction…it's who you are and you'll never turn your back from it, from me."

Ichimaru bowed his head, his silver hair falling down in front of him, a show of respect he was all too familiar with, and still he smiled, because it was the only part of himself that he could hold onto. "Ya may very well be right, Aizen-sama."

"See, that's my smart little boy. You a free to go now, Gin. Please, don't interrupt me again, I do not want to have to repeat this conversation."

"I wouldn't dream o' it, Taicho." With that he turned on his heel, not looking back at his master, feeling that Aizen had taken so much more from him than just his life. He took proud, sure steps, each one as difficult as the first, and still his hands were shaking. He closed the door quietly behind him, and began to make his way towards another one, his heart beating faster with each step, almost as if it feared if it didn't beat as fast as possible, it would just stop altogether.

He only had one destination in mind, and he was hell bent on getting there and showing his perfectly destructive little chibi the consequences of the effect that Aizen's words had had on him.

Both of them were going to be feeling pain before this was all over.


	13. Words, Words, Words

Disclaimer: Do not own.

A/N: Ha! I got this one out sooner then usual because it's Mother's Day. Yes, my mother reads my naughty stuff. Tee hee. Anyways, the boys may be a little more out of character then usual but that's only because something had to give! I still tried to keep them recognizable. You guys know how much of a stickler I am for IC. I hope you enjoy.

Thank you to my reviewers! You know I love you lovelies, and I promise I will soon take the time to thank you all individually like I used to.

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Words, Words, Words

He sat huddled at the foot of his bed, his knees pressed to his chest and his arms wrapped around them, his small hands fisted in the white fabric of his pants. His teal eyes focused solely on the door in front of him, lost in a sort of trance. He felt small like this, even more so then usual. It caused a contradiction of emotions to swell inside of him. The feel of the fabric kneaded between his fingers, his sheets scrunched up under his toes, and the erratic rhythm of his heart beating through his chest and against his knees was almost comforting in a way. It grounded him, connected him to a world that he felt utterly lost in, and yet it reminded him of his insignificance. It taunted and tormented him with silent words of justified degradation, and not for the first time he was reminded of who he used to be. He had had power. He had been able to fight. He had been able to validate his reasons for the respect that he had demanded, because he had _deserved _it.

He had deserved it.

Now…now he was nothing. He was a mere plaything for those who were more powerful and far crueler then he could ever hope or want to be, and he knew it. The same words in different variations repeated over and over in his head. _You are nothing. You are pathetic. _Different phrases all with the same meaning, and still, he was aware enough to realize that the fact that he had spent the last few weeks--or months, he wasn't sure-- harping on his own demise from a state of power was pathetic in its own right, and if he had been just a little more like his captor he would have perhaps chuckled at that.

But he didn't laugh. He didn't have the stomach for it. So instead he stared at the door.

Still, the one thing that he could not get over at this very moment was the fact that though he was utterly defeated and helpless and trapped in a world that he could not defend himself in, none of that truly seemed to matter at the moment. No, the only thing that mattered, though it terrified him to admit it, was whether or not a certain fox would be walking through that very door that now held his rapt attention.

He…wanted to see him, needed it even. He needed the proof that Ichimaru was alright, that the fucker hadn't throw his loyalty out the window and been severely punished for it. He wanted to see him alive, not dead on the cold floor of this hellhole or fucked into nothingness by that monster. No, no, he had to see him, because he wanted answers. He wanted to know why. He wanted an honest answer from the master of lies about why he had risked everything for Hitsugaya. He felt he had to have it like he had to have his next breath of air, because he wasn't going to let a demon save his life and not understand the reason behind it.

May the Gods damn him, he wanted Ichimaru to walk through the door even more then he wanted to get out of this eternal nightmare.

And he was ashamed for it.

Ashamed, because there was still that small part of who he used to be that screamed out for his hatred, that still reminded him of everything that man had done to him. That voice pleaded with him to realize that whether or not Ichimaru had saved his life the man was still sin personified behind shut eyes and a wide smile, and for that reason he did not deserve Hitsugaya's concern.

And Hitsugaya was no longer listening to that voice. It grew weaker and weaker in its conviction to the point where Hitsugaya could only hear it enough to be ashamed for his actions, but not swayed to act otherwise. He was no longer Hitsugaya Toshiro, captain of the 10th division in the elite Gotei 13.

He was a nameless boy, trapped in a room, scared shitless for the man that never failed to make his heart race.

He could not specify how he felt towards Ichimaru Gin, and even when he tried to think of the proper phrase for these emotions the words grew sticky in his throat like bile…and yet, it did not change the way he felt. Even if he could not name it, it was there, confusing the whole living fuck out of him and making his knees weak.

So that's why, when that door finally opened and in stepped the man who had taken everything he was away from him, he did not think. He did not even hesitate as he pushed himself off the bed and threw his petite arms around that thin waist. He didn't even realize he had done it until he felt the soft fabric of Ichimaru's robe pressed against his cheek, and even when he did realize, despite feeling slightly sickened by his actions, he did not pull away and instead hid the blush that grew rapidly on his cheeks in the folds of Ichimaru's clothes.

He did not look up. He couldn't, not yet.

"You fucking bastard, why the hell would you do that!?" Were the only words that he could think to say that he would actually allow to leave his mouth. They were muffled slightly by the fabric.

"Are ya blind, chibi?" He stiffened at those words. Something was wrong, he could tell by the tone of Ichimaru's voice. Finally he did look up and his teal eyes were met with wide crimson ones and something in that expression, devoid of any hint of amusement, shattered his heart completely. There was not a scratch on the man, no mark of torture, and yet he was broken, Aizen had broken him and Hitsugaya felt himself breaking as well and he cursed himself for it, because it seemed that finally Ichimaru had lost, finally the man had gotten everything he had deserved, and it was killing Hitsugaya.

"What did he do to you?" Hitsugaya rasped out, his voice betraying him as he was held in place by those eyes, so rarely seen and so full of pain.

"Does it truly matter ta ya?" Again that voice, that nearly emotionless voice that sent dread coursing through him. He didn't know how to respond to that question. He didn't trust himself to answer.

Yes, god dammit, of course it matters!

"You risked your life for me."

Before he could think he was pressed harshly up against one of the walls, his body hoisted up and his legs forced to wrap around Ichimaru's waist. His breath had caught in his throat and he nearly choked on the bitter surprise. Never had Ichimaru been so rough with him. Never had he shown no care when handling Hitsugaya. His back stung as he felt some of his wounds reopen and he hissed in pain, and the only thing that brought him some form of comfort was the look of equal agony reflected in the red eyes that stared intently into his own, only this pain was nowhere near physical.

"Ya think it was only my life, brat?" There was anger, anger and resentment that he had never heard in those words.

"I would know it you told me!" Hitsugaya shot back, his legs still wrapped around the other man's waist and he didn't even take the time to wonder why he didn't try to struggle out of that firm hold. He could always blame it on the pain later anyways.

"O' Neko, don' assume that I owe ya anything." Ichimaru hissed, his breath fanning hotly across Hitsugaya's lips, making the smaller form shiver uncontrollably. "Don' assume that ya mean enough ta me fer me ta feel obligated ta tell ya anything.

"You're lying!"

Hitsugaya gasped at his own words, wishing almost immediately that he could take them back. He wasn't sure why he said it, or what Ichimaru's reaction would be, but the words had left his mouth before he had time to stop them, and now that there was no taking them back, he might as well say it all.

"You're lying to me, you bastard. Is that all you can do is hide behind your deceitful words? Have you ever once told the truth in your entire life!? You can toy with me. You can torment me, but don't save my life and then tell me that I mean absolutely nothing to you. Don't do that, don't fucking l-"

His vision clouded as he felt his head crack against the wall from the force of the slap. His hand rose to his cheek, his eyes widening as he felt the heat of the sting against the skin of his hand. He was still balanced between the wall and Ichimaru's body, his legs still wrapped around the fox man's waist. He didn't speak, he didn't do anything as he turned his head to look at Ichimaru, his eyes wide and questioning. Ichimaru looked almost as shocked as Hitsugaya did, his long, pale hand still held high from where he had slapped Hitsugaya. His breathing was slightly harsh and Hitsugaya felt any anger he might have felt slowly dissipate as he took in the other man's expression. He had never seen this person before. This was not Ichimaru standing in front of him. It may have looked like him, spoke like him, and smelled like him, but this was not a side of him that Hitsugaya had ever seen. Ichimaru was all-knowing, and this man seemed lost. He jumped slightly when he felt Ichimaru's fingers gently cup his cheek, but he did not pull away.

"What do ya want me ta say, Shiro-chan?" Ichimaru breathed out, his voice low, almost dangerous. "Do ya want me ta tell ya that I want ya? That I've wanted ya from tha moment I saw that beautiful little body o' yers and that snotty attitude? That I've memorized yer scent? Yer face? The exact color o' yer eyes? Do ya want me ta run my fingers through yer hair and tell ya that ya mean more ta me then anything else in tha world? That you're worth throwing away everything I've built fer myself? Is that what ya want ta hear? Is that what will make yer knees wobble and yer cock harden? Is that the truth ya want, ya little bitch?

"That's not what I said! Don't put words into my mouth." Hitsugaya panted out in a near panic, Ichimaru's words sending a pang of desperation down his spine.

"Now who's lyin', Shiro?" There was dark amusement in Ichimaru's voice and Hitsugaya wasn't sure whether he should be relieved or terrified that that wide grin was back in place and a glimmer of the usual Ichimaru was starting to show through once more. "If yer gonna demand honesty from me, then it's only natural if I demand tha same from ya. So, tell me, are those tha words ya wanna hear?"

"Ichimaru, I-"

"Are they o' are they not?"

"Yes." Hitsugaya said after a moment of hesitation and he could feel Ichimaru stiffen around him. "If those words are true then yes, I want to hear them." He spoke softly, his heart beating too loud in his ears for him to hear them, but he was positive that Ichimaru did. It was his turn to stiffen as he heard Ichimaru chuckle.

"Is that so? Well then, it's too bad that lyin' is tha only thing I truly know how ta do."

"Tell me. Tell me why you saved me." He was frustrated, pissed to shit that this man refused to give him a straight answer. It wasn't just that he felt he owned Hitsugaya, there was more to it. There had to be!

"Call it a whim."

"Bullshit!"

"Always, Taicho."

Hitsugaya's breath hitched as he felt one of Ichimaru's cool hands begin to slide up under his shirt, bringing the material up along with it. This time he did try to squirm out of Ichimaru's hold, even as his fingers left trails of hot fire in their wake. He was quickly stilled by Ichimaru's other hand quickly coming down to clasp his hip and hold him firmly in place.

"Play nice now, Yuki-hime."

Hitsugaya cried out softly as he felt his shirt being lifted completely over his head only then to be used as leverage to bind his arms together. He began to shake violently as Ichimaru removed his hand from his hip to circle one pink nipple, and against his own volition he threw his head back against the wall at the sensations it sent coursing through his body.

"Ya got tha prettiest little nipples, Shiro-chan. Look at tha way they respond ta me."

He gritted his teeth at the taunting in those words and he was brought to his senses as he tilted his head forward to glare at Ichimaru.

"Bastard, what in the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"I woul' think it woul' be quite obvious." Ichimaru whispered against his lips before the silver haired man bent his head to take the bud he had just been teasing into his mouth. It was like electricity was sent through every part of Hitsugaya's petite form as he spasmed in the man's arms, His legs unconsciously tightening around Ichimaru's waist as he let out a yelp of surprised pleasure. He barely registered the feel of Ichimaru's grin against his skin before a single finger grazed down his abdomen to trace teasingly around his belly button as Ichimaru's tongue continued to flick skillfully against the tightening skin in his mouth.

He couldn't handle this. It was too hot. His body was on fire and that asshole was touching him in ways no one else had ever dared to do. He felt his arousal begin to climb as his usually loose pants began to tighten under the strain. He knew Ichimaru could feel it. There was no way to hide it with those thin pants and Ichimaru was too perceptive anyways.

"Looky looky, kitty." Ichimaru crooned before pressing forward, his hips rubbing sensuously against Hitsugaya's own in indication that he had indeed felt what Hitsugaya had feared, and the small captain knew that his cheeks were reddening as he let out a whimper at the heat that threatened to suffocate him.

"Ichimaru, stop!" He cried out desperately, knowing somehow that if it didn't stop now it might not ever.

Ichimaru lifted his head to look at him, and even though for a moment he seemed like the old Ichimaru, Hitsugaya could tell that there was an air of impatience and frustration surrounding him.

"Is that all ya can ever say, taicho? If I'm only good at lyin' are ya only good at beggin'?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because even though ya will never admit it. Even though you constantly beg me ta stop, ya want this. Ya want me more than anything ya hav' ever wanted, and I'm tired o' waitin' fer ya ta say it."

"No-"

"No. No more waitin'. Ya want tha truth? Well, then let me lay it down perfectly clear fer ya. I hurt, more than I ever hav' in my entire life, and right now ya can make it stop o' ya can hurt along with me. So, what's it gonna be, Toshiro?"

He stilled at those words and simply stared into the eyes that refused to break contact with him, eyes that needed an answer almost as much as he needed one, and maybe it was because Ichimaru had finally said his name without the teasing behind it or maybe it was the confession that Ichimaru was able to feel anything other than greed, but Hitsugaya's lips could no longer form the word "no". His eyes slid closed as Ichimaru dipped his head to brush his lips against the skin of his neck, his tongue darting out to taste him.

"Tell me." Ichimaru whispered, his lips trailing upwards to tease the skin of his ear.

"What?" Hitsugaya breathed, his eyes still closed as he fought internally for the strength to hold onto his newly found conviction.

"Tell me you want me." Hitsugaya's lips parted as Ichimaru bit down on the sensitive skin of his ear. His mouth was suddenly so dry, the words stuck in his throat, but then Ichimaru said it. Said the word that sounded so strange coming out of the man's mouth, the word that tipped proud Hitsugaya-taicho over the edge.

"Please."

There was absolute silence as both of them breathed deeply, and then…

"I want you."

Hitsugaya didn't have time to regret the words before lips were pressed against his own and his mouth was claimed in a soul-stealing kiss.


	14. Question: Please Read

Hey guys, so you might have guessed that this is not a chapter, but I swear I am not trying to tease you guys and a new chapter will be up sometime within the week. However, I have a question to ask. My other story, Definition of Piety, is my only other story that has a full fledged lemon in it. When I posted that chapter that contained the sex scene in it, I posted it in its entirety on AdultFanfiction, but censored it for this website, opting instead to just post the unedited scene in my LiveJournal, which is easily accessible from my account. However, that seemed to hurt my review responses, which I was really banking on for that chapter considering I was extremely nervous about. Now for this story, which is about to make the jump to hardcore NC-17, I'm not sure what to do. Should I just do like I did last time and post the uncensored version in my LJ, which you all have access to, or take the risk of posting it here? I don't know, truly, I'm afraid that I will get suspended from the website, like I've seen happen to other authors and lose years of stories and hard work. What is your opinion? Will you guys still review if I post the sex scene in my LJ, or should I take the risk and do it here? Please, let me know. I would really appreciate it.

Peace and love,

TillThatTime


	15. Drowning

**A/N: READ IF YOU WANT THE LEMON!**! Hello there, loves! So, after much consideration and the majority of the reviews telling me to do so, I have decided to edit this chapter. Honestly, I was never very comfortable with the idea of posting an unedited lemon to begin with, and I know I'm probably being silly and that I probably wouldn't be suspended, but for me it's not worth the risk. Besides, I've made it really simple for you to read the lemon anyways. I've posted it on Aff, but if you are not able to get to that site, all you have to do is click on my penname above, enter my profile, and click on the link that says "Link to my LiveJournal" it will take you directly to the very page that has the lemon, no searching for it, because it's right there. The page is open to the public and you do NOT have to have a live journal to view it. Simple, right? If you somehow still have problems, then just email me and I will personally email you the unedited chapter, ok? So, is everyone ok with that? Also, I do plead for you to still review, because I'm always nervous about lemons, and I need your support, but I understand that by editing this chapter the number of reviews will probably dwindle. So, thank you to all who answered my question, especially DoYouFindMeDreadful, who offered to take herself down with me if I was reported. That rocked! Anyways, I love you all, and I hope you enjoy this steamy little present…if it's any good.

Love,  
TillThatTime

Drowning

He was drowning, drowning in liquid heat.

There was a tongue running along the seam of his lips, not pushing, not forcing, and somehow so much more demanding because of that. It was wet sin teasing him lazily into submission, and he was parting his lips, opening his mouth, letting the warm muscle enter and destroy and rebuild him completely. He was groaning out of his throat and into that mouth, tilting his head and grasping his bound hands at nothingness.

That is what this kiss did to him.

That is what this man's kiss did to him. It devoured him. As his tongue was sucked in between two thin lips and his inexperience was proven by the way he tried to participate but was just so overwhelmed that his own tongue was pushed and pulled and sucked as if it were attached to the strings of a marionette and this man was controlling everything.

Gods, he was drowning. There was no hope for him, and he couldn't call out for help, couldn't beg to be saved because his mouth no longer belonged to him. It belonged completely to the silver haired fox that claimed him with a swift bite to his plump lower lip that had him gasping and reminded him that he no longer had the will to fight this anymore.

There was nothing coming to save him, and he didn't want to be saved anyways. He had sealed his fate with his words, an affirmation of the very idea that he could possibly need this man as much as his body screamed that he did. He was a captain, proud, undeniably talented and strong, and currently whimpering into a mouth filled with sweet heat and lies.

So, he was drowning, and he no longer wanted nor knew how to breathe. To hell with it anyways, did it even really matter anymore?

There was a smooth, cool hand cupping his cheek. It was tilting his head to the side, directing him in where to go next, because he honestly didn't know and he just squeezed his eyes shut even tighter and thought about how hot his skin felt. Is this what sin felt like? Like burning fire licking at every part of him that had been exposed?

Who was he anymore if he wasn't those teeth and that tongue and chapped lips?

And then those lips were leaving his and he was following them with his own even as he inhaled sharply for the breath that he had been deprived of. His eyes opened slowly, hazy from an emotion he could not name and he looked into the face of his captor and savior. A face that now belonged to him, forever imprinted in his mind.

He breathed deeply, desperately, his mouth open as air circulated into his lungs, and even still he would have given up breathing if it meant he could have those lips on his again, and he didn't even want to think about what that urge implied.

Crimson eyes stared into his own teal ones, and for a moment that was enough. There were no need for words, no need, because they would only taint the air anyways.

But then Ichimaru was speaking and he had to force his mind to clear in order to understand anything he was saying.

"I see no regret in yer eyes."

"I see none in yours either." Hitsugaya spoke slowly, not completely trusting his voice at the moment.

"I gave up on that feelin' long ago." Was the simple reply that he received, and only then did he notice that long fingers were still cupping his face, tracing nonsensical designs on his cheekbone.

"I don't believe you."

"Do ya ever, hime?"

"Don't call me that, dammit!" He growled, debating on just how to retaliate. Considering his current position, it would either have to be verbal or a swift head butt.

"Would you prefer, Hitsugaya-taicho?"

Anything he might have said or done was cut off by that statement. His heart sinking slightly at the words. No, he would not prefer that. He didn't deserve that title anymore. Not when he begged for the relief that only a traitor could give. He looked away, his eyes searching the white room for something, anything to look at, but he didn't have much time as the hand on his cheek began to push his face, urging him to look back at a villain.

"Do ya feel regret now?"

His eyes widened, caught in the idea that perhaps there was a hint of desperation in Ichimaru's voice beneath the amusement-laced words.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Try to make me hate you."

"Would ya know what ta do if I didn't?"

He thought for a moment, waded through the cryptic formation of those words.

"I…wouldn't know who you were if you didn't"

"Tell me ya want me again."

"I…" He swallowed thickly, noticing that it didn't get any easier.

"Don' be shy, chibi. Come now, it's only yer pride that ya must surrender ta me."

Hitsugaya chuckled then, the sound mirthless even to his own ears. "It is my pride that is the foundation of everything I am. You are nothing without your façade and I am a stranger without my pride."

Instead of speaking, Ichimaru trailed his fingers down the exposed chest of his little captive, tracing the ribs and the ridges of his seemingly delicate skin. To Hitsugaya the act appeared almost affectionate and he turned his head away once more, a blush forming brightly on his cheeks as he tried to steel his nerves once more. He had more to say, more that he wanted to express and even though he knew this was wrong, knew that he was becoming a traitor in his own right, betraying the people he had sworn to follow loyally, he still had to speak, for these were words that would no longer be hushed.

"I do not regret, Ichimaru, even though I wish for nothing more. You have won, you have made me hate everything that I have become under your hands. I know nothing now except what I know of you and even still, even though you have…" He trailed off, struggling with the words. Not willing to openly express just how much this man had broken him down, so instead he turned his eyes back to Ichimaru and took a deep breath. "…I want you…I wish to the gods that I didn't, that I had the will or even the urge to kill you, but I do not. I do not regret you."

There was expression in those blood eyes, it was brief and hard to read, but it was there before Ichimaru was reigning in his control and smirking at the small captain hoisted in his arms.

"Ya really have lost yerself, haven' ya? Where's tha big, bad taicho, hmmm? Where are yer claws? Don' tell me I've completely ruined ya."

Hitsugaya could feel anger seeping into him that hadn't really been there since Ichimaru had entered the room. His body shook with it and his eyes narrowed in wrath as Ichimaru's narrowed in amusement.

"Dammit, just do what you came in here to do, or fuck off!" He fumed, wishing at that moment that he had his arms free so he could punch that grin off that pointed face.

"What thing is that?"

"Stop playing dumb asshole, you know what I mean!" He snapped back, feeling like this was a surreal dream that could not possibly be actually happening.

"Yes, I do, but I wan' ta hear ya say it." Hitsugaya cringed at the chuckle that followed that statement.  
He choked on the words, blushing a deep shade of red as he struggled to say exactly what he knew was about to happen.

"Just…just fuck me and get out" He said it lowly, trembling slightly in irritation and immense embarrassment, refusing to look up into eyes that he knew were filled with barely contained glee. Dammit, the bastard had won again. He always seemed to. And now there was no denying what they both knew was bound to happen, because Hitsugaya had said it, had finally confirmed with words that he never thought that he would be able to utter and there was no going back.

He gasped slightly when long fingers firmly grasped his chin and his head was jerked up and he was once more forced to look at the face that had murdered and rebuilt him.

"I think ya got it wrong, hime. I'm not jus' gonna fuck ya. Don' throw it around so lightly. Don' think that it's jus' yer body that I want. I'm gonna claim every inch of ya, devour ya, consume ya, until ya no longer know any name but mine, not even yer own. Ya will no longer know where ya end and I begin, and ya wont care because it will no longer matter. I am gonna fuck ya, take away that precious virginity that ya so pathetically cling to, but I'm also gonna make love ta ya, o' at least tha closest thing ta makin' love as someone like me is capable of. Every breath, pant, moan, scream, tremble and squeeze of yer tight little body around my cock will be because of me. I will make ya forget yer shame. Ya say ya want to hate me, but by the end ya wont even know tha meanin' ta that word anymore. That is what I'm gonna do ta ya, and afterwards I am gonna do it again."

Hitsugaya didn't know what he should say to that. Ichimaru was always able to do that, always able to shock him and steal away the words that he knew he should say. Ichimaru always kept him dangling, always left him caught on the edge between laughing and crying in hysterics that brought the shame that Ichimaru now promised to take away, to rid him of completely, but was that even possible? Hitsugaya didn't see how. He would never be ready for this, never fully understand or be prepared for what he was facing, but there was no more time left and he couldn't, wouldn't say no in the face of the broken, devilish man who had saved his life.

"Ya've sealed yer fate, Hitsugaya-taicho."

"I know." He whispered, his head unconsciously tilting into the hand that was once again cupping his cheek.

"Ya always were a smart boy."

"Are you reminded?"

"O' what?"

"Yourself."

Ichimaru giggled at that, shaking his head like Hitsugaya was a small child who had just said something naïve and cute.

"I was never like ya. Smart, but never as pure."

"Am I to be as tainted as you now?"

"That wouldn' be possible no matter how hard I tried."

"Do you hate yourself?" Hitsugaya asked slowly, knowing that even though this question may have seemed as if he were stalling the inevitable, it was important nevertheless.

"Silly question." Ichimaru leaned down to nuzzle his face in the crook of Hitsugaya's neck, and Hitsugaya briefly wondered if the man was hiding as he fought for control of his breathing as Ichimaru's lips brushed teasingly along his pulse point.

"One that you won't answer?"

"That would only spoil tha fun." Ichimaru's breath when he spoke tickled his skin and he bit his lip harshly to keep any noises at bay.

His hands were now released and they fell limply to his sides, his legs still wrapped around Ichimaru's thin waist, the man's support being the only thing that was keeping him from falling to the ground. Hitsugaya thought it was a bit ironic.

His shirt that had already been opened and used to keep his hands bound was being slid off slowly by sensuous hands. He watched in a daze as it fell lightly in a heap on the floor, already forgotten and unimportant, and Hitsugaya shivered slightly as his entire upper body was completely exposed. It shouldn't have felt as intimate as it did, but then again, nothing made sense when it came to Ichimaru.

"Now, my hime, prepare yerself. No more waiting."

"I will never be prepared."

"For high treason?"

"For you."

"Don' lie, Hitsu-chan, ya were prepared tha minute ya looked ta me ta save ya from tha espada."

A small, emotionless smile came to Hitsugaya's face at those words.

"You're right. It was over for me the minute I accepted the mission."

"Would it help if I tried ta be nice and said that I wanted ya too?"

"I already know that."

"Tryin' ta be coy?"

"I wouldn't know how."

"I beg ta differ." And then Hitsugaya could only gasp in surprised as he was deftly spun around and suddenly being pressed to the firm mattress of his bed with Ichimaru looming over him. The coolness of the sheets against his bare back was oddly comforting and intimidating at the same time. "No more talk now."

(Lemon is cut off here! If you want to read it but don't know how, go read the author's note at the beginning of the chapter.)


	16. Lover

**A/N: **Thank God, I've finally graduated conservatory! Now I have more time! *Dances* I know I've probably lost a lot of readers because of the long wait but I am eternally grateful to the ones who have stuck with me. I hope you enjoy this chapter (and there WILL be more) I thought these boys needed a chapter of their own, before we got back to our other sexy fiends.

Much Much Love,

TillThatTime

Special thanks to **Alice Fan Club **who left me such a great review (even though you all did, and I promise I will eventually give you all individual thanks) and reminded me that people still read this story and spurred me on for this chapter! *huggles excessively*

P.S. I don't know why, but Grimmjow makes me write the "fuck word" a lot...

* * *

**Lover**

He didn't want to call him his lover.

He didn't want to utter a word that went against everything that one was supposed to believe about a hollow soul. But…shit, that stupid fucking kid and his stupid fucking words that weren't supposed to make any sense at all and yet meant more than he would dare to admit.

"_Do you love him?"_

What the fuck did that even mean? Love him? _Love him? _He couldn't even fathom the idea of it. He was a hollow, a killer, and that word was just an idiotic, meaningless utterance created by worthless humans to describe an emotion he wasn't even capable of comprehending, let alone feeling. He should laugh, he really should. In fact, he should wake up the man lying next time him so they could laugh together…if the man lying next to him was into that sort of thing.

It should be fucking hilarious, it really should.

But there was no twitch of the lips, no hitch in his breath, not any indication at all of laughter, because it wasn't funny. It was so fucking not funny that he could almost laugh out of spite. And he was angry, well he was almost always angry, but right now he was so pissed that he wanted to march down the halls of this shit-hole of a place and wring that little bastard's neck until his pretty head fell off for even suggesting such a thing.

It shouldn't matter. That's what he kept tell himself, over and over again. It shouldn't matter. But for some reason, some reason that he couldn't quite grasp, it did. Oh, and he wanted to grasp it, fully hold the notion in between his fingers so he could crush those stupid ass words in an unforgiving death-grip.

Hollows don't love.

Hollows don't feel.

Hollows don't believe in the idea that they could rely so fully on another being.

It wasn't possible.

It wasn't possible!

So why couldn't he let it go? Why did those words repeat so incessantly in his head, mocking him, making him feel less than he was, even though they were false?

Little shit.

With a huff he turned over onto his side, immediately coming face to face with his bedmate who still seemed to be asleep. The light from the hallway seeped under the door, casting a dim glow in the otherwise dark room and Grimmjow's view of his comrade was unobstructed

Ulquiorra lay sleeping, his features relaxed as his eyes moved beneath his lids as he dreamed. Those pale, plump lips were slightly parted and Grimmjow watched with rapt attention as he saw a pink tongue dart out briefly and unconsciously. Grimmjow's eyes moved to the twin trails of dark green tears that traveled down beautifully flawless cheeks, tears that Grimmjow himself had traced with his tongue so many nights before, training in vain to rid his partner of the unexplained sadness that showed itself upon his face. His eyes traveled past those elegant features and down a graceful neck and white, slim back, unmarred by the scars of fighting that Grimmjow was sure Ulquiorra had left his opponents with, until finally stopping at an almost feminine dip of the lower back, only to have the rest of his view obstructed by his traitorous bed sheets.

He hated them in that moment.

He let his gaze trail back up to that pointed face, and his eyes remained transfixed there. In sleep, Ulquiorra was nothing of what he exuded while awake and everything that Grimmjow claimed to hate. He was innocence personified like this. Pure and delicate, and Grimmjow knew that idea was such bullshit, and yet he craved this look from Ulquiorra, forced himself to wake at ungodly hours just to see it, and though it killed his pride to admit it, it was worth it. It was a sight that few, if any, ever got to witness, and for that, if anything, Grimmjow was thankful, and he would kill any son of a bitch that sought to steal what was his.

To him, Ulquiorra was absolutely breathtaking.

Not that he would ever, EVER say that out loud.

It was stupid, girly shit that he was not prepared to subject himself to.

He growled in the back of his throat, squeezing his eyes shut and taking just a moment to think without the espada lying next to him disrupting his thoughts.

He wasn't sure how this whole thing had even started. He wasn't sure how angry words and open threats, had turned into full blown fits of rage that left Grimmjow gasping on the floor covered in bruises and rage and something else he didn't care to admit with Ulquiorra standing above him, face almost as emotionless as the Quatro Espada probably perceived it to be. And he wasn't sure how those fights had turned into pushing that little fucker up against a wall and stripping him of those white clothes that itched just a little too much and fucking him until he made that infuriatingly apathetic façade crack.

And most of all, the thing that kept him from throwing the little white haired brat's words to the side, was that he didn't know how walls had turned into beds, and bites had turned into licks, and bruising grips had turned into soothing caresses, and cruel words had turned into soft pleas, and how a ruthless fuck had turned into something his lack of a heart was supposed to keep him from understanding.

It wasn't as if this was a one way street either, because if it was, he would have never gotten this far in the first place. Grimmjow was proud but not naive and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wouldn't have been able to push Ulquiorra up against that very first wall if the other arrancar hadn't have wanted it from the very start. Schiffer was submissive, but only in the acts of pleasure. Grimmjow was fully aware that Ulquiorra was his superior in every other regard. Perhaps that was what made it so fucking sweet because he had been the first ever to crack those walls, no one else had ever even come close, and if they had they were no longer alive to talk about it. Grimmjow could tell by the way the slick walls that squeezed his cock were just a little too tight and the breaths that left that elegantly white throat were just a little too ragged. Grimmjow had stepped on uncharted glorious territory and he'd be damned if he was going to leave that place anytime soon. Aizen himself would have to drag him away and even then he'd be willing to fight like the oversized cat that he was in order to stay.

But for fuck's sake that didn't mean he was in love or some shit like that!

No…No! There were plenty of things about Ulquiorra that pissed Grimmjow off. Like that air of superiority that always surrounded him in a fucking vice grip. That fucking superiority that made Grimmjow feel like he was below Ulquiorra even when Ulquiorra was writhing below him.

He remembered only a week ago now when he had wanted to fight that Kurosaki kid. He had wanted to prove his dominance. He had wanted to prove his existence to this entire fucking world. It didn't matter if the kid had some strange power that was stronger than his own. It didn't matter if death would have finally caught up with him and he would have been cradled by the nothingness that it promised. He didn't care if he died by that kid's hands! It meant nothing! He wanted to witness power. Fight it with his own! But Ulquiorra, that bastard, had stopped him, had commanded that Grimmjow stay by his side, had treated him like a fucking child! And for some reason he had obeyed! He had listened, because Ulquiorra's words had sounded almost pleading under his cold, emotionless tone, and he could no longer say no, and now that boy was in a cell somewhere in this prison-like world after having been defeated and captured by Nnoitra and he wouldn't get the chance now. It wasn't fair! Gods, why the fuck had he listened? He wanted to kill something! Wanted to hiss and scream and destroy, because something so precious like a good ol' fashioned beat down had been taken from him, but instead of doing any of that, he had just found himself in Ulquiorra's arms that night, thrusting into that willing body and cursing his bad luck until it didn't even matter anymore.

What in the hell was going on with him? This wasn't who he was! And now he couldn't even get that brat's words out of his head! It just wasn't fucking fair at all!

And what made it worse was the look that he had seen on Hitsugaya's face as soon as he had left Aizen's room. That look of desperation. That look that said that he feared for that fox-man, even if the kid himself didn't acknowledge what it meant to feel that completely frantic over the fate of someone else. Ichimaru owned that boy's soul and if by the way Ichimaru had burst into that room to rescue his little captive was any indication, the feeling was mutual.

It struck something in him, forced empathy into his being because as soon as he saw that petrified look on that young face, he wondered if his own face would be the exact mirror image if Ulquiorra was in the same position as Ichimaru.

But what did that mean for him?

Fuck! He was sick of all these stupid, shitty, _human_ emotions. He was a fucking espada not some prissy little girl! His purpose was to fight and fuck and that was it! Fuck this, fuck all of this!

He flinched when he felt a cool thumb come up to trail across his lip and chin. He jerked his face quickly to the source of the touch and came face to face with the blank features of the very espada that shared his bed and tormented his thoughts. He stared into those emerald eyes for a moment, quickly becoming caught in their depths like so many times before until his eyes trailed down to the thumb that had just been on his skin. It had traces of blood on it, and only then did Grimmjow realize he had been biting his lip so hard in frustration that he was bleeding.

His breath hitched and his eyes narrowed as Ulquiorra lifted his thumb and traced it across his own lips before popping it into his mouth, his eyes never breaking with the pair he currently held captive.

"It's an oddity to see you thinking so hard, Pantera." Ulquiorra's smooth voice cut through the silence and Grimmjow's lips twitched at the use of the pet name. Ulquiorra had started using it shortly after the first time they had had sex and Grimmjow couldn't bring himself to complain considering Ulquiorra used to address him as Basura, and he'd rather Ulquiorra think of him as anything but trash.

"It's that fuckin' kid." He growled, not sure of whether or not he should continue.

"Ichimaru-sama's captive?"

"That's the one."

"Ichimaru has already staked claim to him, and I would not appreciate you bringing another into this bed." Ulquiorra spoke evenly and completely seriously and Grimmjow could only stare at him for a moment before bursting into uproarious laughter that seemed so out of place in the otherwise quiet night. It seemed that Ulquiorra had still not mastered proper conversational skills, keeping everything as blunt as he always had, and Grimmjow found it quite hilarious that for all his genius, Ulquiorra couldn't have been more off the mark.

"Baka, that ain't it." He managed to get out once he had taken a few calming breaths, Ulquiorra watching him unwaveringly the entire time.

"Then speak."

"It's…nothing." Grimmjow sighed, hoping that the other espada would just ignore it and let it drop. It was a false hope.

"You're lying."

"Huh?"

"You're lying, Grimmjow." Ulquiorra said, his fingertips coming up to cup under Grimmjow's chin and forcing the Sexta to look at him, considering he was currently trying to look anywhere but. "I can read you. Something about that child is bothering you. I would prefer for you to simply tell me what it is rather then having to force you to tell me."

"Why?"

"I've already said, it's bothering you."

"Yeah, so?"

"Then it's bothering me." Grimmjow's eyes widened marginally at the words, his breath catching in his chest as Ulquiorra's thumb absentmindedly traced the protrusion of his bottom lip. His eyes fluttered slightly as Ulquiorra leaned in until their lips were almost touching, his breath mingling with Grimmjow's own. Fuck it all if Ulquiorra didn't have just as much effect on his body as he did on his thoughts. Ulquiorra's tongue darted out, catching along Grimmjow's lips, and the Sexta let out a barely noticed groan as he shifted his hips closer to Ulquiorra's own, his stirring erection barely touching against Ulquiorra's own bare one, he repeated over and over in his mind that badass espada's do not whimper in need like little bitches.

"Tell me now, Grimmjow." There was no room for argument in that whispered tone.

"That brat," He took a deep breath. "That brat asked me if I'm in love with ya."

He felt Ulquiorra stiffen immediately and because of the fact that their naked chests were pressed together he could feel the rapid pace at which the smaller man's heart began to beat. There was a stifling silence for a long period of time in which Ulquiorra stared blankly over Grimmjow's shoulder and Grimmjow was about ready to beat his own ass for his stupidity when his partner finally spoke.

"What does that even mean?"

Grimmjow could only stare for a moment, noticing the innocent and almost lost expression that had come over Ulquiorra's face. It seemed the phrase was even more foreign to the hollow in his bed then it was to him.

"I don't know." Was the only answer he could provide and finally Ulquiorra was looking at him once more.

Suddenly and very unexpectedly for Grimmjow, Ulquiorra reached down and grabbed his hand and placed it against his chest and for a second Grimmjow had to marvel at the quickly beating heart that lay just beneath his palm.

"But then, what does it even mean to be hollow? This thing that beats and pumps blood inside my chest, this thing that humans base their entire capacity of feeling on, what is it? Why do beings like us possess it?" Grimmjow didn't even move a muscles as Ulquiorra placed his own hand upon Grimmjow's chest. He was too caught up in the words that shouldn't have even been leaving the other's mouth.

"If I were to rip this thing, this heart, out of your chest, what would happen? Would I simply cease the breath from continuing to pass through your lips, or would I stop mine as well? If your heart were to stop would mine stop along with it? I ask you this because the heart that beats so seemingly worthlessly in my chest, speeds up when yours does, and slows down when yours does, and hurts, physically hurts, at the very thought of yours ceasing to exist. So tell me…tell me what that child's words mean for you and for me."

Grimmjow tried to reign in control of his breathing, tried to reign in control of his heart. This was too much. This was not how it was supposed to be, but no matter how many times he tried to tell himself that, it didn't seem to help. He couldn't escape from those words, couldn't escape from those eyes that shouldn't even have any fucking emotion and yet were currently filled with unnamable one, and Ulquiorra was looking for an answer, and what the fuck was Grimmjow supposed to know about it? How could he answer when he didn't even understand the question?

"I don't know, Ulqui. I don't understand a goddamn word ya just said."

"Neither do I." There was such sincerity in those words and Grimmjow had an irrational urge to shake Ulquiorra and scream that he was an espada and that he should learn to lie every once in awhile.

"Fuck it all. I doesn't matter."

"Is it true that you believe that it doesn't?"

Ulquiorra was looking at him in that way again, with those innocent eyes that didn't belong to a vicious killer, a hollow shell. He wanted to turn away from them. He wanted to find someone to kill, someone to take out this pent up aggression on but instead he just looked back and idly wondered what his own expression must have looked like to Ulquiorra at the moment. He couldn't escape. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to, but how was he supposed to know what he was feeling, what they both were feeling? How was he supposed to know what it meant to be a hollow, what it meant to be soulless, what it meant to be loveless? How was he supposed to know what it meant to be human? Those terms meant nothing to him. He was a passionate, rage filled creature that only wanted to fight, not this sentimental pussy who wanted to hold the heart that beat under his palm fully in his hands and protect it from everyone except for himself... No, even from himself.

He had no answers to give Ulquiorra because he had no answers to give to himself…but that didn't mean that this meant nothing, because if it didn't then he could let Ulquiorra rise from his bed and leave this room and his life without a second thought about it, and that wasn't true at all. It was so far from the truth that it was almost ridiculous, because Grimmjow knew that he would do anything and kill anybody to keep Ulquiorra from leaving his side.

Fuck.

He was met with no resistance as he suddenly rolled over until Ulquiorra was once more beneath him. Ulquiorra didn't hesitate to spread his legs to accommodate the other man, his arms coming up slowly to loop around Grimmjow's neck, surrendering himself completely as he had done so many times before.

"Of course it matters, shit, of course it does." He growled out before swooping down to capture Ulquiorra's pliant lips in a hungry kiss. His teeth nipped harshly into a plump bottom lip and Ulquiorra immediately responded by biting back just as harshly until Grimmjow apologized by running his tongue along the small hurt. He pulled back abruptly, looking into those eyes that he knew better than anyone else. "I don't know what answers ya want from me, and I sure as hell have nothing to give ya, but I do know that if you had a soul, it would belong to me."

Ulquiorra only nodded before raking his nails down Grimmjow's back, the action causing Grimmjow to practically purr against the skin of his neck. "He's a child, Grimmjow, just a silly child."

They both knew those words were a lie, because Hitsugaya was no mere child and what he said was not the silly words of someone who didn't understand, but if it made things better, even if for only a moment, then it was worth the thinly veiled lie.

"I know, I know." Grimmjow bent to take a already hardened nipple into his mouth, flicking it back and forth with his tongue, groaning harshly at the way the body beneath him arched and the grip that had found itself in his hair tightened. In a flurry of want he raised up and grasped Ulquiorra's face between his hands, slamming his hips down and forcing Ulquiorra's mouth to drop open in a silent cry. "I was your first, Ulquiorra, and make sure that you know that I will be your last."

Ulquiorra did not respond with words, but instead threw his head back with a short cry that usually took so much effort on Grimmjow's part to wring from those sinful lips, exposing a pale neck for Grimmjow's pleasure and as he leaned down to ravish that skin and prepare himself once more to sink into that blissful heat, only one thing came to his mind.

His lover was absolutely beautiful.


	17. Decisions

**Disclaimer:** I do not own or make profit.

**A/N:** Holy crap, an update. Ok, this chapter is kind of the eye before the storm. You know, before the metaphorical shit really hits the fan. The sex in this chapter is not edited out…so for god's sake please don't report me. If you have issue with it, tell me first and I'll take it out. Than you so much to everyone who has reviewed, as I've said, without you this story wouldn't exist. with the last chapter I hit the 400+ review mark, and you all have my devotion. Not to shamelessly plug, but I've written another Bleach story and I wouldn't mind some feedback on it. Ha, I'm a loser.

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_Decisions_

The room was dark.

But then again, in a place like this it was always dark.

He could feel hot breath against his neck, drawn in slowly and blow back out just as evenly. He felt the rise and fall of a small chest as it pressed against his side and he pulled the pliant body closer, his eyes wide and unseeing in the darkness of the room. Nothing and no one would come to bother him now, not yet, but still his heart beat viciously against his ribcage in a mocking reminder of the dread he would not let show on the outside.

Life as he had known it for a hundred years would be ending soon. No, it had already ended. There was no more denying, no more pretending that he meant something to a movement he had devoted a century to. He was expendable. So pathetically expandable.

How delightful.

It was almost beautiful really. He didn't think he could have planned it any better himself. To take a child, so talented, so looking for appreciation for a special set of skills, so hungry for the type of power that no mere rank could provide, and convince him to follow you with the promises of praise and equality. It must have been so easy, so ridiculously easy for Aizen to do it. Ichimaru had never trusted one being in his entire life, had always seen everything through unclouded eyes, except for when it came to that man, and that one man, under the false guise of a demigod had been the only person to fuck Ichimaru's life into oblivion.

_Bravo, my lord and savior, bravo._

He was caught between wanting to laugh so hard it would hurt and remembering exactly how to breathe. It was a new feeling, one he had never come across. This feeling…this feeling…of betrayal. It seemed oddly fitting in a way, didn't it? So poetically justified and ironic. The master of deception had played the part of the biggest fool, and for all his genius Ichimaru had never felt like a bigger idiot.

Yet, it was clear to him now, so clear to him that he wondered how in the world he hadn't seen it before. Aizen was the one and only God, to him there would be no room for another to share his throne. He wanted people at his feet, not at his side, and Ichimaru was no exception to that rule.

But what was he supposed to do with this knowledge, this knowledge that his existence boiled down to nothingness? Was he supposed to follow along as he always had, offering his power only to be crushed in the end? Was that all there was left for him to do? Had the great Ichimaru Gin finally fallen into the mud with the worms and the shit and everything else so filthy and pathetic?

Of course, of course. If it was not this life, then he knew of nothing else. This was who he was. Powerful, incredible, ingenious…used.

And even now, he was smart enough to realize his place… and he would smile like he always had, pretend like he always had, even if he couldn't ever breathe properly again.

Still, it burned in his chest, and at times like this, when no one was watching, he didn't have to pretend like he didn't care.

That's why he rose slowly from his lying position on the bed, disentangling himself, careful not to wake the one thing he had left. He walked over to the wall, uncaring of his nudity, and leaned his forehead against its cool surface, trying desperately to control the shaking of his body as Aizen's words taunted him repeatedly in his head.

_Silly, silly child._

His hands rose up slowly to push against the wall, his fingernails digging in harshly, as he gritted his teeth, breathed through his nose and just tried to stay calm. His forehead rubbed harshly against the wall, his hair catching, pulling, and he thought he'd never been this close to losing himself before. When he sucked in air once more a sound ripped itself from his throat, it was almost reminiscent of a choked sob, though no tears of sadness or joy came from his closed eyes because in all his life Ichimaru could not ever remember crying…he wasn't sure he even knew how.

If he was any less of the person that he was he would have jumped when he felt a warm hand press lightly on his naked back. He didn't not turn around as a soft voice spoke from behind.

"Ichimaru?"

"Yer awake? Thought I'd done enough ta keep ya knocked out for at least another six hours." The same taunting tone was back in place and he was working harder than usual to pretend like Hitsugaya had not just seen what they both already knew he had.

"Shut up." It was growled from behind him, and he really did smile at that. He froze when he felt a tentative, small hand close over his own and begin to pull him backwards. "Come on." The command sounded annoyed and pleading at the same time.

His feet carried him in the direction in which Hitsugaya led him, which was back to the bed he had been in moments before. Hitsugaya laid down first, his eyes held Ichimaru's the entire time, before he was pulling the man down to lie next to him. They lay there, facing each other, neither speaking and Ichimaru couldn't help but chuckle slightly at how nervous Hitsugaya looked.

"Not a damn word." The smaller hissed out through gritted teeth and Ichimaru held his hands up in mock surrender, his face almost splitting from his grin.

"Mah mah, how sweet o' ya, chibi, I never knew ya cared so much."

"I never knew you could come so close to breaking down." Hitsugaya shot back, far too seriously for Ichimaru's liking.

"Appearances can be deceivin'."

"No shit." Was the retort and Ichimaru watched unmoving as Hitsugaya contemplated him with uncertainty for a moment before one of his hands slowly rose up and with shaking fingertips he brushed a silver strand of hair away from Ichimaru's eyes. The tiny captain gasped softly when Ichimaru's hand clasped over his own and those small fingers were led to trace thin lips, before Ichimaru drew them into his mouth, sucking on them lightly, his teeth scraping teasingly along the digits. He watched in rapt attention as long lashes closed over those teal eyes and red began to stain Hitsugaya's cheeks. It was amazing, simply amazing to think that he had this much effect in such a simple gesture. He never ever wanted anybody else to witness the look on the young captain's face, especially not the person who owned his life.

"I don't understand you." Hitsugaya said in between breaths, his eyes once more flying open to stare at Ichimaru when he suddenly stopped in his ministrations.

"Ya wouldn' be tha first."

"Fuck, just stop it for a second."

"Stop what?"

"The remarks, the stupid, secretive remarks. Just listen to me for a second." Hitsugaya said the last line softly, his hand once more coming to rest on Ichimaru's cheek. "I don't understand how you could let this happen. I don't know what Aizen did, I don't know if you'll ever even tell me, but he did something, something that has you…fucking _defeated. _I've never seen you like this…like your life just _broke_."

"I've got many years on ya, chibi. There's a lot o' things you ain't seen." Was Ichimaru's response, and he contemplated flipping the boy over and fucking him into the mattress again in order to keep him from talking.

"No, I know this is different. Seeing you a moment ago…hearing you. Something's happened, something not even you ever expected to, and I'm…scared."

Ichiamru laughed at that, watching as Hitsugaya's face changed into one of rage.

"Scared you're going to give up like a fucking coward!" Hitsugaya yelled, petite hands fisting in in Ichimaru's hair, jerking his face forward until there was mere centimeters separating them. "Scared I'm going to lose you and be left alone." It was whispered against his lips, and Ichimaru found it quite interesting that Hitsugaya was able to speak so candidly at the moment, perhaps it was desperation fuelling him on.

"I don' know what ya expect me at say, hime."

"Who is this person?! This person who's in front of me, because it sure as hell isn't who you used to be."

"Don' ya think tha same could be said fer ya?"

"It's your fault that I'm different now, you did this to me!" and suddenly Ichimaru was on top of him, holding him down with his weight.

"And ya think it ain't the same fer me? That yer jus' some innocent bystander and that ya didn' completely _fuck _me up as well? Are ya so naïve ta believe that ya had nothin' ta do with this?"

"I-I…"

"That's right, precious, this ain't no one way street. Aizen-_sama_ may hav' destroyed yer image o' me, but that doesn' change tha fact that he wouldn' o' had ta if it hadn' been fer ya."

Hitsugaya looked…hurt, no that wasn't the right word, he looked downright devastated.

"Are you saying…are you saying that after everything, after everything I've given up to you, you blame me?" Hitsugaya removed himself completely, scooting back away from Ichimaru as if he'd been burnt. "Do I mean that little to you?"

Ichimaru breathed deeply, wondering if he should laugh or scream for the utter stupidity of those words. "Are ya that much o' an idiot, Toshiro? That's the exact opposite o' what I mean. Ain't it obvious? It's not that yer meaningless ta me, it's because I can't let ya go. That I don' ever wanna see anyone else touch ya, that I woul' rather betray my loyalty of a hundred years rather than let anythin' happen ta ya. It's because o' ya that I've gotten so pathetic, but that ain't gonna keep me from holdin' onta ya."

"Ichimaru.." Hitsugaya practically breathed his name out, and Ichimaru was actually shocked when for the first time ever Hitsugaya actually leaned forward and pressed his lips desperately to the thin ones beside him, his hands gripping onto silver hair, his body pressing up against the much larger one beside his.

"Gods, what have you done to me?" He said in between kisses, as Ichimaru flipped them over once more, their naked bodies brushing together in the most intoxicating of ways.

"No less than what ya've done ta me." Ichimaru replied, as he ripped his lips away from the pliant ones below him, before latching onto an already marked neck as he began to make his way down that beautiful body, fully intent on making his young lover scream his name once more. He was stopped abruptly as Hitsugaya's hands held onto his shoulders.

"Wait." The word was said shyly, so unlike how the captain had acted only moments before.

"What is it?"

"I want to try something." Hitsugaya said slowly, looking about ready to kill himself from painfully obvious embarrassment. To say Ichimaru was curious was an understatement. How interesting.

"Be my guest." He said teasingly, holding his hands up to indicate that he was ready to comply.

"Let me just, uh, let me just flip us over." Ichimaru chuckled before snaking his hands under Hitsugaya's body, grasping onto his lovely ass cheeks and flipping them over so Hitsugaya was on top of them. He loved the way Hitsugaya attempted to glare at him at the same time as he arched into those hands.

Hitsugaya studied him for a moment, obviously debating on whether or not to continue before he hesitantly lowered his head and placed a chaste kiss upon one of Ichimaru's collarbones. The fox man froze under him. If he was right about where this was possibly leading then his little chibi was far more surprising than he may have originally guessed. He held himself back from speaking, knowing fully well that any taunts, no matter how fun they might be, would completely shatter this rather wonderfully fragile moment.

Hitsugaya paused for a moment until he felt Ichimaru relax under him before he placed another tentative kiss, this time on Ichimaru's chest. He looked up for a second, his teal eyes catching with Ichimaru's own, as if asking for the permission he already knew he was going to get before his lips fell on one of Ichimaru's nipples. They just kind of rested there for a moment before his pink tongue slowly eased out to trace the sensitive flesh in a rather good imitation of something Ichimaru had done to him quite a few times now. He smiled in a silent triumph when Ichimaru jerked under him slightly, before moving his head to pay the other nipple the same kind of adoration.

Once they were sufficiently hard under his touch, he took a deep breath and once more began to make his way down, pausing to nip at Ichimaru ribcage, hearing the sharp intake of breath the action produced. He grew bolder and more confident in his actions as his tongue traced around Ichimaru's belly button before dipping inside as his fingers came up to trace the line of hair that led downwards. However, he grew shy once more as he came face to face with his original intentions. He let his head rest on Ichimaru's hip bone for a moment and the man lay perfectly still for as Hitsugaya just stared at the erection that was already straining to be touched.

Making up his mind, he reached out a shaking hand, closed his eyes and grasped the appendage. It felt…incredible in his palm, hot and heavy, like steel encased in velvet. It amazed him to think that it was actually because of him. Not yet opening his eyes he gave an experimental stroke of his hand, his heart thudding in his chest as hips rose with him. He figured it was now or never.

His head rose up from it's position on Ichimaru's hip and his eyes opened and he just looked at it for a moment. It was long and beautiful and asking for _his_ attention, the evidence a small drop of moisture at the tip, and steeling his nerves, Hitsugaya dipped his head, let his tongue fall from his parted lips to catch that drop of moisture before it could roll down.

He didn't know what he had expected it to taste like, but it hadn't been this. There was barely a taste at all, only something that was slightly salty and not necessarily bad. Opening his mouth wide he drew the head of Ichimaru's cock into his mouth, relishing in the groan that he heard from above. He circled the ridges of it with his tongue hoping to catch more of the taste.

His head began to move on it's own, up and down, open and down, in an easy rhythm that he instantly fell into as he began to bob his head lightly in time with it. He was almost startled when he heard Ichimaru's voice call out to him.

"Yes, just like that, Shiro. Fuck, what a naughty child you are. So perfect…" Ichimaru's voice sounded strained, reverent even and Hitsugaya hummed in satisfaction, nearly chocking when that unintentionally caused Ichimaru's hips to jerk upwards.

Any other time Ichimaru's words would have made him embarrassed, angry even, by now they had the adverse effect on him and he found himself reaching down between their bodies to close his hand around his own now painfully hard erection as he tried to stretch his mouth wider and relax his throat to take as much of Ichimaru in as he could, and what he couldn't take he stroked with his hand.

His tongue, eager and inexperienced began to trace every ridge of Ichimaru's cock, exploring the new territory and Ichimaru's didn't seem to mind as his long fingers wove into Hitsugaya's hair and gently pulled.

It was incredible to see Ichimaru like this, not in control, so completely open to him that he wanted to sob in joy that this man, this fucking snake of a man, was his and only his.

His mouth moved faster, salvia dripping from his stretched lips onto Ichimaru's cock, sloppy but oh so delicious, and Ichimaru never had to work so hard to keep the sounds at bay. He had had skilled lovers before, lovers who could take him to the hilt and drag an orgasm from him with barely any effort, but this was different, this was Hitsugaya, his innocent Hitsugaya, and he didn't know how much longer he could control himself. He looked down to see Hitsugaya's lips stretched so obscenely over his length, bright red from abuse and he moaned aloud even as his hands settled on those hollowed cheeks and began to rub at Hitsugaya's jawbone to help relieve some the tension.

Hitsugaya once more groaned and it sent vibrations through his cock, and with soft cries he urged Hitsugaya to go faster, suck him harder until the mixture of the delicious suction, the wet sounds and the knowledge that this was Hitsugaya fully hit him and he came with a silent cry, his vision going temporarily white from the intensity of his orgasm.

When his vision cleared he looked to down to see Hitsugaya still between his legs, Ichimaru's cum falling from his lips as he fought to swallow the rest before his mouth opened in a pant as his tiny hand jerked viciously on his cock.

It was a gorgeous sight.

With something akin to desperation Ichimaru reached down to slap that hand away before bodily pulling Hitsugaya up to him, his own hand closing around that pretty dick and jerking it with expert, sure movements, watching as Hitsugaya writhed and cried out below, his head thrashing back and forth before Ichimaru was closing his mouth over his own, tasting himself on that sweet tongue.

It didn't take long before Hitsugaya was screaming into his mouth and warmth was covering his hand in spurts and he closed his eyes and rested his head against Hitsugaya's as the little one breathed in and out erratically, his hips still twitching lightly.

And he knew, in that instant so clearly that this was all he needed. That years upon years of devotion dulled in comparison to this one thing lying panting below him. He had nothing left but this, and yet it was all he wanted anyway. Fuck Aizen, fuck everything that he had given in order to mold himself into the perfect tool. Aizen had read him easily, so painfully easy, but now it was time for something drastic, something that perhaps his captain had never seen coming.

"_Because I love a good show and you always put on one hell of a show."_

_Of course, Aizen-sama._

"Ne Chibi, what do ya say ta us gettin' outta here?"


	18. Persuasion

**Disclaimer: **No, still do not own.

**A/N:** Hello lovelies! Thank you for the patience…and the death threats. You're all so wonderful. This chapter was especially hard to write, but I hope you all enjoy it. To all my reviewers, I love you dearly and please continue to feed me….mmmm delicious reviews. I want to become morbidly obese on them. Help me fulfill my dream? Anyway, love to know what you guys think. Shit is about to seriously hit the fan, just you wait.

Much Love!

TillThatTime

* * *

_Persuasion_

There was no way.

Teal eyes widened slowly as the meaning of Ichimaru's words slowly sunk into his post coitus mind. With weak arms he pushed at Ichimaru's shoulders, using the leverage to raise his head and look into Ichimaru's eyes, trying to gauge if the man was serious or not. The fox only stared back at him, his expression the same as it always had been, gleeful and mysterious. Yet there was something there, something that hadn't been there before that told Hitsugaya that Ichimaru was in no mood for jokes.

No way…

"Ichimaru, are you…"

"Serious? Let me tell ya something', Chibi, that word doesn' even begin ta cover it."

"But….but…how?"

"Time away from society has really done wonders ta yer verbal skills."

Any other time he would have been pissed off at the statement, would have had something to say in return, but right now his mind was reeling and he couldn't find the proper words to even form a coherent thought, let alone sentence. Ichimaru wanted to get them out of here? His captor wanted to escape with him? He wanted to betray Aizen?

"Yer thinkin' too much." Ichimaru teased, ducking his head to trace a slick line with his tongue along Hitsugaya's pulse point. The smaller of the two groaned slightly in irritation and pleasure before latching his fingers in Ichimaru's hair and pulling his lips away.

"It makes no sense, Ichimaru. Even if you really did want to get out of here, how would we do it with just the two of us?"

"Who said anythin' about it bein' jus' the two o' us?" Ichimaru replied before he too snaked his fingers into Hitsugaya's own hair and yanked, grinning when the young captain clenched his teeth and hissed, releasing Ichimaru's hair in an instant. "Ya need ta play nice."

Hitsugaya only growled and scooted away from Ichimaru's body when the man giggled. "Stop fucking around and tell me what you mean by this. It isn't funny!"

"No, I suppose it isn't." Ichimaru stared at him for a moment, as if contemplating the next thing he was about to say, before he reached out and pulled Hitsugaya against him and sealed their lips together. Hitsugaya grunted in surprise, his eyes wide, before he let them drift closed, surrendering himself to the now familiar sensation of Ichimaru's lips against his own. He was just about to open his mouth and let that sinful tongue enter before the other man was pulling away, and he would swear later that he didn't almost whimper in disappointment. For a moment Ichimaru just let his forehead rest against Hitsugaya's own, but then he spoke.

"I'm leavin' this place. Are ya comin' with me o' not?"

For a singular moment Hitsugaya could only stare at him through wide eyes, disbelief stretching them at the corners. How could Ichimaru, after everything, possibly think….

His eyes hardened.

"What the hell do you think?"

Ichimaru let out a bark of laughter before he stood up, giving a blushing Hitsugaya a full view of his naked body before he fished their clothes from the floor, tossing Hitsugaya's own at him.

"That's the only answer I woulda accepted. Now git dressed, there's some people we need ta talk ta."

They walked quietly down the halls of Las Noches, Ichimaru's fingers curled around Hitsugaya's slender wrist as he pulled him along. The white haired boy had no idea what time it was but he had to guess that it was a time when most everyone else was asleep. He felt anxiety tighten uncomfortably around his throat. This was a dangerous game they were playing and he didn't want to think of the consequences of if they were caught. Death he could handle, it was what came before death that made him uneasy.

"Ichimaru, what if Aizen-" His worried whisper was cut off by Ichimaru's hushed tone.

"We ain't gonna git caught. Not yet at least. I'd stake my life on the fact that I know these halls better than Aizen."

"Only your life?"

"And yers as well, it would seem." Ichimaru teased, and before Hitsugaya had a chance to respond, they stopped at a door. It looked like all the rest, but it seemed to be the one Ichimaru had been looking for. He didn't even raise a hand to knock, but rather let his fingers fall around the knob, turning it quietly. Before he could actually get the door open though, it swung open from the other side and Ichimaru was roughly drug inside, Hitsugaya being forced to follow as he was still held onto by a pale hand. Hitsugaya gasped as his captor was slammed up against the wall, and due to the darkness in the room he couldn't tell whose room exactly they had intruded on. There was tense silence before Ichimaru spoke, amusement heavy in his tone.

"Down kitty."

A light was lit somewhere behind them, Hitsugaya's head turned towards it and the first thing he saw was the quatro espada sitting on the bed on the opposite wall, a sheet drawn up around his waist and his face blank as he stared past Hitsugaya to where the commotion was.

Toshiro turned his head in time to see a very recognizable blue haired man holding a grinning Ichimaru up against the white walls. It only took him a second to realize the sexta espada was completely naked.

"Dammit!" He cried out before turning away sharply, his cheeks heating from embarrassment.

"What the fuck are ya doin' here, ya creepy bastard?" Grimmjow growled, ignoring the boy Ichimaru held onto, the one who so desperately wanted to be anywhere but in that room at the moment.

"Is that anyway ta talk ta a superior, Grimmy-chan? I only came by ta say hi. Now if ya don' mind, yer scarin' the poor 'ittle taicho."

"Huh?" Grimmjow cocked his head in confusion, and it was Ulquiorra's turn to speak up.

"Your clothes, Grimmjow." He answered, already having slipped into a white yukata. Grimmjow took a moment to stare down at his own nakedness before his eyes fell on the young captain who was beet red at this point. With an annoyed grunt he reluctantly let go of Ichimaru and walked back towards the bed, ripping the sheet off of it and tying it around his waist.

"Sheesh."

"Why are you here, Ichimaru-sama?" Ulquiorra's low voice cut through the room, and Hitsugaya turned his attention to Ichimaru, wondering the exact same thing.

"Ya see, Ulqui-chan," Grimmjow growled at the pet name but Ichimaru simply ignored him. "I have a proposition fer the both o' ya."

"Oh? And what the fuck would that be?" Grimmjow sneered, his body bristling as Ichimaru's grin split his face further.

"Ichimaru, you can't possibly-" Hitsugaya began, having an odd feeling about where this was all going.

"Shut up, hime." Hitsugaya found his mouth shutting at the command and he glared when Grimmjow gave him an odd look. "I want ya two ta help me do somethin'."

"Ichimaru-sama, what exactly do you need our help to do?" Ulquiorra questioned and Hitsugaya noticed upon further examination that Ulquiorra's shoulders had tensed.

"Commit treason."

"Excuse me?" Ulquiorra's eyes had narrowed and he rose slowly from his sitting position on the bed.

"I believe I made myself very clear. I want ya two ta help me commit treason, and o' course, by doin' so, commit it yerself."

"What the fuck are ya talkin' about?" Grimmjow had moved to stand by his fellow espada, the two of them standing still even as the air in the room became thick with tension.

"Am I going ta have ta keep repeatin' myself?" Ichimaru made a show of throwing his hands up in mock exasperation.

"I believe you have made a grave mistake, Ichimaru-sama." Ulquiorra's words were cold, the threat obvious in them and Hitsugaya felt himself shudder even as he moved to stand by Ichimaru, unsure of what he could actually do to help with no means of defense, but knowing that he needed to be there.

"Mah mah, I don' believe I actually have. I'm offerin' ya somethin' that ya should really think about takin'."

"Oh yeah, and why is that?" The sexta snarled, his fists clenching at his sides as he took a step forward.

"Because ya either do this now, o' watch as one or both o' ya dies later." Ichimaru's tone was the same as ever, yet there was something darker creeping around his words and it caused Grimmjow to take a step back in confusion. It was Ulquiorra who broke the silence, for once his voice ringing with emotion. Controlled anger.

"You should hold your tongue, Ichimaru-sama."

"How very bold o' ya, Ulquiorra. Does it bother ya ta hear the truth? I can't say I blame ya really, I know it bothered me."

"Your reasoning holds no meaning."

"Naivety is not something that suites ya, Ulquiorra."

"You speak of betrayal!"

"I speak o' reality."

There were no more teasing words, there was no easing into this anymore. Ichimaru was trusting his instincts while playing a deadly game and Hitsugaya could only hope that he knew what he was doing.

"Ya don' mean anythin' ta him. Yer tools, ya got that? Good 'ittle soldiers used ta win a war and then be discarded o'later as imperfections in his dream world. He never spoke o' loyalty ta ya, because he holds none."

"What makes you so sure?"

Ichimaru was silent for a moment, and Hitsugaya knew his next words would be important.

"Do ya know what it's like ta devote yerself ta somethin' fer a century? Ta believe in yer own importance ta a cause and then be cast down as if ya were nothin' with a few words and a wave o' a hand? Ta be told that everythin' ya've molded yerself inta is unimportant and unneeded?"

And there it was. The reason for all of this. Ichimaru Gin, Aizen's most loyal servant, had been cast aside as if it were nothing and the pain of it was eating him alive. Hitsugaya knew somewhere in the back of his mind that it was truly what Ichimaru had deserved, but that didn't stop his heart from clenching as he reached out to tangle his small fingers in Ichimaru's robes in an attempt to offer some form of comfort. He'd never know exactly what Aizen had said but he knew enough.

"A hundred years o' dedication made meaningless with a word. If that's all the loyalty he has fer his longest companion, what do ya think he's gonna do ta the 'ittle monsters that kneel at his feet?"

Grimmjow sunk unto the bed, his large hands fisting in his blue hair as he growled in anger, trying to comprehend what Ichimaru had just said to him, and struggling to believe the words at all, but it was Ulquiorra who stood perfectly still, his lips drawn in a thin line and Hitsugaya wondered if he was having trouble breathing.

"I was always meant to be used as a tool." He spoke evenly, though he barely moved a muscle.

"Ulquiorra-"

"Silence, Grimmjow." He spoke, and for once the larger man did as he was told. "I have no problem dying for his cause."

Ichimaru's fingers rose to scratch at his chin as he contemplated Ulquiorra. "See, I believe that's true, but I do think ya might have a problem watchin' Grimmjow die fer it."

Ulquiorra's eyes widened fractionally and Grimmjow raised his head up, his eyes locking on Ulquiorra.

"You should be weary of the implications in your words, Ichimaru-sama."

"Please, ya think Aizen doesn' know about the two o' ya? Ya think ya've got this 'ittle fuck and be fucked game o' yers all figured out? Ya think he's gonna sit back forever and watch as his heartless 'ittle tools whisper lovingly inta each other's ears? This is weakness ta him. Disgustin' weakness that he'll watch fer amusement until he tires o' it and then he'll put a stop ta it."

Ichimaru stepped forward, his strides steady as he came face to face with the two espada who watched him in silence. His voice was soft when he spoke next and Hitsugaya had to strain to hear him.

"Oh, and he will put a stop ta it. He'll make ya watch Ulquiorra as his slices Grimmjow all up somethin' awful, and he'll do it slowly too. And don't think ya wont get the same treatment, Grimmjow. As you're layin' there bleedin' on the floor he'll take yer lover here and fuck him right in front o' yer eyes. And he'll smile that smile o' his the whole time and ensure that this is jus' what naughty children deserve. And this offer I made ta ya will be the last thing ya think about before ya die listen to Ulquiorra scream. I've known him far longer than ya, child, and I know what I say is the truth, and somewhere deep down ya know it is too…Would ya like that, Grimmjow? Ta hear Ulquiorra scream while another man pounds inta his tight ass?"

It all happened so fast Hitsugaya didn't have time to react. In an instant Grimmjow had abandoned his position on the bed and was on top of Ichimaru, pounding his fists into his face and growling in rage. Hitsugaya wondered in horror why Ichimaru hadn't stopped him, because Hitsugaya knew his power, he knew he could have easily dodged, so why was he just lying there and taking it! Despite his best interest Hitsugaya immediately ran to Grimmjow, pulling at his arms and back, anything he could reach as he desperately tried to get Grimmjow off of Ichimaru. His vision went blank temporarily as Grimmjow swung back and hit him in the face, sending him flying against the wall.

Upon seeing this, Ichimaru was no longer immobile, and before even Ulquiorra could comprehend what was happening, Grimmjow was flung across the room and Ichimaru was kneeling in front of his little lover, taking his face in his hands and inspecting for damage.

"I'm-I'm alright." Hitsugaya struggled to catch his breath back, and he didn't miss the look of concern in Ichimaru's eyes, though the man would never admit it. "Aizen could have heard all this-"

"He put a shield around this room as soon as he entered." Ulquiorra said from behind them, already at Grimmjow's side and pulling him to his feet. Both Grimmjow and Hitsugaya looked at Ulquiorra in shock. Neither one of them had seen Ichimaru do that. "Calm yourself, Grimmjow. You hurt the child."

"He ain't no kid." Grimmjow growled, and despite how fucked up this situation was, Hitsugaya suddenly felt thankful to the man for acknowledging that. "He's a little brat, but he ain't no kid."

Scratch that.

Hitsugaya's mind replayed the events of the last few moments, trying to understand exactly what had just happened. He remembered the awful things Ichimaru had said right before Grimmjow had attacked him. it seemed despite everything, despite the way Ichimaru treated him now, he was still a very cruel man.

"You shouldn't have said those things." He grumbled as Ichimaru used his thumb to wipe the blood away from Hitsugaya's bruised lower lip.

"The truth is an awful thing, yeah?" The silver haired man replied and Hitsugaya took the time to take in Ichimaru's appearance, wincing when he noticed the blood around his left ear and the bruising that was forming on his face. Grimmjow had done some damage but he had been sloppy and inaccurate, especially for an espada, but then again, Hitsugaya supposed that that was what blind rage did to people.

He reached his own shaking hand out, ignoring the dull pain in his body as he cupped his fingers along Ichimaru's pointed jaw, trying to add some comfort. He drew in a sharp breath when Ichimaru's head turned slightly and he brushed his lips against the inside of Hitsugaya's palm. It took him a moment to remember that they weren't exactly alone.

"Gross."

Oh, that's right.

Immediately he withdrew his hand from Ichimaru and turned his attention to the two arrancar on the opposite side of the room. Grimmjow still appeared to be fuming but he seemed to have calmed himself, if only slightly. It was Ulquiorra however, whose eyes stayed trained on Ichimaru, cold and narrowed, though Hitsugaya wasn't sure if it was exactly in anger.

"Are you truly proposing that we abandon the allegiances that we have made in order to help you escape?" Ulquiorra said slowly, not even blinking as he and Ichimaru stared each other down.

"And ta escape with me, Ulqui-chan, yes."

"Why us?" Grimmjow chose that time to pipe in, his voice gruff as he folded his arms across his chest.

Ichimaru chuckled flat out at that, but then held his hands up in mock surrender when Grimmjow hissed at him. "Why not? Ya two have the most ta gain by leavin' here and the most ta lose by stayin'. And no body else's _loyalty_ is as thin."

"My loyalty is unwavering." Ulquiorra hissed out, surprising everybody but Ichimaru with the sudden venom his words held.

With a smile that would have seemed almost kind if it had been anybody else, Ichimaru rose to his feet, uncaring and unnoticing of any damage that may have been done to his body, and walked slowly to where Ulquiorra stood, holding up a hand to stop Grimmjow when the blue haired man tensed as if ready to attack.

"Oh no no no, quatro espada, I don't think yer bein' honest. See, I've spent my entire life learnin' ta read people, and despite all yer efforts and guises I can read ya as well. I think it gets weaker every night. I think yer devotion, yer adoration and yer _loyalty _wavers with every single _thrust._"

"Enough." There were warning signs going off in Ulquiorra's voice and even Grimmjow took a step back even as his eyes widened at Ichimaru's words.

"It's gettin' harder and harder ta play the good 'ittle soldier, right? Especially when all that reverence ya held fer yer God is now suddenly bein' transferred ta someone else."

"Ulquiorra-" Grimmjow began, his voice sounding worried.

"Enough, I said."

"It scares ya doesn' it? Big, bad Ulquiorra is terrified because he doesn't understand what's goin' on. Because his _heart's _so fuckin' knotted in his chest that even the thought of somethin' happenin' ta kitty-chan makes him want to renounce every single thing he's devoted himself ta."

Hitsugaya could only watch on, even as he felt the stabbing in his gut that told him that Ichimaru was no longer just speaking about Ulquiorra.

"Everythin' I said was true, ya know. Either ya leave here with me, throw away yer loyalty o' ya watch him die before yer eyes. The decision is up ta ya, Ulquiorra. He's already made up his mind." Ulquiorra's eyes cut to Grimmjow in question, who looked away, refusing to meet his gaze and in turn giving away his answer. "But he ain't leaving with out ya."

There was silence in the room. No one dared to speak and Hitsugaya felt his blood pounding viciously in his ears as he waited. After what seemed like eternity, Ulquiorra's fists clenched at his sides and for one sick moment he thought the espada was going to attack, but then that black head of hair slowly raised up and emerald eyes connected with crimson.

"We'll do it."


	19. Reunion

**A/N:** Ok guys, I have to be honest with you my loves, this story came dangerously close to being discontinued after I read what was happening in the current chapters of the Bleach manga. No, it came more than close, I had truly decided not to finish it. However, a very well-timed and moving review from Delmasca (and not even for THIS damn story, mind you) saved it from being left unfinished. Despite me being very saddened by Bleach, I'm going to finish this story for everyone who is just as disappointed as I am. So, despite the fact that it takes me literally months to update, have no fear, this story well never be discontinued and it WILL be finished. Keep showing me your love, please, because you have no idea how much your reviews can change somebody's mood or opinion and eventually I will thank each one of you for being so devoted. And if you want to thank someone for this story, you should thank Delmasca, cause she saved its ass like the little angel she is.

**P.S.** To everyone who was disappointed about Hitsugaya's lack of power, just let me say a few things. One, he has a reiatsu blocker on him, and without his powers, he's in the body of a 13 year old, what do you expect? And two, all you had to do was be patient and have a little faith in me, my dears.

ALSO, if you're curious to see the review that got me to continue this story, here it is below. It's for my Naruto one-shot, A Broken Mantra

"You know, I really wanted to take my time. I wanted to choose my words carefully and wait for a "hit the nail on the head" phrase that would allow me to convey to you what your story just meant to me. But then I realized that what I'm feeling is located exactly on the left side of my chest, and that it is special enough that I'd rather not try to describe it.

Instead I'd like to share with you an interesting fact. Every time I try my hardest to stop reading Naruto, when I try to stop watching the anime,try to stop reading its multitudes of fanfiction because of the anger I feel, I see this; your story, word for word, image for image, emotion for emotion, and I grudgingly continue.

It's how I console myself and my rage in Naruto's name. Everyone gets what they deserve.

No one would agree, but it's the happiest ending imaginable.

Thank you."

**Warning**: This chapter may seem a little off, I'm trying to get my grove back after almost putting a torch to it. Also, may have more typos than usual. My bad.

* * *

Reunion

In the quiet of their room they stared at each other in silence.

Hitsugaya wondered idly when he had started referring to it as "their" room.

He watched almost wearily as Ichimaru moved from his standing position and slinked towards him, climbing slowly onto the bed where Hitsugaya was perched, a grin of triumph plastered on his face, and it suddenly became ironic that Ichimaru referred to _him_ as a cat.

He stayed still as Ichimaru approached him and didn't move until the man cupped his long fingers on either side of his face, leaned forward and began placing soft kisses along the bruises under his eye.

He tilted his face towards the feel of those lips, even as they slightly stung his damaged skin and he let out a breath of air that had been trapped in his throat.

"Ya shouldn' interfere when tha grown-ups are talkin'." Ichimaru breathed into his ear, and even though the words were taunting, Hitsugaya could hear the underlining seriousness behind them.

"By talking do you mean getting the shit beat out of you?" He bit out, not bothering to keep the bitterness out of his voice even as small fingers wove into Ichimaru's silver hair, because Ichimaru could have stopped it, could have easily subdued Grimmjow, but he hadn't, he had just fucking _taken it_. "Bakayaro"

"Anger, chibi, anger is a motivator, one that I needed ta git 'em to cooperate. He had ta git pissed, o' it never woulda worked."

He leveled Ichimaru with a stare then and spoke the words that he had been thinking since Ulquiorra had said yes and probably even before that.

"This is stupid."

"Very."

"We can't win!"

"Probably not."

"But that doesn't change the fact that we're going to do this, does it?"

Ichimaru didn't answer then, instead he just moved his hands down Hitsugaya face along his neck and down, down, down until they reached his slim waist and he bodily pulled the captain to sit on his lap.

He slipped the shoulder of Hitsugaya's thin clothing down before he leaned forward and rested his lips on the smooth skin he found there. Hitsugaya closed his eyes, suddenly feeling a burning behind them that he didn't care to acknowledge.

"And what about you, Ichimaru?"

"Hmmm?" The slight vibration of Ichimaru's lips across his skin almost made him forget what he was going to say next. Almost.

"Are you angry?"

Ichimaru drew back to look at him, studying with his nearly closed eyes and Hitsugaya just stared back, knowing that there was no reason to back down on something like this, and then he saw something break in Ichimaru's gaze, and he knew he either said the right or the incredibly wrong thing.

"Furious." Ichimaru whispered before diving in and latching his teeth onto the same spot where his lips had rested gently moments before. Hitsugaya arched up involuntarily, a keening cry falling from his lips, his head fell back and Ichimaru held him possessively to his chest as he marked him all over again.

Hitsugaya gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut because he didn't have to look to know that blood was now spilling through the sides of Ichimaru's mouth and running down his shoulder and chest. He felt his skin break under Ichimaru's canines and still the man didn't let up and it hurt, it fucking _burnt_, but still he felt himself becoming hard, and he didn't understand it, how pain could make him ache in an entirely different way, but at this moment he _believed _in it.

Ichimaru didn't even bother to remove Hitsugaya's clothes, he just snaked a hand in between their bodies and without any hesitation dove into his pants and roughly began to jerk him off. The glide of Ichimaru's hand over his cock wasn't smooth, wasn't gentle, and the friction was too much, but still Hitsugaya was moving with it, wanting it, craving it, as high pitched, rapid pants fell from his lips in between calls of Ichimaru's name, sounding like it was the only word Hitsugaya knew anymore.

Through his hazed mind, the young captain barely registered that this was actually the roughest Ichimaru had ever been with him, that every other time, even through his cruel words, Ichimaru had shown restraint, almost caution in his actions. Now it was almost brutal. Now it was so fucked up Hitsugaya wasn't even sure how it got to this point, but he couldn't bring himself to regret his choice of words.

Ichimaru was mumbling softly against his throat, even as his hand moved at an unwavering speed. It took Hitsugaya a moment to comprehend what he was saying but eventually he got it.

"I have ta have somethin' that's mine. If everthin' else is gone, I need ta have somethin'."

Histugaya didn't know what compelled him to do it, maybe because Ichimaru was showing weakness in his brutal behavior and he wanted to return the favor but he suddenly clasped Ichimaru's face in between his hands and placed the gentlest kisses he was capable of on the lips, eyes, forehead and cheeks of the man who held his cock in a now shaking, vice-like grip.

"You have me. You already have me. It's enough, Ichimaru, it's enough." He managed to get out between kisses and pants and cries.

Ichimaru's hand stuttered in its movements and he stilled for a moment and Hitsugaya almost wanted to cry from it, but then Ichimaru was nodding against his hands and leaning in to catch his lower lip between his teeth and suddenly that wicked hand was moving again, gentler this time, stroking and twisting up as a long fingers circled the head, smearing the droplets of precome that had gathered along the slit, and Hitsugaya was back to saying things he'd probably regret later but didn't give a damn about then.

"I'm yours. I'll be yours. Just don't stop, Gin. Please, just don't stop."

"I wont."

Their lips collided in a kiss that seemed so familiar now and Hitsugaya moved in time with Ichimaru, and growled when the fox-man swatted his hands away when Hitsugaya tried to reach down to return the favor.

"Not about me, Toshiro."

The pressure was building, coiling so tightly in his gut that it hurt, and Hitsugaya didn't think he'd ever be used to it, but he knew he never wanted it to stop.

Still, it had to end eventually, and it did when Ichimaru gave one harsh tug as he leaned down to lick away the blood trails on Hitsugaya's shoulder and abruptly Hitsugaya was screaming Ichimaru's name and coming all over that pale hand and the inside of his shorts and he was holding on for dear life to the one thing that had dismantled him in the first place.

"Gin…Gin…Gin…" He kept repeating the mantra over and over again as he came down from his high. He _felt_ Ichimaru's free hand smoothing down his side, calming him, and he _heard_ Ichimaru raise his other hand to his lips and lick away his essence from them, and he _smelt_ the heady scent of sex and sweat and them lingering in the air, and he _tasted_ all of it on his tongue, but he kept his eyes closed because he needed to enjoy this moment and not have to think about everything he had to face when he decided to open them.

It wasn't until Ichimaru was smoothing his eyebrows with his thumb that he finally did open them. Teal found crimson and for a moment they just stared at each other until Ichimaru's eyes began to close once more and his ever present grin was back in place.

"If you keep dropping the act like that, it will lose its impact." Hitsugaya said and he wasn't sure if he was actually teasing or not.

"All good things must come ta an end." Ichimaru sing-songed and Hitsugaya had to resist the urge to roll his eyes like a human teenager.

"Che."

Hitsugaya reached a hand up and pulled his sleeve back over his shoulder and into place, wincing slightly at the feeling of stickiness in his pants. Ichimaru watched him the entire time, not offering any help but not hindering him either. As he shifted to relieve some of the odd feeling, the front of his groin accidentally brushed against Ichimaru's and he was immediately aware of the man's own problem.

Despite everything that had happened already, he still felt heat stain the color of his cheeks and for a moment he just stared at the prominent bulge, before catching Ichimaru's eyes that had been fixed on him the entire time.

"Ichimaru, you're…I could-"He began, feeling incredibly irritated by the modesty that still entrapped him.

"What do ya expect, Shiro, with ya wigglin' and cryin and moanin' my name so deliciously like that." Ichimaru chuckled but still he stopped Hitsugaya's hand when it reached for the center of his arousal. He giggled even louder when he saw the indignant glare from his little chibi at being stopped from doing something that probably took a lot of built up courage to do in the first place.

"There will be plenty o' time fer me later."

And Hitsugaya supposed that that was the closest to a promise that they were going to survive this as he was ever going to get. It was a promise that Ichimaru probably couldn't keep and it did nothing to settle the storm in his mind, but it did wonders for his heart. He nodded slowly despite himself and instead just leaned forward until cheek was resting against Ichimaru's chest.

"What about Ulquiorra, Ichimaru? What if he turns on us?" He still had his doubts after all.

"He wont." Ichimaru answered simply, reaching a hand up to tangle it in Hitsugaya's unruly locks, giving a playful tug every once in awhile, immensely enjoying the growl that the action produced.

"How can you be so sure about that?"

"Because somethin' much more destructive than anger motivates him. Well, really, it motivates tha both o' 'em."

"That being?" Hitsugaya asked, raising his head up slightly and swatting Ichimaru's hand away.

"Isn't it obvious, 'ittle one? Love."

Hitsugaya let out a disbelieving snort at the idea, but in truth the notion had already crossed his mind, though it completely rivaled with everything he had been taught about hollows and the extent of their emotions.

"You want me to believe that those two hollows are-"

"In love with each other? No, I ain't askin' ya ta believe anything'. Tha idea itself is disgustingly ludicrous…Still, more solid belief systems hav' been destroyed before."

"So, this… love they have for each other is stronger than their loyalty?" Hitsugaya questioned, suddenly becoming uneasy with the direction the conversation had taken but wanting to press on anyway.

"This ain't really my subject, Shiro-chan." And despite there being no indication in his slightly amused voice, Hitsugaya had to wonder if Ichimaru was becoming just as uncomfortable as he was. "But it woul' seem they are tradin' in their loyalty fer another type o' loyalty."

"For each other?"

"Cute, huh?"

"That's not really the phrase I would use."

"Sour puss."

"Ichimaru-" Hitsugaya was silenced by a finger placed on his lips and he narrowed his eyes down at the offending digit, not really caring at the moment if it made him look ridiculous.

"Enough, Chibi. We hav' other things ta discuss. Like ya stayin' out o' other people's fights."

Hitsugaya let out an annoyed huff, crossing his arms over his chest. "Are we still on that? Look you bastard, despite everything, do not forget that I am still a captain of the Gotei 13, and I probably earned my position far more fairly than you did." It was a low blow, so what?

Ichimaru laughed right out at that. "Ne Hitsugaya-taicho, how could I forget when ya seem so keen on remindin' me." Ichimaru teased.

Hitsugaya was ready to retort and quite violently too when Ichimaru leaned in and captured his lips in a quick kiss before disappearing out the door after muttering a low, "Wait here fer a moment."

Hitsugaya stared around the now unoccupied room, wondering where Ichimaru had ran off too. His retreat had been abrupt to say the least.

He fell back against his sheets, once again making a face at the feel of cum drying on the inside of his pants and he made a mental note, much to his own embarrassment, to remove said pants before engaging in anything like that again.

He let out a customary sigh as he settled into a position that was more comfortable while he waited for Ichimaru to return and he raised one hand up to brush away the hair that had fallen into his eyes, wincing when the action caused him to graze across the bruises on his face.

A hiss that was not entirely attributed to pain left him and he was suddenly brought back to what had happened only a little while ago.

Could this really work?

Could they really escape from this hell hole, limbs intact? It didn't seem very likely. Even with two of the espadas begrudgingly on their side, they still had an army to face.

He felt a shiver run through him at the thought of once again coming face to face with Nnoitra. Or the far worse devil that was Aizen.

And despite everything there was to fear, he felt anger as well. Anger at Aizen for taking the power he had and manipulating it into something so dark. Anger at Ichimaru for dragging him into this fucked up world where he no longer knew where he stood, and anger at himself for being afraid in the first place. He suddenly felt glad that there were no mirrors to be found in this place, because would he even recognize himself anymore or would he only see the scared little boy he felt himself to be?

He grabbed the pillow that lay beside his head and shoved it over his face. It was a bit childish he knew, but it was something he had been doing for as long as he could remember. Whenever something seemed insurmountable or hopeless or if things were just too much to handle, he would press his face against his pillow and breathe deeply, finding, if only for a moment, some solace in the darkness.

This time relief was a little harder to obtain.

Still, he could always pretend. So he laid there, with his pillow over his head, breathing in and out, as deeply as he could and as slowly as he could. It wasn't until he heard Ichimaru's voice some minutes later that he stirred.

"Takin' tha easy way out and tryin' ta suffocate yerself?"

"Shut up, dammit."

"Ne Hime, why don't ya come out from under there? I have somthin' ya might wanna see."

Hitsugaya pulled the pillow reluctantly away from his face and raised up, ready to retort, but anything he might have said caught in his throat the moment he saw what Ichimaru held in his arms.

It wasn't the clean pair of pants that were neatly folded, and very appealing that made him gasp, it was what laid on top of them. The light in the room caught a glint on the metal and Hitsugaya followed it all the way along the blade until it reached a hilt that had once felt so familiar in his hand. He wondered if it would still feel that way.

"Hy-Hyorinmaru!"

The name sounded thick on his tongue and he wanted to say it again and again until it felt like it used to

He didn't notice Ichimaru watching him as his eyes stayed planted on his zanpakuto and he rose shakily from the bed. He didn't even look up when the other man spoke.

" I can't release tha bind ya have on yer reiatsu yet, cause Aizen would notice immediately, but I thought ya'd might like ta have this back."

Something akin to a ragged cry fell from Hitsugaya's throat as he lunged the few feet there was between Ichimaru and himself and without any hesitation gripped his sword in his hands and pulled it against his chest in a mock form of a hug.

There still was no power there, as the bind was still intact, but even so he could feel Hyorinmaru thrumming contentedly below the surface, happy to be reunited with his master once again, and it felt…right, in a way that was only ever achieved when he was holding his zanpakuto. This was a part of him, a piece that had been ripped away since coming to this place, and though Ichimaru had destroyed and rebuilt him, this was something that would forever shape him no matter what. It was a little bit of power back when for so long he felt like he had none. His head was spinning with the heady intoxication of it.

"Adorable."

He didn't even have to think.

In a second he had Ichimaru pressed against the wall, the tip of Hyorinmaru against his pale throat. And Hitsugaya knew Ichimaru had expected it, had let him do it even, but it didn't stop the thrill of pleasure ripping through him at the feel of having a little bit of control back.

Ichimaru's throat shook with amused chuckles, but he at least had the decency to angle his throat away from the blade as not to get cut.

"There's my feisty kitty."

Hitsugaya just gritted his teeth and pressed the blade closer, focusing in on the tip as it pricked the thin skin of Ichimaru's neck, causing a thin trail of blood to run down the column of Ichimaru's throat. He thought briefly that now he and Ichimaru would both have wounds on their necks. He looked up from the spot where his blade was pressed and instead let his eyes focus on Ichimaru.

There was no grin on the other man's face but their was a kind of tenderness that looked so foreign on those pointed features. It made Hitsugaya's pulse quicken.

"What, do ya wanna kill me now that ya got yer 'ittle sword back?" The expression still remained, despite the condescending words. "Ya can do it, ya know, if ya really want ta." Hitsugaya was surprised by the sincerity behind those words. Though it made absolutely no sense to him, he guessed it was Ichimaru's way of giving back some of what he had taken. He felt Ichimaru's body relax against him, in a show of acceptance to whatever Hitsugaya wished to do, and the petite taicho smiled, truly smiled, feeling that still annoying stinging in his eyes, because did Ichimaru really think that after everything that had happened, after every curse and kiss and touch that Hitsugaya could really kill him?

"Idiot." He whispered before using his free hand to tangle in Ichimaru's robes and hoist himself up on tip toe so he could connect his lips with the man who stood at the point of his sword.

Ichimaru's hands were no longer idle at his sides and now they were wrapped around Hitsugaya's thin waist pulling the smaller boy closer up against him, groaning deep inside his throat, and it was good, so fucking good, because for once, despite the fact that he couldn't even properly reach and it may only be for this moment, he felt like he and Ichimaru were on equal ground.

"Thank you, thank you so much for this." He mumbled against Ichimaru's lips in between kisses, and a lone tear may have fallen past his closed eyelids, but he would never know because it was caught immediately by Ichimaru's thumb as the man reached a hand up to cup his cheek and nodded against him.

They pulled away from each other after a few moments, both breathing heavier than before and Ichimaru silently took his hand and led him to the bed, where he forced Hitsugaya to sit down, pinning him with a suddenly serious stare.

"Now that that's out o' tha way, ya better start mentally preparing yerself, Chibi."

"Ichimaru?"

"We've got some prisoners we'll need ta release."


End file.
